I just mentioned how much easier it is to be a parent when you have no children, but how has your parenting styles changed as you add children to the family??
*Even though Austin is my oldest, and the first born child… he was added to the family when Christopher was two. So Christopher went from only child to middle child and he was my guinea pig; so this is why I am referring to Christopher often.
When Christopher was born I had strict ideals. I would not ever let him eat fast food, sugary snacks, he would have a strict bedtime routine, meal time, and I would explain everything before I said “no”. I also knew I would read to him daily and devote my full attention to his needs.
When Austin came to live with us, because he was only 16 months older and craved attention, routine, healthy foods, and thrived on a schedule, it was super simple to stick to my ideals. In fact, when I explained to him that candy was not a healthy snack and that fresh fruit and veggies tasted so much better and made our bodies feel good, he was very receptive to the change. One day we were at the store in the checkout isle and where normally he would have thrown a tantrum for it (with his mother) he looked at me and said “we don’t eat candy, it is not a healthy snack”. Another time, Austin, Christopher and I (plus either Bobby, or my friend Jennifer) were at the grocery store, and Asparagus was on sale so I bought two bunches. By the time I got to the counter, Austin and Christopher had eaten the entire second raw, in the store, just while shopping. Austin now LOVES his veggies, especially spinach, acorn squash, and broccoli.
When Matthew was born I wish I could say I was as good of a mom to him as I was to Austin and Christopher. As the older two get older I am more lax on things like junk food… not to say we eat a LOT, but before I did not allow it ever, now I get it occasionally. We also dine out a lot more, or eat convenience meals on Tuesday and Thursday when the older two have Tae-kwon-do lessons. So if I allow his brothers treats, I have to allow Matthew treats too. How DO you say no to one and yes to the others? I also think the time issue is a big factor I just don’t have the time to make Matthew the center of the Universe. I would say he is far from abused, or neglected, but I did learn that as my family grows, my heart will grown to accommodate, but I also need to remember that I will need to be more flexible.
So how have you changed since becoming a mom to more than one?? Do you think a large age gap contributes to the change?
1 Comment | In: A lot about nothing | tags: A lot about nothing, Austin, Christopher, Confessions, Matthew, Parenting. | #