Sophie had her follow up derm appointment, she had the ANA antibodies too, so her official diagnosis is neonatal lupus. Her pediatrician checked her out on Friday and is referring her to a pediatric rheumatologist (arthritis dr, since Lupus (SLE) is a connective joint disease) and a pediatric cardiologist (heart doctor, neonatal lupus can cause heart problems). Her ped assured me that neonatal lupus will not stay with her past infant-hood, and she won’t have any issues when she becomes a mother.

I have an appointment with my primary care provider on Tuesday to discuss my own labs and see if she feels I need a referral for more testing.

Then on Thursday I needed to go back to my GYNs office… my IUD was coming out after only two weeks…my body was rejecting it. Crap, so much for 10 year birth control. She put another one in, but I already feel like it too is being rejected… if that happens I don’t know WHAT we will do since any other method that I tolerate is contraindicated with breastfeeding. Please oh PLEASE let my little copper friend stick around this time!

Also on Friday I asked Bobby to look up his tracking for his books that showed they were out for delivery here in town for the last 3 days. Turns out the books decided to take an unscheduled visit to Tennessee. Last reports say it is back here in the state and will hopefully arrive Monday or Tuesday so Bobby can have them for the classes that started last week.

Trick or treating was fun, I wish I had taken pictures, but the “shop from home” ToT challenge was a success. Matthew wore a Hawaiian shirt, floppy hat, sunglasses and a camera and was the cutest “tourist” ever, he got so much candy. Christopher was Harry Potter, and looked so cute, Austin was a reaper, and Sophie was a little pink bear thanks to a little snowsuit Aunt Angie sent her.

Christopher turned 11 yesterday too, I can’t believe 11 years ago I was a mama for the first time… He was such a good baby, he rarely complained about anything.

Miss Sophie was up until 3am last night, I am so tired!

For the last week, we have fluctuated between needing windows open during the day, to actually needing the furnace on at night. We keep our house pretty cool at night and then all have heavy blankets, so it was time to dig out the down comforter and wash the duvet. I also washed the curtains, since they are red like the duvet and gave the room a nice vacuuming and airing out while it is warm enough to have windows open during the day. It actually snowed the other night, but it did not stick.

I baked a chicken last night, and saved the juices and bones and a breast so I could make chicken and dumplings today. This is a comfort meal that totally brings back great childhood memories. I had some carrots and celery that I tossed in, I would have added an onion had I had any on hand. It turned out well despite worries that I had burned the base ingredients… all I can say is THANK YOU super thick pots and pans. I totally needed a nice comfortable meal tonight. More about that when I can gather my thoughts and words for the next post.

PS. Don’t forget to replace your furnace filters! We did that last week and it was so furry that it looked like a third dog and a couple more cats, flattened and formed into the shape of a filter.

The other day I first heard the term “Free Range Kids“, and when I started reading more about what raising a free range child is about, the more I got it. DH and I always joke how different things were when we were children. His mom used to send him a few blocks away to play in the 3rd largest river in the US (Columbia River) where he and his buddies would shoot at each other with their BB guns (no one shot their eye out), or rode bikes down hills too steep for cars to drive up in the winter with a friend on the handlebar.

We have friends whose 10 year old has never ridden a bike out of fear. In my hometown Tag has been prohibited at the school, all because of fear of safety for the kids. Puh-lease! What ever happened to kids learning natural consequences? Why do they need full body armor to go out and play in the back yard (heaven forbid they set foot in the front yard without at least two, armed, secret service agents). Heck, when I was a kid, my parents would not even know if I had been abducted until at least 20 minutes after the street lights went on. And what the hell is up with ‘play dates’?? Are parents now days so over scheduled that they have to pencil in little Johnny’s play time between pee-wee soccer and his gymnastics class? That is what I love about this neighborhood, if a child wants to play with my kids… they knock on the door and ask if they can come out and play…. get this, WITHOUT their parents hovering behind them making sure their 10 year old can walk a block away without being stolen.

Now I am not saying we should air drop our children over a South American jungle with two quarters and a rubber band and expect them to MacGyver their way home, but seriously, don’t you think our kids should get to share memories of skinned knees, chasing the ice cream truck, drinking from the hose, building forts in the woods, walking to the supermarket with a dollar to buy candy or soda, climbing trees, skipping rocks and wading in the creek, and snowball fights?

Now I am not criticizing anyone else, you parent your child the way you see fit, but I found letting go works for us, as long as my child shows they are mature and capable of making reasonable decisions. At the park, I have no problem watching Austin climbing a tree 10 feet in the air, or walking to the convenience store to buy treats for his brothers. When I was in labor with Sophie, I mentioned Christopher broke his arm on his scooter. He was so proud of his injury, just like he is of his appendectomy scar. When Matthew falls down we tell him to “get up and do it again”. We still kiss his owies when he hurts himself, but we don’t act like the world is going to end if he draws blood when he falls down.

Someday, I hope my kids can look back and tell their own kids how much fun they had when they were kids, and all the risks they took and adventures they created.

Let me start this by admitting that Sophie is a princess… of all my babies, she is by far my most demanding. Most days, I won’t even admit that to myself as it does not change how much I adore her, nor would I want to change anything about her. This little diva seems to have needs that are above Maslow’s Hierarchy and even when she is fed, dry, held, rocked, etc.; she still seems to have some unfulfilled needs we just cannot meet. Bobby and I have both accepted that and just do our best to comfort her, because we know this too shall pass.

Today I was slacking in the patience department. Sophie wanted to nap on my lap, I wanted to get something to eat since it was 1pm and I had not yet been able to get a thing to eat or drink… I was starting to feel shaky and irritated… I set Sophie down on her sheep skin hoping she would stay asleep, with no avail, so I just ate as quickly as possible while rocking the chair she was in. At the same time, Matthew is yelling at me because he was on meal #3 and wanted more… I kept telling him to come here so I could hear him, and he just kept hollering from across the room. I could almost feel my blood pressure rising. In a weak moment I yelled out “everybody STOP!!” No surprise that my tantrum only made things worse and I felt like I was going to collapse under all the weight on my shoulders.

I looked up and I said “Lord help me, I need a break!” and the most incredible thing happened… I smelled roses. No, I did not stop and smell the roses… I literally smelled the fragrance of roses, a smell I would recognize even 20 years later… it was the fragrance of my grandma Josie. My house that moments before smelled like pre-teen boys, cats, dogs, diapers, and lunch, now just smelled like roses. I picked up Sophie and it almost seemed to be coming out of her pores. She stopped crying and smiled and in my head I could almost hear my grandma saying “Dinky-Dinky Doo-Doo”, a little game she played with all of us when we were babies. The smell of roses was still all around me and I felt her love all around me. I no longer felt like I was alone to carry the burden and that she was here to help. You cannot imagine how strong it made me feel to know that any time I was in need, I can know I am truly never alone.

I write this while holding a baby and a preschooler on my lap, with tears welling up in my eyes. I would not have believed it if I did not experience it myself, but I now believe that even after we lose a loved one, they are never truly gone and just when things seem to be at their lowest, you can call out for help and they will be there to pick you up when you are in need.

Miss Sophie got to wear the onsie that was passed from Christopher to Matthew to her. This was the very first baby gift I received and [start geekyness] it was given to me by the Sysop of the BBS I had been a member of for 3? 4? maybe even 5? years of my life at that time. [/end geekyness]

Sophie was called a boy at Best Buy today… I told myself after 3 boys, if I ever had a daughter she would never leave doubt in anyone’s mind as to her gender. Oops!

This morning, Sabin was a furry door mat, this is how I found him when I opened my bedroom door:

When I got up, my house was 78 degrees! Why? Because Matthew decided to turn the thermostat up and then move the button over to heat! HOLY HECK it was hot! I think he was trying to prepare my friend Julia for 100 degree heat for her trip back home to Vegas. We were very sad to see her go.

The song I am listening to, in the signature today and the blog title fits today perfectly. I wish I had my camera on me, I would love to share the experience. Maybe today when I get Austin to school I will take my camera and pull to the side of the road and take a picture.

In December, Officer Ken Jordan was killed in the line of duty just blocks from my home while trying to apprehend a suspected drunk driver. The driver decided he did not want another DUI and shot and killed the officer in cold blood. For weeks the bridge he was shot was decorated with flowers, candles, cards, stuffed animals, and frequently visited by his fellow comrades. Every time I would pass that site, I would cry.

Well, I guess today was his birthday, because as I drove by this afternoon I saw a beautiful bouquet of roses, a bunch of balloons and a huge birthday card. I grew up around our men and women in blue; my father worked for the county and we frequently visited the court house and I remember often him introducing me to this officer or that officer and I also got to tour the local juvenile facility and getting to ride in police cars. We all grew up with a huge respect for the law and for police officers.

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In an unrelated note, my house smells like a cat box. My cat started inappropriately urinating on the dog bed, the cat beds, etc. I though he was just expressing himself in a negative way, until I noticed he was visiting the cat box every few minutes and staying there for long stretches of time with limited results. This made me almost positive it was a urinary problem of some sort and I immediately called the vet and requested a drop-off appointment. They will call me when he’s done and the kids and I will be busy cleaning today and tomorrow. I could not find my cat carrier, so he had to ride on my lap with a leash & collar and in the 10 minutes while he was in the car managed to pee on my leg. He had peed in the cat bed right before we left too.

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General Matthew Cuteness:

Daddy was changing Matthew and he pulled a big old booger out of his nose, sticks the finger with the booger out at daddy and said “Here Dad, for you”.

~

Matthew likes to make himself burp, especially after he gets a drink, today after finishing my water he makes himself burp and it’s strained and really gross sounding and he said “Mmmmm, Juicy!” I am almost positive he was referring to the sound, not the taste as he had not had anything fruity to eat yet.

He is such a boy!!

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Forgot to mention, Austin has his first school dance today ::Sniff, Sniff:: My baby is growing up!!

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Now playing: Blind Faith - Had To Cry Today
via FoxyTunes

Last night I booked one way airline tickets for Austin and Christopher to go to my mother’s house. A few weeks later Bobby, Matthew and I will drive up and meet them, spend some time with my friends and family, and after our traditional “Cookie Reunion” as my little nephew used to call them, all five of us will drive home. This will be the first time in 10 years that my husband has been able to attend and I am really excited for him to meet my extended family and share in a tradition that spans over a decade and continued even after the loss of a beloved Aunt.

My mom calls this reunion the “Sister Reunion” because originally it was organized by the sisters as a way for them to gather all their families at a campground for a long weekend and spend time together catching up, eating, and playing games. In time the families have grown and the sisters became grandparents and along came their children with children of their own and the fun multiplied. When Joanne passed, we still included her widower and now he brings his new wife because in our hearts he is still family. On the final day Joanne used to make a large lunch of gluten steaks (a wonderful vegetarian patty) and cookies and juice and I remember eating so many gluten steaks I would feel sick. Now my Aunt Mary makes the gluten steaks and my sister Autumn makes the cookies and the grandchildren of the sisters now ride their bikes through the woods to the lake instead of toddling at the feet of their parents.

You cannot imagine how much joy it brings to me to be able to attend this year, and to share this experience with my husband. My children love late night S’mores, mid-day trail rides, all the cookies you can shove in your pockets, and sharing childhood experiences through the generations.

When I was a little girl, I loved spending summers with my grandparents, a tradition I am keeping alive with my own children. My Grandma Josie lived on a farm, and many of my memories revolve around her love of gardening and the outdoors. I remember being fascinated by her Rain Gauges, that sat on the corner of the property. I never understood why these little simple tubes held my curiosity so much, but as I look through garden supply stores at rain gauges, I think back to happier times, when I still had my grandma, and the memories we shared. And I can almost smell her house, and how fresh and clean it all felt there after the rain.