I knew I wanted this birth to be different. I wanted to fulfill my longtime dream of a home birth, but financially a hospital birth was more reasonable. However, after being dissatisfied with my first two midwives, and then having little issues come up with my third midwife, who then told me she was not delivering after April, I decided it was time to listen to my heart and follow my desires. A chance conversation on MDC (Mothering Dot Commune) with a local woman inspired me to start searching again for homebirth midwives for the third time, this time I spoke to Jan Eklund, whom I could tell had a great passion for midwifery and was willing to work with us financially.

Once I was at ease with my decision I informed my family, who were very uncomfortable with my decision, however they were able to put their own feelings aside to support me. My mom even decided to fly in during my 40th week of pregnancy in hopes of being here for the birth.

My due date, May 30th, came and went without more than Braxton Hicks. The 31st my mom flew in from Washington. On the 1st, my husband, kids and I packed a large picnic and ate it at a local park. That night at 7 pm I started having contractions 8 minutes apart lasting 3 minutes long and needing to be concentrated through. They continued all through the night slowing around 2 am and stopping at 4 am.

I was frustrated and Bobby and I were both exhausted from lack of sleep, so he took the day off from work to stay home with me (June 2nd). Austin and Christopher were acting wild and we were all tired, so I sent them outside to play on their scooter and bike so they would burn off some energy while Bobby and I tried to recover ours. Shortly after leaving, Christopher came in crying, he had fallen off his scooter and we decided it probably needed x-rayed so my mom and I took him to urgent care to get it looked at, sure enough it was broken and he needed to see the orthopedic specialist the next day to see if it needed a cast.

Tuesday morning, I woke up at 7 am no longer able to ignore the contractions that had been waking me in the night. Before he left for work, Bobby told me I had been groaning all night and he would reach over and feel my stomach and it would be hard. I called my midwife Jan and my doula Candace to let them know I may be in pre-labor. The contractions were stronger than the ones on Sunday, but irregular. I took a nap after lunch and they really started to intensify, to the point where I sent my mom and son off to the Ortho with my insurance card and a note because I did not think I would do well at the appointment.

Around 8 pm, on the 3rd, Jan called me to ask how I was doing because she was getting ready for bed and wanted to know if she should expect a call in the night or not, and after talking we decided she would come over just to check on me since I had canceled our appointment earlier that day. When she checked my progress, she said I was 4-5 cm dilated and 95% effaced and wanted to camp out because she felt this was the real deal.

I went ahead and called Candace and she called Kim, who was going to be my second doula, and they arrived around 10 pm. Once everyone got here, my contractions responded and started getting much stronger; however, they were in my back and required a lot of rubbing and counter pressure. Candace and Kim helped me find different positions to labor in and helped me with stair walking activities to make sure my baby was in a good position.

They also rubbed my back with the contractions and my feet and shoulders between them. Around midnight, the pressure was getting more intense so I asked if I could get in the tub, so Jan checked me again and told me I had not made a lot of progress, but she could probably stretch me to 7cm and I was ok to try laboring in the tub.

Once she stretched me, the contractions started coming a lot faster so the water of the birthing tub was heavenly. My contractions slowed and I was able to rest between them, but when they came on they were extremely intense and in my back. I was trying very hard to remain calm, but inside I was starting to feel panicky. Halfway into each of the rushes, I started grunting and pushing a little, but I still was not feeling the urge to push, I just wanted to vocalize and express the sensations I was feeling.

I remember hearing one of my doulas ask Jan if I was complete, she was in the tub with me, and I heard her say “don’t worry; she will push when she is ready”. Hearing these words gave me hope that I may be near the end. The back labor was like nothing I have ever felt before, I did not have the urge to push, yet my body was pushing the baby down and my support team was telling me to push through the sensations and it would feel better. I was feeling frustrated that I was doing all this work and nothing was happening, and the power I was feeling was very intense. I was roaring like a lion with each surge and clinging to my mom and husband for support. Soon I felt the most amazing thing ever as I could feel her coming down into the birth canal, it felt like I had a bowling ball inside of me and I was feeling so powerful, I pushed again and I heard the midwife exclaim the head was out. The rest of her just seemed to slide out and my baby was here! At 1:43 am on Wednesday, June 4th, 2008 my baby girl Sophia Elanna came into this world with open eyes and a very calm demeanor. She also was born with a nuchal hand (hand born next to her head) and I had a tiny “skid mark” which is a tiny abrasion, but not a single tear. I did not need any sort of repair.

The flood of emotions I was feeling was so intense, from trying to process the physical sensations I had felt, to having my baby there in my arms, to just feeling disbelief that I did it. I felt so powerful and even was able to climb out of the tub and onto my bed with little assistance while still holding my baby who had a very short cord. Not long after getting in bed, I delivered the placenta. This was amazing to me since I did not remember that part of my other deliveries, as they wasted no time in my hospital births and pulled it out almost immediately.

Everyone worked on cleaning up while I got a chance to bond and cuddle with my baby girl. She was so calm and wide eyed, and alert. She just took everything in, lifting her head to look around. Jan then did the newborn exam, her APGAR was 9, and she was 6 lbs 10 oz and 18 7/8th inches long.

When the cord stopped pulsating, and was ready to cut, my midwife asked Bobby if he wanted to do it and he declined, so I was about to cut it, but asked my mom to do it, since she was such a key element to my positive birth experience and I felt if anyone deserved the honor, it was her.

Around 3:30 am I took my shower, it was so wonderful, and by a little after 4 am, I was able to go to bed, however I do not think I slept at all until around 7 am when Bobby took her downstairs for a little while to get some cuddle time. Sophie is such a sweet, calm little baby; she is a cuddle bug and nursing like a champion. She does not really have a fussy time, but she does have times where she is active.

This birth, by far, was my most rewarding. Even though I had epidurals to take care of the physical pain in Christopher and Matthew’s hospital births, that could not take away the mental pain of regrets and dissatisfaction with all the interventions. Being in my own home, in my own comfort zone, with an amazing birth & support team, and the amazing techniques I learned from my Hypnobabies home study courses made the entire experience breathtakingly beautiful. I felt so calm, Zen-like during my birthing time, and I was able to handle each contraction as it came, and let it go when it left, and not think about the next one until it was upon me. My head space stayed clean and I never once felt like I could not handle it anymore and needed drugs. I cannot get over the feeling of accomplishment and pride I feel. I did it!

Special thanks to my doulas Candace (above) and Kim (below) who reminded me of my strength through the entire labor and birth, and who’s tireless hands comforted me through each contraction helping me keep my calm. And of course to my calm and collect midwife, Jan, who brought so much wisdom and experience to my birth, and for making it possible for me to fulfill my dream of a homebirth.

And I just had to include this picture, because it shows how tired my poor family is the morning of the birth.

And of course, thank you to my beautiful mother, who flew in to support me during my birth, even though she was uncomfortable with homebirth. She never once wavered in her unconditional love and support. She never once showed fear, even though she told me later she was scared when Sophie was taking a while to clear the mucous from her throat and we let her work it out without suction.

Austin and Christopher decided back in 2005 that they would like to start growing out their hair, like their dad had his when he was a teen. The glamor of long hair wore out last year when they started getting teased at school, but Austin said he would like to let it grow out long enough to be donated to the charity “Locks of Love”

Here is a before picture of my little boys:

Christopher with his hair all up in pig-tails before the big snip:

Austin, minus the long pigtails, but before the real hair cut:

The three boys after their hair cuts:

Monday after school we will hit the post office to mail their hair, the boys are loving their short new cuts and look forward to seeing the reaction they receive on Monday at school. I am so proud of my sons, they have put so much into this and taken a lot of crap because of it, but they feel it is worth it and have no regrets.

PS. To see the full photostream, make sure to visit the entire set on Flickr.

No, not Sophie, she will come when she wants to come and be right on time.

My baby as in my new car!! I have been bitching about my ‘00 Ford Windstar for a LOOOOOOOONG time because it probably needed 2x its value in repairs that I was just not willing to pay for. It came down to a few choices… either suck it up and go into debt to fix my van and hope nothing else goes wrong for another 2 years. Suffer without heat, and all the other problems. Or my third and final choice was to trade it in and hope we get a good deal on another car. Well, that deal came along today when I learned that my bank, USAA, would take $3,000 off the purchase price of the van I wanted. They also valued my POS van at $2500 for trade in, which is about $2000-15000 more than what we expected.

Ideally, I would still have liked to wait until both cars were paid off and we had several thousand to put down, however I just cannot imagine putting my new little girl into a car that I cannot trust NOT to break down on me, and lacking heating/cooling.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE my new baby!! If you had to marry something that you loved this much, I would be a polygamist. I got a 2008 Honda Odyssey EX-L with the optional rear entertainment package. It has so many features I could write pages and pages about all the little things I love.

Here is the stock photo, since I just got it and have not taken pictures yet, and a link to all the features.

1. I learned that I have WAY too many songs with hidden tracks, silence or just crazy long on my iTunes, easily remedied by clicking Get Info>Options>Skip when Shuffling, OR in a large batch edit Get Info>Skip When Shuffling>Yes. I know, my anal retentiveness qualities are showing, but I hate having to Fast Forward through songs when listening to my iPod.

2. Dogs are the most annoying creatures EVER, just ask the one who lays in front of me and won’t let me move, or the one who is obsessively licking a bone and will not stop bringing it in the house no matter how many times I toss it out the door. The bone is supposed to keep her from chewing my deck, not enable her to annoy me in the house.

3. Friends are friends are friends. Be them online friends, or real life friends, it does not matter, they are there to pick you up when you are down and it works. After some encouraging emails and phone calls, I feel so much better about my day. I am not at 100% yet, but I think that won’t come until a good night’s sleep.

4. YouTube is EVIL! I watched this today and turned into a bawling puddle of tears… any of the videos they show about Soldiers or Iraq hit so close to home I just have a mini emotional breakdown. I have mentioned how much I LOVE what the Patriot Guard Riders are doing, but this tribute from an Aunt of a fallen soldier touched me even more than the news stories I have seen. I also love the Welcome Home Soldier program too. THANK YOU to our men and women serving our country, and THANK YOU to the men and women who serve those who serve or served! You are just as important as the soldiers, sailors, marines, and airmen!

Enjoy your cry, I know I did.

—————-
Now playing: John Mayer Trio - I Got A Woman
via FoxyTunes

On the wings of the anniversary of Columbine (A HUGE deal here in Colorado) and with the news that the SWAT team would be investigating all local high schools for weaknesses in case another school shooting… we lose more people to a senseless tragedy. I almost feel like it was worse that the shooter was a college senior… he was almost done with school. What a horrible waste, what a sad loss. My prayers extend to all those who have lost a loved one, to anyone injured and their families, and to all the students trying to heal. May healing come quick to all.

A Denver area attorney, who is known for his television ad campaign here in town, has joined Virgie Arthur’s legal team. Frank Azar, who’s commercial goes something like: “Got hurt in an accident? You need the strong arm!”

Azar, along with a few other television attorneys are sort of a punchline for Bobby and I for their aggressive commercials for personal injury.

Azar is known for multiple lawsuits against Wal-Mart and will join the legal team in Arthur’s attempt to gain custody of Anna’s 5 month old daughter, Danielynn. You can read the full article HERE.

This puts a whole new meaning to the show, apperently there is a couple in Brazil alleging that their cat had a litter of puppies; or would they be called kippies? Puppens? Kitpies? Puptens?

It will be interesting to see what the lab tests yield. Is this an elaborate hoax? Could it be possible for a cat and a dog to breed?

Yikes! This was too bizarre NOT to pass onto you.

Naked Man Arrested for Concealed Weapon

I am not going to even attempt to paste this on here, it’s a bit too gross, even for me. Not gross like blood and guts gross, but sexual pervert gross.

I loved the quote from El Cerrito Detective Cpl. Don Horgan:
“You can’t get much more concealed than that”.

This is really great! I sometimes don’t think states do enough. The state handling my son’s case has a most wanted website, but nothing like a newspaper ad. I can’t complain though, we are only owed around 2k, we will see most if not all of that come tax time (hopefully), however I see way too many states dropping the ball when it comes to child support *cough* Illinois *cough*.

Newspaper ads highlight ‘deadbeat dads’

Life could already be difficult for fathers who gets seriously behind in their court-ordered child support payments: Wages can be garnished, a driver’s license suspended, a tax refund withheld.
Now, such fathers might find their faces in the newspaper in an ad labeled “Deadbeat Dads.”
Westchester County, just north of New York City, bought a quarter-page ad in Tuesday’s New York Post aimed at shaming four major child support debtors into compliance — or at least finding out where they’re hiding.
“Do you know where these deadbeat dads are? Their children don’t,” the ad said.
The men owe between $34,000 and $63,000 each, the county claims, and catching just one of them “would pay for the ad 10 times over,” said County Executive Andrew Spano.
New York state, and Westchester in particular, have been tightening their child support enforcement in recent years.
Since 1994, state collections are up 144 percent, from $617 million to $1.5 billion, said Michael Hayes, spokesman for the state Office of Temporary and Disability Assistance, which oversees child support.
Westchester’s rate was up even more, he said — 190 percent. The county has been honored for four straight years as the most-improved big county in the state in child support enforcement.
Spano said that besides the effect on the spouse and children, missing child support payments “dips into the pockets of the taxpayers” by forcing many families onto welfare rolls.
“If you don’t want your picture in the paper, you don’t want your license suspended, you don’t want your car impounded, you don’t want to go to jail, do the right thing,” said Kevin Mahon, the county’s social services commissioner. “Pay your child support.”
Other states around the country are also taking new measures to crack down on “deadbeat dads.” Iowa has agreements with adjacent Illinois and Nebraska so deadbeats can’t find refuge by crossing a border.
Spano said Westchester parents are $144 million in arrears on child support. One of the largest debtors, at $68,000, is a woman.
Carmen Almeida, ex-wife of one of the men pictured in the Westchester ad, is owed $63,000 and said their 18-year-old daughter may have to drop out of American University in Washington next semester when a scholarship runs out.
She said her ex-husband, Alberto Almeida, was a construction worker and “had lots of money,” but may have fled to Portugal. She hopes friends of his who see the picture “will speak to him and see if he can send his daughter something. She needs the money and he always said he loved her very much.”
Many of the programs that secure child support — suspending licenses and withholding tax refunds, for example — are done in partnership with the state, but Westchester was on its own with the newspaper ad.
Mahon said the county may next move to impound the cars of child support offenders — and sell them in 30 days if no payment is forthcoming. He’s also considering hiring private detectives to find the most reclusive debtors, he said.