Mistakes in Motherhood

Thanks to Darwin Barton

We live all the way up here in Minnesota and it’s been hard being away from my family. When we first moved in I got Internet Minnesota for the house because I wanted to be able to email and chat with my sisters like I always had and that’s the truth. I love being part of their lives and I didn’t want to miss anything just because I lived farther away so I did what I could to make sure I was taking things seriously. I love that there are so many ways to keep in touch but that doesn’t mean I don’t miss our weekly dinners at mom’s house – I miss being able to hug them and their children but I’m going to make sure I’m going down to visit as often as humanly possible. I love that there are so many holidays and occasions that warrant a visit but if you ask me there aren’t enough. I wish I could see them every single month but that’s just not in the

No Comments | In: A lot about nothing | tags: Sponsored, Technology. | #

Gah, anyone else dealing with the post holidays winter blues? I still have my tree up because it is my first live tree, and I can, but I think it will be going down soon and maybe I can shake this mood. Sheesh, with the kids back in school and Bobby back in Afghanistan, I am finding that the daily grind is really just getting to me lately. I am not one of those overboard decorate the house in November type people, and normally I look forward to January 2nd, but I think I was just overstimulated this year. LOL

So if you had any effect from post holiday blues, what did you do to shake the funk??

2 Comments | In: A lot about nothing | tags: Confessions, Holidays, Ramblings. | #

Posted by Gaylord Campbell

I do a lot of things really well. I am a fairly decent housekeeper, I am pretty good at my job, and I pay my bills on time. Know what I don’t do well? Remember to lock my front door. It is a legitimate problem, because no matter how safe your neighborhood is, leaving your front door open is just asking for trouble, really. The good news is I never forget to set my ADT TUCSON alarm. So although I am offering anyone the opportunity to just walk right in my door and steal every one of my worldly possessions, there will be a very loud alarm going off as they do so. I feel like it improves our odds at least a little bit. Kind of like I’m saying “Oh hey guys, come on in and take a look around!” but then when they do run in and try to rob us blind, the alarm starts blaring and the alarm company is called. It’s the best I can hope for at this point, because I know I’m not going to remember to lock the front door.

No Comments | In: A lot about nothing | tags: Sponsored. | #

For the last three days, I have been haunted by a dream. Not the events in the dream, but the house in the dream. It is not a house I recognize, it is not even a house I can picture myself in (it appears older, and run down). But for the last several years, I see this same house. Only the back yard, and very specific details. A converted unattached garage at the back left corner of the property, the garage has been converted to a mother in law apartment with access to an alley in the back, and into the yard on the side. It is a small studio with a bathroom, and kitchenette. On the very back of the property is a chain link fence, and a garden that spans the entire back of the property, but is only about 8 feet wide with a small rock path from the garage to the back yard. In front of the garden is another fenced in area, this one not as long, just as wide with a worn out wire fence. Half the yard is flat, then it inclines leading into a walk-out basement. On the main floor of the house there is a large deck, and one more floor above that. The house is blue, or green, and barren of any sort of foliage. I cannot tell what area this house is in, although it has green grass, so we can rule out Texas or Colorado. LOL

The dreams itself vary, and usually don’t stick with me, as much as this house. I have very briefly seen the inside, but it seems that the back yard is the most significant element. The last dream I had involved finding out the mother in law apartment had been broken into, and a mother, father, and toddler were living in there unbeknownst to us. We ended up finding out they were legal immigrants who could not make ends meet and had recently lost their home. We agreed to let them stay and furnished the home with stuff we had in the house, allowing them to stay rent free and feeding them meals, in exchange for help around the house in the evenings. I babysat the little boy for a few hours while they worked to get some money saved to get a place of their own. This part of the dream seemed sort of injected into a dream that focused mainly on the back yard. I just wish I knew what it meant.

1 Comment | In: A lot about nothing | tags: House Stuff, Me, Ramblings, Sleep Deprivation. | #

My girl can eat, I know this. At age 3, she’s a whopping 26 lbs, and size 18 month pants (2T shirts) so it is easy to assume she eats like a bird, but she can easily match what her 6 year old brother eats. This last week though, she has been in rare form, easily eating seconds or thirds at every meal. Today was no exception, the “I’m huuuuuuuu-ngry” started the moment she rolled out of bed at 6:30am. By 7am she had already had a bowl of cereal, a bagel, and a handful of dried fruit and nuts. At 8am to “I want a snack” chorus started. Every time I turned around “I’m hungry” and “I want a snack!”

Evey time she opened her mouth to whine, I slowly felt my sanity slipping away that I was clawing at to keep a small grasp on. But I pushed on, I knew I had to be productive. First I tried to find my wool shaver, Liam’s wool diaper was looking kind of pilly. I searched high and low and could not find it, so I moved on and started soaking some covers in the sink. While searching for the shaver, I gathered some other items I needed for knitting later today when I get a chance. I turned around and Sophie was holding a handful of stitch markers she had taken off with a week before. We had searched high and low, but they never turned up. All we had to do was look on top of my comforter, under the throw at the foot of my bed. Well duh, what an obvious place!

I knew all hell would break loose if I set foot in my kitchen, so by 10am I still had not had breakfast or a second cup of coffee. Even when I removed the cup of water she set on my laptop, I moved it to the kitchen table just so I would not have to hear her flip out if I walked by the fridge. However, now I was at an impasse, if I wanted to put away the stitch markers, I would have to go into the kitchen to put them back in the container. Again, not where I had it, and not where I would look, but unfortunately, there it was. True to form, she started her “I’m hungry” chant, so I figured if I was in for a penny I was in for a pound. I made another cup of coffee, and cut a slice of cake, yes, cake for breakfast. In my defense, I added walnuts to it last night and called it coffee cake, and coffee cake is breakfast cake, right?

I finally think my day is looking back up. Sophie is watching TV next to me, letting me write this. I will feed her an early lunch here in a couple minutes, I am hoping she will take a nap, or at least lay down, while Liam is down for his nap. I am hoping he gets a good nap, I had a hard time getting him down, Sophie would not leave my room as I was laying him in his crib. Scratch this, the garbage truck came to pick up my trash, and now he’s crying. I think I need more coffee and cake.

1 Comment | In: A lot about nothing | | #

I think the most frustrating job as a busy mom is keeping my carpets clean. With 5 kids, a big dog, 3 cats, and exposed dirt in the back yard, I feel like I am fighting an uphill battle. It never fails that within a week of sweating behind a carpet cleaner for several hours, someone will spill something, or dig in dirt and track it all over my floor.

Today I had to spot clean dirt tracked in from the dog, the 3 year old, red sauce in the dining room, and a mystery spot in the living room, all this within seven days of cleaning the entire upstairs. I am lucky though that I have a decent carpet cleaner, and a mini cleaner that I can do touch ups with. However, the very best cleaners in the world cannot help me when it comes to the task I have been putting off, cleaning my sofa and chairs.

Cleaning my sofas and chairs is a job that to me is ten thousand times worse than carpet cleaning, especially with my microfiber sofa and dining room chairs. They boast that they are easy to clean, which I agree, they release stains easily… however, I always feel like I am not doing a good enough job because I leave streaks and lines behind. My husband talked me into a light colored reclining sofa when we moved here 18 months ago, and it was probably the worse purchase I have ever made. Not only is it falling apart from all the moving parts, but it is white!? Need I say more? Any kind of water I get one this thing leaves water spots and it looks worse than it did before. I should probably invest in a visit from a professional cleaner, but part of me just wants to go buy a new couch, and leave my husband out of the decision making process.

Image courtesy of http://www.thesteamteam.com/ for upholstery cleaning services austin.

No Comments | In: A lot about nothing | | #

Liam has a bit of a summer cold, with a bit of a wheezy unproductive cough, so I figured a hot shower might do some good and moving some of his phlegm. All went well, until I laid him on my bed, turned to grab a diaper and said to him “do not pee on my bed”. I may as well have just given him a formal invitation to whiz on my bed, because sure enough, he crawled forward, and there was a nice big puddle on my sheets.

I forgot rule #1, you manifest what you ask for, and by telling him not to pee on my bed, the universe hear “pee on bed”, just like my sweet boy. Ever wonder why when you say “I am not going to throw up, I am not going to throw up” your body hears “time to puke?” The word “not” is just too complicated. Try telling your kids “do not wipe your hands on your pants”, do they grab a napkin? No way! The second you say that, their hands go right for their jeans and wipe peanut butter all over their lap. Next time, say “napkin please!” and hand them a napkin. I bet they will spare their pants.

The word “not” goes missing in a lot of things in life (and any negative statement for that reason). Pay your bills, buy groceries and fill your car up with gas, tell yourself “I am so broke” when you have only a couple hundred dollars in the account, and an unexpected expense will come up. Some say “that is so ironic”, it is not irony, it is you communicating what you want. Just like you teach others how to treat you, you teach the universe how to treat you.

I use the word “universe” here, but it may mean many things. The creator, God, fate, your body, destiny, etc., it really just depends on your belief of how things work. Really watch your self-speak for a week or so, and see how you manifest your own destiny. Tell a friend “my brother is coming for a visit, he’s such a pain in the neck”. The day of his visit, you wake up with a stiff neck… wonder why? You told your body to manifest the stress you are feeling over his visit literally.

Back to Liam peeing on my bed. In the end, his action was a positive one, as I was stripping my bed grumbling about them needing washed, I noticed some clean sheets I had folded and laid out at the foot of my bed last week. I had planned on putting clean sheets on my bed, but then never got around to it. This was just another way I was being nudged to do the right thing and be productive.

No Comments | In: A lot about nothing | | #

This weekend, I had a fabulous time in Portland with the kiddos. We went for a fabulous baby shower, and got to take in the sights while I was there. The one downside, is I could not bring my new lover. His name is Keurig, and he brings a fire to my belly and a glow to my soul. If you have never met Keurig, mi amour, here is a picture:

Seriously. BEST mother’s day gift EVER. I tease my husband he got me addicted to coffee to get me to quit harping on him for his cigar addiction. Well dangit, it worked.

While in Portland, I missed my new lover so much. I walked by many Starbucks and City Coffees, which were just teases because it wasn’t even 7pm and they were CLOSED! I could make a cup or two in my room, but the taste was not as good as my Tully’s or Wolfgang Puck flavors. In a sample pack I got some Chef’s Reserve Colombian Decaf and I was thinking “decaf?! Why in the hell would I want THAT?!?” Well, around 10pm I was jonsing for a good cup o joe, I had some convenience store brew on the way home that was just not that lovely, and then got busy with unpacking, kids, and laundry, so when that craving hit I almost cried when I saw how late it was until I spun my little k-cup carousel and saw my petite little k-cup-o-decaf. *swoon*

Not only is it heaven in my mouth, but it shouldn’t prevent me from melting into my bed. Ohhhh how I missed my bed. The hotel beds were fantastic, but how wonderful can they be when the baby is co-sleeping and figured he can have around the clock access to the breast he normally does not demand 3 feet away from me in his crib and a 3 year old kicking me.

However, the apple who tried to fill my craving for a doughnut…. while I do give it an A for effort for trying, gets an F for completion.

4 Comments | In: A lot about nothing | tags: Domestic Diva, Silliness, Vacations. | #

Nothing like purchases on the bank statement that you do not recognize to get your mind spinning and your pulse racing. I had two such charges tonight and they almost made me panic and get my free credit score. I knew they were probably something I could easily explain, especially with me traveling and spending at new places, but it got me thinking of the steps I would take if I really did have suspicious charges on your bank register:

• Look at the date of purchase and try to remember what you were doing that day. What did you eat? Where did you go? Who were you with? Remember, some times there is a delay, so try to think of the 1-3 days before the purchase date, especially on weekends.
• Google the name or better yet, if they provide an address you can almost guarantee google maps will jog your memory. I remember in Colorado Springs “SDI” would throw me off when I saw it on my bank statement. A quick google of SDI helped me remember the half priced drinks I had gotten that week for happy hour at Sonic Drive-In.
• Check your pockets/purse/wallet for receipts. Pending totals may differ from actual totals, especially for gas stations, hotels, or places with gratuity. You may remember spending $24 on a haircut, but the total may be pending as $19 if you left a $5 tip.
• If your bank provides a category, you may be able to narrow down what you were doing if/when you made the purchase.
• If you have a joint account, check with your spouse.
• If you shop online, scan your inbox, sometimes there is a delay in billing and if you ordered something days ago, but it is just now being shipped, there may be a phantom charge you don’t recognize.
• Call your bank, they can see phone numbers an addresses you may not be privy to on your end. They can also transfer you to their fraud unit if they deem the charges suspicious.
• If the fraud unit deems your account breached, they will freeze your account activity, cancel your card, and reissue you a new one.
• Follow up with the three major credit reporting bureaus to make sure nothing unusual shows up on your credit report to lower you credit score.

Thankfully, I was able to hunt down my recent receipts in my purse, and the mystery of the two phantom purchases were solved. 99.9% of the time it is an innocent mistake of forgetfulness, but it is nice to have an emergency plan in place on how to handle mystery charges.

No Comments | In: A lot about nothing | tags: Finances, Sponsored. | #

I ended up throwing in the towel half way into day 8. However, I made it the whole 7 days, and I felt fine conceding. I decided to put little boy back into pockets because he had a stealth-poo and took a long nap, and when he woke up, his little bits were pretty angry. I tossed my flats in and covers in the washer and I feel pretty darn proud of myself. When I was folding laundry tonight I was able to get a better grip on how many flats, wipes and covers I ended up using.

• 5 covers, 4 Thirsties v2, size small, $6.50 from Diaper Swappers, and 1 Fab Fitted, print, $13.25. Total $39.25
• 16 Target Flour Sack Towels, $1 each, 3 birdseye Flats, $1.80 each, 2 preemie prefolds, .80 each. Total $23
• 1 snappi $4, 15 wipes $3 (repurposed, torn blankets, and baby washcloths). Homer camp style Wash Bucket, $7. Total $14

So for $76.25, I was able to cloth diaper my baby, with the right supplies, for life!

The good: Flats were surprisingly easy! Folding was not as complicated or time consuming as I assumed. We had 3 leaks in 8 days, so they are very absorbent. I had no problem changing a diaper at 6am while half asleep with a wiggly baby. Being a geographically single mom with 4 other kids did not complicate it. My flats are SO forgiving, they are still beautiful white, soft, and smell like cotton. One of my covers got a little stained, but nothing that will effect wear. I love how trim they are, and how small they will fold into my suitcase when we travel. Line drying was so simple, and even on an overcast cool slightly breezy day, clothesline flats and covers dried much faster than inside hung diapers. Overnight is the perfect amount of time for indoor drying.

The bad: I will not lie, hand washing was hard. It was time consuming, tiring, and I really missed my washer and dryer at the end. In a real life situation I would probably have a larger quantity of diapers, and covers on hand. I would probably also try to borrow a washer a few times a week. I also would use a better plunger, my wood handled plunger ended up flaking paint onto my diapers. I also was not impressed on how much water it took to get my diapers clean.

The ugly: My hands are pretty calloused, my shoulders hurt the first part of the week, and my nerves were shot at the end by trying to wash quickly while the baby was napping, or folding flats off the line one handed with baby in arms. Liam was less than patient at times, and there were washes where I would get the baby calmed, run, agitate two minutes, comfort a baby again, plunge some more.

What I would do/do different: Like I said, I better handle for a plunger was necessary. My adjustable shower head that can adjust to a single jet was a lifesaver. A wet pail where it could not pose a drowning risk was so helpful. Hangers and clothespins to hang diapers from worked out so well. Line drying even when chilly and overcast pays off. A sense of humor was mandatory, as well as a healthy dose of determination. Splashing was almost guaranteed, wearing pajamas that I was going to change out of with pants rolled up worked well. I may have looked for a faster drying cover, I look forward to an Econobum coming in the mail, I hear they dry well. NEVER underestimate the power of the sun, instant whitener and stain lifter!

The best thing about this challenge was my confidence in myself, the amazing sense of community I gained, and the information gathered that I could not help but tell everyone about! In the forums, I repeatedly told people to try flats and come look at my blog. In Target, I stopped a young couple who were cloth diapering their baby and struggling with the start up cost and gave them a primer on flat use. And to my mom, who was probably ready for me to shut up already on cloth diapers in general.

What I am going to do next: Because I know I have all these new flats that I enjoy using, I am going to start de-stashing. I already got rid of quite a few older diapers. Next going will be newborn diapers split between 2 families, and then all my girly diapers to a friend north of me. After that? Who knows. Maybe I will find a family to sponsor with a primer guide as well as a half dozen flats and a cover?

Thank you Kim, at Dirty Diaper Laundry for taking us with you on what you described as Diaper Boot Camp. I feel like a much stronger warrior now, and I will continue to fight for the cause; for healthy bottoms, healthy budgets, and a healthy planet!

No Comments | In: A lot about nothing | tags: Cloth Diapers, Domestic Diva, Liam, Parenting, Updates. | #