“but the #1 most important job of a HB MW is not to catch the baby, but to know if a woman needs to be transferred to the hospital.”

Well once mine realized I was not able to push him out, she drove me to the nearest hospital, were they used the vacuumthing and in one push my son was born. And he was just perfect! Hospital wanted to keep us for TWO days, standard policy after a vacuumthing birthing. We thanked them for there help in the delivering, cause they were great when I arrived in labor. And I took my big healthy boy and went home. Pediatrician had to say he did not agree but he was not expecting us back! He could recognize a healthy baby when he saw one.

Well son nr. 2 was born two years later at home. Oldest son slept right through it all but was very happy to find he had a little brother.

Son nr. 3 was born 9 years later at home when my sons were 11 and 9 years old. I asked if they wanted to be there. Eldest choose not to, but second son wanted to be there. And he was.
That delivery was perfect. I started early in the evening and son nr. 3 was born at 20:25, midwife went home at about 22:45. wishing all her home deliveries were that fast and easy.

Reading your rant I am glad I don’t live in the states. No fun being pregnant there. I have to add my sons are now 21, 19 and 10, so my experience might be outdated. I had only one ultrasound, on the last day of my last pregnancy. Because, like yours my babies tend to stay in for the full 42 weeks and I had to go to the hospital for test. after test the gynecologist gave me one more day to deliver naturally. After that day I was to be induced. Thankfully I never had to go back, my son was born that evening.
I hope it will work out for you!

Not that I’d know anything about not getting sleep or anything…

WOW, that is suspicious. So glad you have less stress now!