Mistakes in Motherhood

This morning started out like any normal day, 6 am, get up the kids, shower get dressed. But instead of a jeans and t-shirt, I put on a suit and makeup and fixed my hair, because today was our court date! At 8:30 we dropped off the baby at the sitter’s house and was at the attorney’s office by 8:50. At 9:20 we had an appointment with the attorney to go over the final details and then we walked over to the court house to be there 15 minutes early. We got called in by the court clerk and she locked the court room. The attorney then talked with the judge saying that BM has failed to contact and visit, has not supported him in 6 months. They then talked back and forth to make sure procedure was followed.

Finally the judge asked to talk to Austin, and made sure he was OK with the adoption and name change. He then asked him if he heard what my roles as a parent were (to make sure he has an education, a roof over his head, food and clothing) and told him that as my son he also has responsibilities that include obeying, listening and being respectful to me. The judge said he was satisfied that the termination was in Austin’s best interests and then seconds later said because Austin was free to be adopted that he was granting my motion to adopt and that was that! At 10:15 am MST I legally became the mother of my son who I have known in my heart was my own for 7 years now.

After a quick run to the county clerks office, and then back to the attorneys office, we were all done with the legal part of today. We had a nice brunch and the boys are now watching the new Superman movie with daddy. In about an hour we are going to head up north to Build a Bear to make Austin something to help him remember this day. We are then going to Red Lobster (his choice) for dinner.

Thank you everyone for your kind words and support through this. I really appreciate all of you!!

16 Comments | In: Uncategorized | tags: Adoption, Announcements, Austin, Photography, Updates. | #

Today at 10:15 am I adopted my son Austin, who was my step-son.  I love that I finally have the legal recognition that my heart has felt all along!  Read all about it here on my other blog.

1 Comment | In: Uncategorized | tags: Austin, Updates. | #

…I will legally be the mom to my oldest son. We are all so excited! Austin is counting the hours (13h 40m by the way) until the hearing, though I think he may be a little more nervous than I am. It is just incredible to me that I am able to love him so much. My biggest worry when I agreed to raise Austin, is that I would get tired of babysitting someone else’s kid, but I have never once felt that way about him. Sure, there were times I wanted just to give up, but I have felt that same way about my own children once in a while.

Austin is such a amazing child though, he is so easy to love. Even though he is 10, he is still not too big to ask for a hug or give us a kiss each night before bed. I am not naive though, I know that will change soon, I am not under the impression that he is going to be an easy teen; one could hope though.

I know I have mentioned my favorite poem in here before, but I really think it is appropriate to repeat myself.

Not flesh of my flesh
Nor bone of my bone,
But still miraculously
My own.
Never forget
For a single minute:
You didn’t grow under my heart,
But in it.

–Fleur Conkling Heyliger

I am so ready to get beyond this milestone and live life the way I have felt for over 7 years now. The adoption is great, I have wanted nothing more…. but like Austin and I were discussing, it will not change our relationship. I have always told him that he was my son, and he has always known he is just as loved as his brothers. We have never used labels, so he has never been a step-son or a half-brother. It will be so nice to have the legal rights I felt I earned long before. I often feel it is not the act of pregnancy and childbirth that makes you a mother, but every moment in between the time they are born until they are on their own (and beyond).

The biggest change I think that will come of this is a lack of fear. I no longer worry that if anything were to happen to Bobby, I would lose my husband and son. I no longer fear that if my marriage fails I will not have legal rights to see my son. I no longer worry that if something happens to me, Austin will not receive social security or life insurance benefits. I no longer will need to carry a special piece of paper around to do the simplest of things, like register my son for school or take him to the doctor.

A little side note: Tonight BM called my husband and my heart sank into my chest, I was freaked out that maybe she changed her mind or something. I seriously almost had a panic attack when she called. It was innocent, she broke her cell phone and wanted us to have her husband’s cell phone number in case the judge needs to talk to her tomorrow. But I was just so worried that we came so far for it to be taken away from us. I think I am ready for this, don’t you think?

5 Comments | In: Uncategorized | tags: Adoption, Austin. | #

Bobby brought the car in the house last night when Matthew was in bed, so this morning it was like Christmas morning when he came downstairs.

1 Comment | In: Uncategorized | tags: Matthew, Photography. | #

Imagine a room without limits, pictures without frames, and a room made over in such an extreme way, it looks like it could be made by the professionals. With Wallhogs you can make a room to reflect any personality, any taste and any love by turning any imagine into an easy to apply wall decal.

Imagine your son was really into sailboats, and for his 7th birthday you took him out on a real clipper. Instead of blowing his favorite picture up to an 8×10 and framing it on his wall, you could get a custom wallhog up to over 4 feet wide and 7 feet tall to use as a custom mural, or you could go smaller and turn the same picture into a headboard.

You can also select a finish, add thought bubbles, or have the background removed for you from your favorite picture.

Wallhogs is also working on obtaining licensing rights to release their own images. Ready made pictures of Gwen Steffani are coming soon (my husband loved that idea). Mmmmm, how about a life sized picture of Johnny Depp guys?

1 Comment | In: Uncategorized | tags: Ramblings, Sponsored. | #

Matthew now wants everything in its origional, but opened package. With string cheese he just wants you to open one side just a little bit. With crackers and raisins he want’s to graze straight from the container. With graham crackers he wants to eat them straight from the bag, which was a no-go, since there were still 6 in the bag and he wanted to just nibble a little on each one and then put it away. This is so frustrating because we know what he wants by what he signs (fish crackers, cheese, water, cookie, etc) but it is always a mystery on how he wants it, and if you get it wrong, he screams.

I do have to say, his indipendence can be nice. He is a cleaner eater than before because 9 out of 10 times he can use his utensils all by himself, and he will use the rag to clean his face and tray (with limited success and effectiveness).

Cute story, this morning he was making himself some ‘aquarium soup’ and drinking it. He was dropping about 5 or 6 goldfish crackers into his cup of water and then drinking them. I asked him what he called his new meal and he signed ‘fish-water’ and then said “yum”!

No Comments | In: Uncategorized | tags: Matthew, Milestones. | #

…on my house. There, I admitted it, I feel so much better!

Since we went to our friends’ new house up north, we have fallen in love with the houses, the neighborhood, the schools, the area, etc. This is the house I want (or one like it). We are looking for something with 5+ bedrooms, 3+ bath, and 3,000+ square feet. To see more pictures of the house I like, you will have to register, but it is here.

Of course, I am not ready to drop everything and move now; I would like to have the Honda paid off and at least 75% of our unsecured debt paid off. We are looking at a time frame of 18-30 months before we move. I would also would like to put at least 10% down.

So this is our 2 year plan. This is why I do PayPerPost, and other blogging/writing work. I will also hopefully be watching a baby for 3 hours a day starting in January. This is also the reason I am in a flurry of trying to reduce my monthly bills and save money. It is also the reason we are taking steps to make small improvements to this house.

No Comments | In: People, Places & Things | tags: Finances, House Stuff. | #

Mr. Independent is getting even more self-sufficient; tonight he was thirsty and I guess I was not jumping fast enough when he called, so he moved the chair to the fridge, filled his cup with ice, and then water. He then brought it over to me and together we drank his ice water. He then decided ice makes better blocks, and proceeded to decorate the living-room with ice. I asked him to help me put them in the sink, and he did.

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So, tomorrow I take the van back in AGAIN to see if they can find the oil leak. Before I go I need to gas up since I am on E and I know they will have to test drive it. Bobby said I should take it on E and let them fill it up, (ha ha! We both know better) I said maybe we can have the warranty company cover the gas.

I just hope this is it, I would like to keep this van at least 2 1/2 more years; until it is paid off. Each time I take it in, I hate it even more.

No Comments | In: Uncategorized | tags: Ranting. | #

My friend Julia is in Las Vegas until the middle of this week, she has been there a little over a week visiting her mom who moved to Vegas a few months back. Apparently Las Vegas real estate is booming with 5,000 people moving there each month. It is no wonder it is so difficult to find homes for rent in Las Vegas. There are also new homes being built every day to keep up with the growth, some of the Las Vegas New homes I saw were absolutely beautiful. I hope that if Julia does decide to move to Vegas, where all her family lives, that she finds a great place to live.

No Comments | In: Uncategorized | tags: Ramblings, Sponsored. | #