Oh my goodness, the tax stuff this year has me wanting to pull my hair out.

First, we waited FOREVER from a W-2 from his college, it just came yesterday, so I was thrilled to be able to finally file… however, because one of our forms we did is one of the four forms the IRA is not accepting until at least the 11th I went ahead and filed, having the online Tax place hold it for e-file until the forms will be accepted.

So today… what do I get but another form!! This time a 1099-Misc from freelance writing that I was not expecting. I made $75 more than what I would not have to claim, so now I have to amend my taxes. Worse yet, because they do not deduct taxes, I will end up OWING! It looks to be around $200 from first glance. CRAP. We already owe the state $600 (plus whatever this little surprise will cost us) in taxes and my real estate taxes are $800 and due too. Since our federal return is going 100% to paying off his car, that leaves around $1600 we owe, and soon, that we don’t have the money to pay all at once!! Hopefully the economic relief (which I am SO against) will come and then we can put that towards the “economy”… a la taxes… woot!

This is just frustrating enough to be comical….especially since I have not done much freelancing, or so I thought!

I remember when tax time used to be FUN!!

My freaking hormones are driving me mad insane. I keep crying at everything, some logical, some very irrational things. One of my darling children left the dogs in the house this morning before they went to school. I won’t name names, because it is pointless, but I know I have mentioned on more than one occasion that my Great Dane will tear my house to shreds given the chance that she is “alone”. Normally I am up before the last child leaves the house, but this morning my youngest decided to snooze in an hour later than normal instead of being my 7:15-7:30 alarm clock. By the time I cam downstairs at 8:15 my house was in shambles. Lost were several DVD cases, a bunch of papers, a CD case, my hair brush, more pieces of my area rug, new chew holes placed in my shoes and 2 of my 6 Hypnobabies CDs. Ok, so THOSE were some earned tears, I could buy three new Great Danes in what I have spent on replacing stuff she has ruined. Of course I wouldn’t, but it is just that frustrating to think about.

Of course normal TV shows caused me to cry, then a story about a lactavist who set up a safe place to breastfeed at a gathering after being told she could not shade her and her infant years before.

Other than the hormonal outbursts, the day was pretty mundane, a friend came over to visit, I mailed off a check to the doula I want to hire, played around with the tax program, and pouted about my shoes & CDs. I just don’t have the money to replace any of them right now, and I needed them like yesterday. Tomorrow is another day, right?

Today was supposed be Austin & Christopher’s first day back to school after a LONG, LOOOOOOOOOOONG winter break, but the school had other plans and I guess we missed the start date and assumed it was today.

Nope, it’s tomorrow. I leaned this after Austin called me to ask if I wanted him to walk home or if I would pick him up from school. W.T.F??? Why would I be picking you up from school 15 minutes before classes start?? He then explains there is no school today, so I get dressed and drive to get him in my freezing ass van. The heat was on full blast the entire time, but of course never kicked on. Twenty-damn-degree weather is NOT the time to have no heat, and totally not a great way to start the day. Bobby also showed me the hideous clicking noise it makes instead of cooling. Lovely. A full year without heating, cooling, and four kids ages 12-newborn… how ever did I get so lucky?? Oprah needs to give me a new van, otherwise my only hope of having a vehicle that keeps the passengers happy, does not turn my driveway into an oil slick, and does not smell like death warmed over every time it is started is some rich long lost relative kicking it and leaving me their fortune. Otherwise I just don’t see us having the $37k I would need for a van anytime this decade. At least in a year when my POS-car is paid off I can justify a car payment.

I am exhausted. I got two hours of sleep total last night in 30 minute increments. The dogs are at my feet with horrible gas, and I am hungry and feeling quite nauseous. The worlds-crankiest-toddler has decided today would be a great day for fits and tantrums… because he did not want a clean diaper, did not want to eat, and lord forbid I watch the news this morning instead of Sesame Street or the Wiggles. This is of course after he dominated the television for an hour.

I just want to crawl back in bed and emerge to happy kids and a working vehicle.

I hate my van, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it! I should have taken it back the moment we got it home and it started leaving oil spots on my driveway, or sold it when the dealership could not fix the leak the first, second, third, fourth, or even FIFTH time I had it in for a visit. The perpetual overheating smell it lovely, even when you drive it two blocks to the store. I have cussed at it all winter long when I go start it at 7:00 to find it still blowing cold air at 7:15 and get home from taking Austin to school at 7:35 JUST for it to start warming up. Today takes the cake though, I get two blocks away to a stop light and it sounds like I have a pain can full of marbles in the paint mixer coming from the dash of my car. It was the most hideous sound ever to where the baby was saying “too loud mommy, too loud!” and Bobby could hear it through the cell phone when I called to bitch. I wish it was paid off, I really do, because I want nothing more just to get rid of it and get something that is not falling apart at my fingertips!

Seriously people… it is Friday, you don’t have to act like fools because the weekend is here. How many jerks can I encounter in a 10 minute drive??

To the man in the Suburban: If you plan on disregarding the STOP sign and pulling out in front of me, can you at LEAST have the decency to go the speed limit?? Going 15 under is going to do nothing but piss off the drivers you illegally pulled in front of. I understand that reading a stop sign may be too difficult, but if the speed limit sign says 35, could you please at least match up the number on your odometer that looks the same? I get that you are driving a beater, and it may not go that fast, but WHY on earth were you heading to a road with a 50 MPH speed limit?? You can’t even make it up to 35! However after meeting asshole #2, I guess you are just a mini-hole.

To the MAIN asshole in the green SUV: Your kids go to the same school as mine, which means I see you 2x a day. WHY do you have to act like the world’s biggest (or maybe I should say littlest?) prick? Let me educate you on something… the little yellow lane in the middle of the road is called a turn lane, to allow you to turn onto residential streets. It was NEVER intended to be a passing lane. If a truck stalls and takes up the right lane, and also takes up the middle lane, it is STILL first come first serve on who gets to go first. Since I was there first, that would be ME, not you. You do NOT have the right to zip around me just because the stick up your ass is pinching you and causing you physical pain. A nice head on collision might be a nice refresher on how to drive, but no one deserves to be injured at the hands of your road rage. The 30 seconds you saved by speeding past me is NOT WORTH THE LIVES OF YOU CHILDREN!! And VERY not worth the lives of my own children. Had I been an inpatient prick like you, you would have slammed into the back of my car and I would have sued you for everything you own, including the shirt on your back. Take a pill and calm the fuck down buddy, we ALL have to share the road.

To the police department: Sorry you are so understaffed, overworked, and underpaid, we could have really used the revenue from these assholes to balance the city budget.

Thanks to the “wonder drug” making me so sick, I have yet to have a full night’s sleep. The first night I was puking, the second night I kept waking from crazy dreams (the kind you get when you are sick), and last night I was in so much pain that not even the hot bath could relax me enough to get more than a couple hours of sleep. Everything from my waist up (to include wrists and thumbs) hurt so bad that breathing is almost unbearable. Even sleeping upright did not help.

My only solace is that DH is taking our oldest to school, so I don’t have to get out of my pajamas. I need whatever comfort I can get so not dragging out the two year old, scraping frost off my windshield to drive him to school is the best thing I could have asked for.

Don’t get me started on the middle son though…. the boy is on my last nerve. I have been wondering how it takes my oldest two boys to get ready to school when the oldest has 1 1/2 - 2 hours to get ready for school, and the middle child has 2 hours to get ready. Yes, they have chores in the morning (make sure the dishwasher is loaded, should have been done after dinner so that is a cinch, get the clothes out of the dryer and start a new load in the wash, pick up your messes, and get yourself showered, dressed, eat breakfast, brush your hair & teeth). NOTHING that should take more than an hour. Apparently my middle son thinks it should take 45 minutes to be dressed up to his underwear. When I finally gave up trying to sleep, and got up because I was sick of hearing him yell through the house, I got up to find he had showered for 15 minutes (no biggie) and then done nothing but stand around in nothing more than his underwear for the next 30 minutes. I am not sure how I can get that boy motivated without breathing down his neck for 2 hours each morning, which just is not feasible with my lack of sleep lately.

On a better and brighter note, I am 12 weeks today! The baby is starting to look more human, and I am *supposed* to start feeling more human soon, but I will just watch and wait to see if my morning sickness gets the hint that it is time to hit the road. I am going to go out on a limb here and say either I am carrying a girl (since I have 2x as much morning sickness than I did my other two pregnancies combined) OR this is another baby boy trying to guarantee he is last baby we have (which was always the plan anyways). Either way, I will be happy, as I truly just want a healthy baby. Don’t tell Matthew this, as he insists this is his “baby sister”, he gets angry anytime I even suggest it could be a baby brother.

Please someone tell my 2 year old that mama REALLY needs him to take a nap today, so she can try to nap herself. This nap strike he is on is about to drive me batty!

With the time change, a cold and being in a bad mood this morning, Matthew and I already are butting heads. He is congested and coughing so I would not let him have a glass of milk with his bowl of cereal with milk and that turned into a 15 minute sob-fest of “Matthew SAD! No water mommy, Matthew MILK.” I do not deal well with his whiny days.

I have to leave NOW to get Austin to school, but no one is ready, then I have a 45 minute prenatal appointment today Mr. Whiny Pants is going to have to accompany on. I want to cancel it, but she should have answers of my test results this morning and I really want to get a treatment plan going NOW.

Once we get back home from taking Austin to school, I think I am going to toss Matthew in a hot shower to steam his sinuses clear and then a nice snuggle in bed before we go, maybe that will put him in a happier mood.

Nope, not morning sickness this time. The below pictures show what happens each time we leave Isis free in the house. This time I was taking a nap and did not know she got left inside and this is what I come downstairs to. I can’t even express into words how devastated I feel right now. DH is on his way home from work right now because he could hear it in my voice how upset I was.

She does this EACH and EVERY time she is alone. Be it when I am upstairs in bed, or when we are gone for 15 hours, or 15 minutes. Our solution was to keep her in the back yard with an invisible fence when we left (weather permitting) and it got turned off because she got stuck under the deck and before we could turn it back on she shredded the wires and now I will probably have to pay another couple hundred dollars I don’t have to repair it.

She has done this with homework, with Bobby’s $100 dress shoes (twice), with bills, with books, with toys, you name it. I am getting to the point where I am wanting to get her on an anti-anxiety medication like Prozac or Xanax for dogs. We tried crate training her, but that make her anxiety worse and she would have GI problems resulting in explosive diarrhea.

View of most of the mess.

Ongoing damage she has done to my floor rug.

Brand new yarn I was going to use to make something for the baby. Was white, now yellow with pee.

What was formerly known as my favorite shoes.

Christopher’s book he was reading for school, in part.

Matthew inspecting the damage.

Matthew laughing at the kitten.

I am off to google ideas on how to deal with separation anxiety, I am tired of dealing with all the damage!

Yesterday I started spotting light pink, so I called my OBs office and they got me right in. They did an exam and said everything was ok, but to head to the ER is it gets worse (since I had no cramping). Well around 10pm I was getting ready for bed and the blood was a lot heavier and bright red. I argued with myself if it was worth going, but decided 4 hours in the ER was worth the peace of mind…. ha!

I get there at 11:30 and the ER is PACKED. I should have just come home and gone to bed and called my OB in the morning, but by this time I am starting to cramp. SIX hours later they finally call me back (after telling me I was the next one going back and calling 5 people after me). They do a ton of blood work, an ultrasound that they will not let me see, a pelvic that hurt like hell and 6 hours later send me home. So I was there for 11 hours, crazy huh? No one offered anything to eat, drink, and I could not sleep because they needed the lights all on.

When they did the ultrasound I could see part of the side of the screen, and when the measured the fetal heart tones I freaked out because I could only see flat lines. I was so worried my baby’s heart was not beating yet. After what seemed like a lifetime I was able to see the radiologist’s report and it said I was measuring 6w6d (I was barley 7w0d so that was perfect) they saw a fetal pole and a heart rate of 124 BPM. They also saw “minimal subchorionic low echogenic material seen that may identify minimal blood”.

The OB’s office called back this morning and said I have an infection that may be causing all these problems combined with implantation bleeding from the placenta. I am on bed rest until the bleeding stops and I have a follow-up appointment on Monday. Between the ER copay, 11 hours of my time, and the medication NOT being covered (one application was $92!!) this has turned into an expensive LONG day. For the most part I am pretty bored, up in bed with my laptop. DH is being pretty good, other than the fact that he is STARVING me up here. LOL

PS. Husband brought me clam chowder soup & crackers and Matthew to cuddle with so he’s back to the status of best hubby ever.

Housework sucks so bad right now, because guess what? Dishes stink, laundry stinks, garbage stinks, vacuuming makes me cough and coughing makes me want to puke and my energy level is consistently somewhere in the negative levels.

However I thank my lucky stars for this pregnancy daily, don’t get me wrong…. but why does something so wonderful like a baby come with all these lovely side effects?? One would think morning sickness and fatigue are “natural birth control” for future children, except for the lovely mom-nesia in which you forget ALL the bad the moment you hold the baby and think to yourself “I could totally do this again, I LOVE being pregnant” WTH!?! Talk about mixed messages body!!

I wonder if I can talk Bobby into hiring a housekeeper for me a few times a week? LOL Hell, it’s half tempting to beg my friend to come clean my house for $10 an hour one day a week while I take a nap.

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