Mistakes in Motherhood

I can hear my toddler in the other room banging my decorative rocks on the door, so I know he is up to no good, and I know where he is. But do you ever wonder what they are up to when you can’t hear them?? I will give you some examples of what I have caught the children doing in the past. Since this is a clear blackmail post, I will not be mentioning which child did what, I will only mention the age they were at the time of the incident.

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Chairs are evil… because of chairs I have had a toddler climb onto the counter and then on top of the refrigerator to help himself to the food stored up there. After a frenzied search for the ‘lost child’ we found him on top of the refrigerator eating a box of cookies saying “mmmmm“.

Apparently tampons make great ‘pop guns’ for GI Joes.

Matchbox cars also make great roller skates.

No wonder where you hide candy, or treats, it will be found and bunk beds make great hiding areas for wrappers.

You probably DON’T want to know where your missing underwear is, or who is wearing it. If you find it, consider it dirty even if it looks clean.

Toddlers like to eat deodorant. Even though they think it tastes gross, they will go back and eat it again.

If you take a super bloated preschooler to the ER at 2am who feels horrible, he will have a bowel movement at the waiting room bathroom and the doctors will not have a clue why he’s sick by the time you get to the exam room.

Super babies who try to fly, cannot fly… they break bones.

Wearing a cape will not help them fly.

Brothers are mean to each other when no one is looking.

Boys will find a way to get toy guns into the home despite the no gun rule.

One should not hook a bungee cord to a stationary object, hold onto it and walk far away.

Little boys love their penises…. covering it with a diaper will NOT keep them from getting to it. Neither will a diaper, duct tape, backwards onsie, and footie jammies with the zipper safety pinned shut.

Dog food & cat food = baby food. Cat boxes = sandboxes.

Toes are not as difficult to sever as one may think. They are also difficult to repair.

Any time you hear water, it is BAD, VERY BAD!

Color crayons are hard to get out of the dryer.

When you think they have learned their lesson about color crayons and the dryer, they haven’t.

Light bulbs are not safe from boys even if they are way up on the ceiling and protected by a cover.

Just when you think you cannot take anymore, you hear ‘uh oh’.

Neighbors do not appreciate naked toddlers dancing in the window.

Boys are proud of their scars and injuries.

If you think you don’t want to know what they are doing, YOU DON’T!

No Comments | In: Uncategorized | tags: Silliness, Sons. | #

Well the dog food mix up is taken care of. I am sure you all laid awake worrying about my poor starving Chloe.

DH took the day off today because:

1. He felt like it
2. He can
3. They are not dipping into his paid time off, but he’s still getting paid today.

So, I made him actually get showered and dressed and take a break from playing video games to go with me to the feed store to get the RIGHT dog food. He lost the receipt so I was worried they would not exchange it, but I guess that is one of the perks with dealing with a small busienss. The two brands were the same price, so she just told us to drop off the old one, grab a new one, and she would make it OK in the computer.

Of course, the whole drive there and home he’s making smart ass comments about how he does NOT know this neighborhood (I commented yesterday that we are over in that part of town all the time and he SHOULD know his way around).

“I would not have known to take that street”, “wow, I am glad YOU knew to take that shortcut, I would have never known it was there”.

Ugh, men!

No Comments | In: Uncategorized | tags: Bobby, Fur Babies/Pets, Me. | #

So, I mentioned earlier that Pay Per Post is marrying two lucky posties a la Vegas Style, fully paid and sponsored by, you guess it, Pay Per Post (and Advertisers). So, the voting has started! You can now go read the bios of the three lucky contestants and vote for who wins the PayPerPost Wedding! I won’t tell you who I voted for, but I sure wish all three could win!

Go cast your vote now, voting runs from now until November 8th at midnight.

The announcement as to who the winning couple is will be announced Friday November 9th.

Pay Per Post winners will recieve:

• Their wedding license and ceremony
• $1,000 for them to spend how they want
• On night in a premium Vegas Hotel
• Their wedding recording and streamed on the internet for all to see

I am sure PPP will throw in the silliness for free!

Good luck!!

No Comments | In: Uncategorized | tags: Pay Per Post, Sponsored. | #

I love Mothering Magazine, and today I was reading about a contest in response to an article, called ‘Taking Down the Almighty Bottle‘. This is a fantastic read which talks about how the baby bottle is found wallpapered all over the TV, infant blankets and clothes, on wrapping paper, and on cards, and anything associated with babies making artificial milk through bottles seem like social norm and breastfeeding like a taboo. This is the opposite message that we should be sending. In response to the over-sensationalization of bottle icons in public, they have made a contest for design of a breastfeeding icon. Check out these 12 finalists, they are fantastic. I also love the artistic icons, especially the 5th on over in the second row. Finally, they have some really cute ones here.

No Comments | In: Uncategorized | tags: Parenting, Something Worth Mentioning. | #

A few days ago, I posted this story in my blog, about Charlie’s Soap and the rash issue buzzing around the cloth diaper community. Well, I want to report a little update from that post.

• I still love Charlie’s, and I have no plans of switching brands.
• I took another poster’s suggestion and added some bleach to my diapers, maybe 1/4th cup and we no longer have any stink issues, and the little bit of rash we did have is clearing up.
• Check out the link to the original post… Taylor Sutherland from Charlie’s posted a reply! Wow, talk about a company that cares!! Please, do as Taylor says and CALL Charlie’s if you have any concerns. I have no doubt they are trying to get to the bottom of this situation.

Anyways, I hope anyone having problems gets this issue cleared up soon.

No Comments | In: Uncategorized | tags: Parenting, Something Worth Mentioning, Updates. | #

This afternoon just REEKS of Mercury Retrograde; Bobby called to ask if he could pick anything up on his way home, and I told him we needed loose leaf paper for Austin, and dog and cat food from Circle F Feed on Union St, take the Circle exit. So he calls me and tells me that the feed store is gone and that he is going to get paper.

Well, I hang up with him and call the feed store hoping to get a recording about where they went, and I get a real person. I ask him if the store is still open and he says “yes, until 6pm”. So I call him back and ask him where he is and he mentions the next town over…. apparently the name, street, and exit all went over his head. When he finally gets there (he passed it, did not see it, construction) I tell him to ask them what brand I bought most recently and only ONCE and then call be back with the name so I can make sure it’s right. Well, he gets it home, and the dog food he got was the OLD brand… Damn you Mercury!!

I really cannot sum up retrograde, but the above link has more information. Just don’t be surprised if communication, transportation, and technology is a bit wonky for the next few weeks.

No Comments | In: Geek Speak | tags: Bobby, Me, Ranting. | #