Mistakes in Motherhood

Today I read a very moving article in Parenting magazine called “ The 5-Second Tragedy” about Shaken Baby Syndrome. Even as a mom of three, there were some facts that I did not know, such as how quickly a baby can suffer permanent damage, or even death; the average time is 5 to 15 seconds. I also did not know how often a baby or child is diagnosed, about 12,000 to 14,000 cases each year, with 25-30% of those children dying as a result of the trauma. Experts also believe that many more cases exist, but are not diagnosed because of the lack of external trauma to alert the parents or doctors.

The signs or shaken baby syndrome vary, which sometimes makes it hard for a parent, caregiver, or physician to find out the culprit and range from mild symptoms like irritability, tremors, vomiting, and lethargy (sounds like the flu, right?) to major symptoms like seizures, coma, stupor, or death. Please take your baby to the doctor even if there is a possibility they were shaken if they exhibit flu-like symptoms. SBS can cause long term disabilities, handicaps, learning disorders, behavioral problems, to severe problems like profound developmental and mental retardation, paralysis, blindness, the inability to eat or permanently being in a vegetative state.

If you suspect your baby has been shaken, a CT Scan or MRI can be ordered to rule out or confirm SBS; early diagnosis is important because it is proven children who suffer from SBS can make significant leaps and bounds with early intervention and physical therapy. It is also important to know that playing rough or short falls cannot cause enough damage to mimic the violent shaking motion that causes brain damage (http://www.dontshake.org/).

Anyone is capable of shaking a baby under pressure, even people who are well educated and well trained. However it is important to know the warning signs that may trigger someone to shake a baby. I found it interesting how often it is a man who is the culprit; one study found that the baby’s biological father was the shaker in 37 percent of the cases, and the mother’s boyfriend being the shaker in 21 percent of the cases.

Here are some guidelines from this website with valuable information about:

People who are at highest risk for shaking a baby are those who may have been abused as a child, may have problems with drugs, alcohol, depression, mental illness, or a poor support system.

And this website has some great coping skills, which include:

Coping skills that may help prevent child abuse include getting information about child development, health, which may help a parent or caregiver understand how to deal with crying and meet the baby or child’s needs. Parenting classes can be accessed through local hospitals, or Child and Family Services.

A support team is also important, friends, family, neighbors, all can offer advice or even a break when you are feeling overwhelmed is important.

Nap with your baby, or use that time to gather your bearings or relaxing so you feel refreshed when you baby wakes.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help; contact your support team, or if you are lacking a support team, call your local Child and Family Services, or Hospital to find resources, or counseling. Some towns even have a crisis nursery where you can take your child temporarily so you don’t become overwhelmed.

Babies use crying as their primary means of communication to tell you that they are hungry, tired, wet/soiled, lonely, scared, etc. Sometimes babies will cry for 15 minutes to an hour for no apparent reason at all. An average babies cried 1-5 hours each day for the first we months of life. At 6 weeks of age, crying may peak, and gradually lessen over time. Understand that colic, teething, stress, or illness can aggravate a baby and make the crying increase.

If you are feeling overwhelmed, call a friend or family member and ask them if they can come relieve you for a little while. Or put your baby in a safe place, like his/her crib and go to another room and take some steps to calm yourself. There are also hotlines you can call, like the ChildHelp hotline, 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) that you can call and discuss your feelings; sometimes just venting or having someone to listen can give you a new perspective.

If you shake your child, call 911 immediately. Sometimes the difference between a child living or suffering permanent injury, or death, is early assistance.

Please make sure you have a plan on how to cope with a crying baby, don’t be afraid to walk away if it means saving the life of a child. Also, never leave your baby with a caregiver when your caregiver is stressed or showing the warning signs above, or if your baby is under a lot of stress from colic, teething, or illness. And NEVER shake your child!!

In: Uncategorized | tags: Advocacy, Public Service Announcements. | #