Last night, I was getting the house closed up for the night, and as I was walking Sophie to her bed, I noticed Matthew’s light was on. Normally I just reach in and turn off the switch, he cries and goes to sleep. Last night though, I felt the need to go into his room and look at him, good thing too… he was crying before I could turn off the light because somehow he managed to get his head stuck under his toddler bed. Not sure why Bobby did not hear him from his office (the next room over), but I could not hear him from the downstairs, so he either just got stuck, or was not being loud.
Austin is pretty innocent, he is not the kind of kid to use words he does not know, and does not swear (in our presence at least, I am pretty sure he does around his friends since he is at that age), and one of the deals I made with him is if he ever hears a word he thinks might be bad, I will tell him the meaning and if it is appropriate to use… so today my kiddo comes to me and asks if a word he heard at school was OK, or a bad word. I ask him what the word is and he says “douche bag”… now let me tell you, being put on the spot like that, I kind of panicked. LOL So I said, that word is not something you use, and it is a bad word, thank you for asking first. When I told Bobby he said “well, did you tell him WHAT it meant?” and I said I had not, and he was welcome to… I told Austin to go ask his dad what it meant if he wanted to know… Austin walked into the office and Bobby said if you don’t want to know the meaning, just leave now, otherwise I will tell you but its gross. He spun on his heels and almost RAN away…LOL I was about his age when I learned about said feminine hygiene product, and it was pretty gross to me, and I am a female… poor kid might be traumatized for life had he found the meaning.
The other day I first heard the term “Free Range Kids“, and when I started reading more about what raising a free range child is about, the more I got it. DH and I always joke how different things were when we were children. His mom used to send him a few blocks away to play in the 3rd largest river in the US (Columbia River) where he and his buddies would shoot at each other with their BB guns (no one shot their eye out), or rode bikes down hills too steep for cars to drive up in the winter with a friend on the handlebar.
We have friends whose 10 year old has never ridden a bike out of fear. In my hometown Tag has been prohibited at the school, all because of fear of safety for the kids. Puh-lease! What ever happened to kids learning natural consequences? Why do they need full body armor to go out and play in the back yard (heaven forbid they set foot in the front yard without at least two, armed, secret service agents). Heck, when I was a kid, my parents would not even know if I had been abducted until at least 20 minutes after the street lights went on. And what the hell is up with ‘play dates’?? Are parents now days so over scheduled that they have to pencil in little Johnny’s play time between pee-wee soccer and his gymnastics class? That is what I love about this neighborhood, if a child wants to play with my kids… they knock on the door and ask if they can come out and play…. get this, WITHOUT their parents hovering behind them making sure their 10 year old can walk a block away without being stolen.
Now I am not saying we should air drop our children over a South American jungle with two quarters and a rubber band and expect them to MacGyver their way home, but seriously, don’t you think our kids should get to share memories of skinned knees, chasing the ice cream truck, drinking from the hose, building forts in the woods, walking to the supermarket with a dollar to buy candy or soda, climbing trees, skipping rocks and wading in the creek, and snowball fights?
Now I am not criticizing anyone else, you parent your child the way you see fit, but I found letting go works for us, as long as my child shows they are mature and capable of making reasonable decisions. At the park, I have no problem watching Austin climbing a tree 10 feet in the air, or walking to the convenience store to buy treats for his brothers. When I was in labor with Sophie, I mentioned Christopher broke his arm on his scooter. He was so proud of his injury, just like he is of his appendectomy scar. When Matthew falls down we tell him to “get up and do it again”. We still kiss his owies when he hurts himself, but we don’t act like the world is going to end if he draws blood when he falls down.
Someday, I hope my kids can look back and tell their own kids how much fun they had when they were kids, and all the risks they took and adventures they created.
The other day I was grocery shopping and I overheard a middle age woman comment to a young mother with a large family “you know what causes that, right?” I should have said something, I felt bad for the mom who seemed taken aback by the comment. I did not understand why the older woman felt like sticking her nose into the mother’s business.
All 5 of the young children were healthy, clean, well mannered and the mom, though still being frugal about it, made her purchases with cash, not WIC or a state issued food assistance card. I don’t think the mom had these children because she was too stupid for birth control, they seemed naturally spaced, the youngest child contently nursed from his mother’s breast while being worn in the sling… Oh my, nursing in PUBLIC?? What would the older woman say if she noticed that??
This got me thinking to inappropriate comments I have received, specifically referring to my three sons. I can’t tell you how many times I am asked if I plan on trying for a girl… when did boys become the consultation prize? Did G-d put a child into my womb and say “Sorry, you did not win the prize this time, but take what is behind door number two so you won’t be sent home empty handed”. My usual response is that if we decide to have another it will be to have another baby, not play Russian roulette and only want one specific gender. The most offensive was when I was pregnant, the cashier asked if I knew the gender of the baby (as she is scanning 100% blue clothes, blankets, etc) and when she heard it was another boy she looked at my other two sons and said “Are you guys sad you are having a brother? I mean sisters are so much better, wouldn’t you rather have a sister?” Yeah, because *I* was the one who chose their genders, but come on! My oldest son was hoping for a brother, but my middle son was licking his wounds from being wrong on his guess and at the time was hoping for a sister. Anyways, I digress.
When did society think that the store was an appropriate place to lecture someone about reproduction? Obviously the young mom had read page one of a parenting book if she knew her kids needed to eat. I know people who are not that sophisticated. Also, it is not like this mom was at the drive through window with grubby kids screaming for a soda pop and fried chicken nuggets. If the store was the place to lecture parents on birth control, wouldn’t you think Planned Parenthood would have rented a pagoda at the front of the store? Maybe the wife could look over to her husband and say “honey, can you go pick up paper towels, and while you are on isle 7 get that vasectomy we have been wanting?”
To the woman at the grocery store.. please save your breath, find another medium for your cause. Volunteer at the woman’s shelter, help families in crisis, send an article into the newspaper about the importance of reducing your carbon footprint, or help raise money for a family who has an ailing family member and needs money to pay for cancer treatment. I don’t believe you said what you did out of malice, but it was in bad taste and only served to annoy the mother and other patrons in the store. Cut the mother some slack, her 5 kids were so much better than a lot of families I see with only one child. If you want to see some bad kids, go shop at Walmart, you will be running for the pharmacy section and popping headache medicine faster than you can say “wear a condom”.
To everyone else, think twice before you make “harmless” comments to mothers, our hearts are fragile from countless sleepless nights, an infinite number of kissed boo-boos and “I love you’s”. We have to deal with our children’s tears of disappointment when they don’t get what they want, lose their best friend, break up with their first crush, and get teased by the neighborhood bully.
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Now playing: John Mayer - Dreaming with a Broken Heart
via FoxyTunes
My oldest son has been accepted into a GREAT charter school for 6th grade (middle school). We are all very excited, and as an honor roll student for the last 2 years we have no concerns about his progression.
This brings me to my middle son. I applied for Christopher to be in two charter schools and he is #50 on the waiting list for the one, and I will know in 3 weeks where he is on the list for the other school. I am normally against homeschooling, but I am also against my child getting C’s because in group time he is doing his work all by himself or in literacy he is doing the work on his own instead of following along on the board. (He actually got cards pulled and a call home because he read the instructions and did the paper on his own instead of doing it along with the class and disregarding the instructions since they were doing the worksheet differently). He is also highly emotional and will cry in class if he gets frustrated and has lost recess for it. His teacher for first and second grade was not the greatest, and he got good marks except for in behavior. His third grade teacher was excellent, but he got mostly C’s because of behavior.
So with all that said, I think it is apparent keeping him in his current school for 4th grade is our last choice.
Our first choice is to get him into one of two charter schools.
We are on the fence about homeschooling him, or enrolling him in a virtual charter school (he would be schooled at home, but not “home schooled” as he would still be considered a public school student).
We still have a lot of decision making as I feel Christoper, who is already socially delayed, needs social interactions. I also do not have a degree in education and am not qualified to teach. I also know this would require a ton of patience and time management on my part. However on the flip side, no one knows my child as well as I do. My son is NOT doing well where he is now, and I will not force him into group work or make him sit in the same little desk all day long. I think kids need to be outside and run and play in order to work hard… and where a teacher would not be able to tell a frustrated student to go take a run, a homeschooling mom can tell her child to go take a run or to go outside and play, or offer a snack when she sees the child is getting overwhelmed.
Anyways, I am about 60% convinced. My husband is about 40% convinced, but we are both in agreement something has to change. PRAY he gets accepted into the charter school PLEASE!!
I am not a grammar snob by any means and my spelling and grammar is far from perfect, but I REALLY hate when people say ax instead of ask. In the video below a teacher is getting heat for teaching seminars on anti-slang language usage in high school and college students. The reason why people are upset? He is African American and targeting young black youth whom he says are most at risk for speaking incorrectly. I don’t get it though, what is wrong with someone trying to rescue children of their own race and help them succeed in the workforce?
You must read this! I am just dumbfounded.
Horrendous isn’t it?
I am so angry about all these commercials I have seen for tonight’s episode of Supernanny. I boycotted the show after an episode where the mom was berated for co-sleeping with her children and her babies were forced into their own rooms while mom cried, the babies cried, and the father was distraught to see his family in tears. The mom finally snuck the babies back into her bed while the nanny fumed and belittled the mother on camera, and the parents and children got a good night’s sleep.
Well, tonight they are taking on the issue of extended breast-feeding. So, you must be thinking this “child” must be 6 or 7, right? Noooo, this baby is only 14 months old, and the nanny wished to rip this precious little one off her mama and “give her a bottle” as the announcer says. What kind of idiotic advice is that??? Anyone who is familiar with the AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) or the WHO (Wold Health Organization) knows that the bottle should not be used after 1 year of age, and breastfeeding should continue as long as mutually desirable, but beyond 12 months. In fact, I will go farther and suggest nursing to age 2 or 3 and letting the child decide when s/he wishes to stop.
Matthew is 2 now, and he still asks for “boo” between 3 times a day, to as little as every other day. If anyone told me to wean him (like my old doctor, with an emphasis on OLD) I would educate them, laugh in their face, ignore them, or in the case of my old doctor, fire them. This whole thing has really left a bad taste in my mouth and has reaffirmed my decision to quit watching this show for it’s poor advice towards mothers of babies and toddlers. I thought she had great suggestions for older children, but her backwards views and anti-Attachment Parenting styles for younger children have done nothing but infuriate me and make me doubt any other advice she gives.
So mamas, hold you babies close, and keep the love flowing, your little ones will continue to benefit from your milk, comfort, and love.
I was surfing the archives over at BloggingBaby.com and read about a controversial study stating that babies born before 22 weeks gestation should not be given any type of intensive care, or be revived. At first glance I thought that sounded horrible, but in all honesty, shouldn’t babies have the dignity to pass in peace? When I was in Texas, my final paper for my nursing class was on the ethics of keeping a micro-preemie alive just because it was of a certain weight despite the parents’ wishes. I think it is wrong to have a policy that says “all babies over 10oz MUST be put on life support despite the parents wishes”.
Why should hospital policy trump a parent’s wishes when it is the who will be responsible for lifelong care? At 23 weeks, the chance of survival is only about 17% with a VERY high likelihood of severe physical and mental problems according to this website taken from a study done in 1997.
From 2003-2004 I worked with developmentally disabled adults ranging from mild to severe. I have to say my heart goes out to the families who have to place their child in a home because they were getting ready close to the end of their life and had no one to care for their 65 year old child with severe delays. I saw the state placing these beautiful people in abusive homes where they were neglected and not cared for (imagine 75 years in ‘foster care’). I saw nieces choosing not to have families because they had to care for their aunt who is abusive to children.
I have to say I agree with the UK’s decision to not take extraordinary measures for a 22 week micro-preemie. I also think that parents should have a say what the level of care should be for a baby born before 28 weeks without legal ramification. Nothing cruel, but I think the parent should have the right to chose a DNR or no respirator. What are your opinions??
DISCLAIMER: Just remember, these are just my opinions and any hateful coments will be deleted, but I welcome any contructive comments or arguments. I have never had a child born before 40 weeks so I don’t know what it is like in your shoes, and I really feel for anyone who has been through it before.
