Mistakes in Motherhood

What is eas-birth-mas? Doesn’t everyone celebrate it?? Well, since you asked (or didn’t), eas-birth-mas is a family celebration we decided we would have when Bobby got back in the states, to celebrate all the holidays dad missed. We had planned on making it eas-thank-birth-mas, but with us moving in a few days, I decided to put off turkey day for after we were settled in.

We started the day by distracting the kids with box-forts we helped them make. When I got my new washer and dryer, we asked them to leave the appliance boxes for the kids.



Bobby cut doors and windows in the boxes for the kids (while Austin posed for photo-ops) and then we let them decorate them or continue to cut them how the pleased. They ended up creating a tunnel and joining the two boxes.

While they were playing with the boxes, I wrote directions on sticky notes at each child’s level. For Austin and Chris I had a list of small chores that had a new hint at the end of it.

Christopher found his video game in the freezer when his last note asked him to see how much bread we had in the freezer, where Austin’s Blu-Ray was found in the dishwasher after the final clue told him to see if the dishes in the dishwasher needed started.

Matthew’s last clue simply said “tub” and Sophia’s only clue had a picture of a cat and she found her gifts in the scratching post.

For dinner we had dessert first, ice cream cake, and Sophie made a big mess.

She was so messy in fact, a bath was the only solution.

We also sold Bobby’s VW bug today too, so that was great news, since we can’t take it to WA with us, and the person who sold it will take good care of it I am sure.

1 Comment | In: A lot about nothing, This is how I roll | tags: Austin, Bobby, Christopher, Family, Holidays, Matthew, Me, Silliness, Sophia. | #

But Matthew found my keys! They were in the toy bins, in the bin that hold the hotwheels. I guess Sophie was trying to drive the cars huh? And I guess Austin was not forthcoming when I asked him several times if he checked in the toys.

1 Comment | In: People, Places & Things | tags: Austin, Auto Stuff, Matthew. | #

Hubby’s car hasn’t been starting for months. I figured it was just cold from not being run regularly. Jumped it tonight and ran it all over town for an hour. Took it to the auto supply store for a quick battery check and it showed after all that driving and assuming I was charging the battery, I turned off the car and it was dead. The computer showed my battery was completely dead, despite only being 6 months old. Now we are thinking the alternator is dying, so Monday I get to jump it again and take it to the dealership. Thankfully it only dies when I turn it off, for now at least.

Of course all this would be easier if my teenager hadn’t lost my keys while I was out…. that is just my luck, huh?

No Comments | In: This is how I roll | tags: Austin, Auto Stuff, Bobby, Lame-o, Ramblings. | #

Today I left this message on my mom’s voice mail. “Hi mom, its me. I just wanted to let you know to keep an eye out for two of your grandsons. I have a feeling they may be running away from home today and will probably be hitchhiking up to live with you. They have no clean clothes though, so sorry. They will be traveling light, I took all their belongings from the room they told me to clean since they lied. Let me know when they get there.”

The back story to this message is simple: I told the two oldest boys, who share a room, that in 3 days the Realtor was coming and I needed them to clean their room to the level of spotless. They cleaned for a while and then told me it was done. So I told 2nd oldest to vacuum, after about 20 minutes I yelled at him to start the vacuum already and he told me that he was cleaning his room so he could vacuum because they messed it up a bit since they finished cleaning. Odd. Ok, whatever. You told me it was clean, twice… I’ll hold you to it.

So this morning I head down to the crawlspace in their room to find a box to put cookies in to mail to my hubby and I exploded. Thankfully they were at school when this happened, and the baby slept through it… So I decided to clean it myself to teach them what “clean” looks like. Just a quick product review. Kirkland brand lawn bags are AMAZING. They are Costco’s generic brand of Hefty bags and they hold well. I grabbed one of those brooms that you see on TV, the “amazing” ones that are a wedge on one side and bristles on the other, four trash bags, and set to work bagging up everything on the floor except big boxes, and laundry. An hour later… I was almost done, but had to leave for a doctor’s appointment, so I loaded up all the laundry into the back of my van and 3 of the 8 laundry bags and head to my appointment.

Afterward, I ran over to my brand new storage unit and unloaded a total of ELEVEN loads of laundry, 3 bags of toys, garbage & books, a huge basket of books, and 3 tote boxes of toys. I headed back home and put the baby in her highchair for lunch and loaded up the rest of the toys (5 bags) 2 globes, 2 boxes of breakables and then proceeded to spread baking soda all over their room while I vacuumed under dressers, windowsills, cobwebs, and under the bed. My poor Dyson vacuum had to go over their carpet TWICE just to get it clean. Mind you, this is the room that they vacuumed just yesterday. I woke up the baby who had fallen asleep in the highchair while I was working and then took another trip to the storage unit. The oldest boy called to tell me he was sick, so I picked him up and banished him to bed. He explained that while waiting for me, he ate his lunch and started feeling better. I *should* have loaded his butt back into the van and taken him back, but I figured laying in an empty room was punishment enough and would be less fun then playing sick and getting attention at school.

In 10 minutes I have to leave to go get the 2nd oldest from school, he is going to FLIP OUT when he sees his room. I predict whining and tears from him. I will explain that I simply took care of all their trash that they left on the floor and maybe they will be able to keep their room clean if it is empty. If they keep their room clean, they will earn one container back at a time. Too bad they have so much dirty laundry, since that is what they will be earning back first… one basket at a time.

3 Comments | In: This is how I roll | tags: Austin, Christopher, Confessions, Domestic Diva, Family, Insanity, Lame-o, Parenting, Ranting, Tirade. | #

*Now, with working pictures!!*

Wow, what a whirlwind of the last 3 months. I had a GLORIOUS summer. First vacation was up to Glenwood Hot Springs a few hours northeast of here in Glenwood Colorado.

The drive was gorgeous, the kids loved all the tunnels and the hot springs were amazing. The pool was a city block and so comfortable. Sophie fell asleep floating in my arms several times.

The next weekend we went to Canon City about an hour from here to camp in these amazing little one bedroom (sleeps 6) cabin with a full kitchen and bathroom. We stayed at a Yogi Bear campground, so the kids were super busy with activities and contests. Austin did an essay for a contest on his dad since we were there for father’s day and made me cry.

As soon as we were unpacked from Yogi I packed up the 4 kids and two large dogs and drove 1200 miles to visit my family. I got to spend a few days in Montana with my oldest sister and her 5 little ones (sorta, two teens, a tween, the youngest two are the most adorable twin toddler girls!!) After that I went to my parents land in Idaho where we spent the 4th of July on the beach, picked huckleberries, and enjoyed each others company. My grandparents came over from Montana to see us and it was so wonderful to see them again. Then we headed back to Spokane were we went back and forth between Spokane and the cabin in Idaho for the rest of the month. I also got to see my other sister and her two kids who are just amazing kids. My niece writes music and plays them on the guitar and athletic and confident and just a remarkable young woman. Here are a few pictures of our time in Priest Lake:

Two days after we returned from Idaho, Bobby came home from Iraq for 3 weeks. Our anniversary is July 28th and he flew home the afternoon of the 27th so with the help of my friend Tracie I was able to plan an amazing little getaway. We went to a super nice restaurant in town and then I surprised him with an overnight stay in a gorgeous suite at a 4 star hotel at the Cliff House in Manitou Springs. They had a bottle of wine and chocolate covered strawberries and a rose waiting for us when we arrived.

Then we were off for our family vacation to Disney World!! The kids had NO idea where we were going so when we missed our flight they were super bummed. A night at the Hilton near the airport and all was forgotten.

When we finally made it to Orlando we had so much fun. The weather was hot and muggy but we did not mind. The park was crowded and the lines were long but we barely noticed. By the end of the day we were so happy we had rented a house and had our own rooms to go to and a full kitchen so we could just grab a bowl of cereal and crash for the night. We spent two days at the Magic Kingdom.

Then we spent a day in Epcot, which really was not enough!

We also spent a day at Animal Kingdom, where my camera battery promptly died and a rushed day at Hollywood Studios because we were having a little get together with three families who live in Florida whom I have been friends with for seven years. Talk about a fun night!! The kids got along great, the men folk hit it off instantly, and we girls had a blast talking the night away.

Bobby’s vacation was over before we knew it and the boys headed back to school. Austin and Christopher are both in middle school this year and Matthew is in his last year of preschool.

They are enjoying school, except Austin had a problem with his math teacher. She was bullying him and talking down to him since day one. She seemed to single him out. Anyone who knows Austin knows this kid is a golden child. Today he *asked* me if he could put my laundry away for me and folded a basket of laundry without being asked and then put it away. The same child I heard tell his brothers “lets keep the kitchen clean, mom worked hard on it today”. Well his breaking point was when he was sitting on his feet so he could see his math book, he’s short like we are and the desks are bigger this year. The teacher yelled at him to sit on his butt and when he explained he could not see if he sat that way she told him “maybe you need to have your mommy send you in with a booster seat?!” Austin did not say anything, but went to the principal to demand a new teacher because he was tired of being treated like dirt and then having her demand his respect. The school still has not called to tell me of this incident or to apologize, but I have not called them either as I kind of fell like this is Austin’s battle, not mine and he is handling it like a true warrior!

Christopher has his ups and downs. On one hand he is helping out more to earn money to replace games he lost of Austin’s, he mowed the lawn for me tonight. On the other hand he is having problems with doing what he needs to do in a timely matter (getting ready for school, completing homework, etc) and he has had a few outbursts here and there that are uncalled for.

Matthew is having a hard time with preschool this year, he’s having some major separation issues and clings to me at drop-off. Once I leave he is fine, but man he wrenches at my heart strings. Today I was listening to music and he said to me “I sure like this song about them living in a lallow sub-barine!!” He’s a funny boy.

Other than that, we are trying to adjust to Sophie’s moods. She’s getting 4 molars in right now and her 4 front teeth are still trying to come in the rest of the way. If that is not bad enough, because of teething she is getting horrible bleeding diaper rashes so both ends are hurting her. She is talking up a storm and says “here you go” “go bye?” “yogurt” “mommy” “Austin” among all her other words. She’s a smart little thing and made her toy say bye-bye by cycling through other sounds until it came back to bye-bye again when I was pressuring her to wave bye-bye to me.

Bobby and I are doing well, 5 more months until he gets home and I am just trying to stay busy to help move time. I am also trying to get healthier and keep my house cleaner. I am trying to get into the habit of going to the gym on M, W & F when I drop the kids off at school. I have already started to see and feel changes in myself.

So, if you have made it this far, here is my massive update of why I have been MIA. I am hoping be around a little more now that school has started. If you want a link to *all* my Disney pics the link is here.

1 Comment | In: People, Places & Things | tags: Austin, Bobby, Christopher, Family, Finances, Matthew, Me, Photography, Silliness, Sophia, Vacations. | #

I have not had much time to update my blog, let alone breath, but I have a moment as we are just getting home camping in Canon City. The weekend before we were in Glenwood Spring at the hot springs for Sophie’s little friend Winter’s birthday, her party was Saturday. Seventeen days ago, my own little Sophia had her very first birthday. I am just in disbelief that my teeny tiny princess is already a year old. How time flies!! She’s got such a huge personality for such a teeny tiny little thing. She’s not walking or standing up yet by herself, but she is pulling up on stuff and walking along furniture A LOT. I imagine she will be 13-14 months before she walks, just like the rest of my kids.

Next week we will be driving home to WA state to go spend time with my family for 3-4 weeks, and then we will come home in time for Bobby to come home on leave for 3 weeks. We are planning a huge surprise family vacation, but I am not saying where until the airplane tickets are purchased and the vacation home rented. The kids start back at school 2 days before Bobby heads back to Iraq.

No Comments | In: People, Places & Things, This is how I roll | tags: Austin, Bobby, Christopher, Domestic Diva, Family, Matthew, Me, Milestones, Sophia, Vacations. | #

I was talking with a friend who was telling me a cute story about how her son identifies adult and children males and females and it got me wondering what Matthew calls them as I have only noticed him say “boy & girl”.

So I picked up a magazine and I asked him “What is that?” and he says “girl” and I said “but she is a grownup, so what is she” and he says “she is a woman!” so then I found a picture of an adult male and asked him what that was and he thought a moment and said “he’s a dude!!”

What is even funnier about the answer is that from the time he could talk, Matthew has been calling our friend across the street “The Man”, no matter how many times we corrected him or told him his name, he was always still just “The Man”.

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Austin found a pit bull puppy today and put it in our back yard with a bowl of water. It was salivating so much from being thirsty that Christopher said “Oh no! It has rabies! It is foaming at the mouth!” The pup was nice enough, but I sure was glad that the humane society was quick in picking it up.

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Sophie has been a pill for the last two days. Nothing seems to make her happy and she is not wanting to eat or nap. I think we may be seeing some new teeth soon. On a positive note, I was able to get all her 6-9 month clothing washed and sorted and put away with any of her 3-6 month summer clothes that still fit. She was screaming at my feet almost the entire time, but at least I managed to get it done. Thankfully it looks like she should have enough clothes to make it through the summer, especially if the ones I have soaking in oxyclean come clean. I may take a trip to the new Goodwill soon, because I am sure everyone could use some new summer clothes.

No Comments | In: People, Places & Things | tags: Austin, Christopher, Matthew, Silliness, Sophia. | #

Austin is thirteen today, THIRTEEN, 1-3. Holy cow how did that happen?!? Normally one would lament on the day their baby was born, but I feel truly blessed that I have SO much more I can lament on. I can remember the day like it was yesterday when I met him the first time. He was 2 1/2, in a red shirt and blue jean overalls. He was so tiny, but I got a glimpse of what Christopher would look like in another 18 months. I also remember one year later, the day he came home, I remember him smoothing out his quilt on his bed my sister made for him. He kept asking over and over if that was really his own bed.

The years flew by with so many unforgettable memories. Him calling me mom for the first time. Him wrapping his arms around me and telling me he loves me. First day of Kindergarten, losing his first tooth, riding his first airplane, riding on the back of my dad’s Harley and then telling me he did not even hold on half the time. His personality started coming out more and more and I adored the little person he was turning into. He is compassionate, caring, funny, smart, but at the same time so blond. I just cannot believe what a change he has made with his life… he was once such a mouthy, angry child. I remember him telling Christopher how much he hated him and getting into fights at school. I remember him hitting me in the face and acting out so terribly that we were concerned about his mental health.

Then he blossomed. Slowly, beautifully, like a flower in the morning dew. He let the sunshine into his heart and it spread! His joy and happiness was contagious, everyone he met loved him. His teachers raved about how much compassion he had for his friends. Last year, the school acknowledged all his marvelous traits when they recognized him for the great kid he is when he made student of the year. I cried, oh how I cried. I cried because he did not start out this way and build to this great kid. He worked hard, twice as hard to get to this place. He started out at a -100 and worked his butt off to be a +100. He overcame so much to get where he is now.

He is such a funny little boy. This morning he went back to school after missing 3 days of school this week due to illness. When we pulled up he said “ohhh, this place looks familiar, but I can’t place it… I think I was here a LONG time ago”. Funny, funny boy!

1 Comment | In: People, Places & Things | tags: Adoption, Austin, Memories, Milestones. | #

A couple months ago I banned a certain friend from the house. I never really cared for him, but I could not put my finger on it at first. In time I REALLY did not like him because when I would say no to almost any request, he would try to change my mind even though I never once went back on my initial decision. He was always also trying to stay the night, and when I would say he had plans, he would respond that his parents had plans and he could not stay home alone so he *had* to find a place to stay.

Well two months ago I was about to slice some mango for fruit salad, and one was missing. I blamed my own children, but the next day they said they saw this boy with a mango. Then he was bragging at school that he had gotten a mango from our house and it was the best ever. I was furious and told the boys I did not want him in my house anymore. Bobby thought I was being harsh, but I refuse to allow liars or thieves into my house. A few days later he apologized to Christopher and admitted to stealing the mango.

Then it comes out that some of the kids in the neighborhood as missing games, and this boy has stolen them and he was in a lot of trouble at home. Austin admits to me that he thought the boy had stolen his game, but had no proof. Christopher also was missing a game. Austin & Christopher went to his mom and told her that they felt he had their games and she said she did not see them.

Well a few weeks ago I see the kids looking through Matthew’s room, they told me he had Christopher’s gameboy last and they don’t know where he put it. I immediately think of the boy, but they sort of dismiss it for a few days until Austin says “you know, the last place I saw his gameboy was when Matthew had it in the bathroom, and the boy used that bathroom too.

So today the boy says at school he is going to come over and talk to me about a game he accused Christopher of stealing, a game *we* gave him that he lost. I was really hoping he would come so I could ask him to get the gameboy and games now. Instead, two neighborhood boys show up. They say they they have seen the boy with a lot of new games lately and they mention the two pokemon games the boys were missing. Then I ask if he had a DS, and they said “a silver one? With a ton of scratches??” and Austin was like *I* scratched that gameboy, on accident!!” so together they went to talk to the boy’s parents.

Well I guess the apple does not fall too far from the tree. The mom was pissed, at MY kids! She said she was going to call the police on my kids for harassment! WTF!?! Hearing this, I called the police and asked him to write down the boy’s address, as well as addresses and phone numbers of all the witnesses who saw our games and gameboy. The dad started yelling at the boy and amazingly enough, the gameboy appeared, and it was being used by none other than the mom. Another one of the kids admits they know who has the game, and he traded the boy his own games for the pokemon games. That child let Austin look at the game, and sure enough, there is the the pokemon he misnamed, “Charmandy”. That child gave back the one game and asked me if he could borrow the other game for a few weeks so he could beat it. I told the kids to make the decision, but I had to problem with it because he had been super honest in returning the game, even though he had traded it for one of his own games. They like this other kid, so they are letting him borrow it.

I decided since the games and the gameboy were returned, I would not involve the police, but my friend suggested I make an appointment with the principal since he was threatening to beat up my son, and I agree that I probably should involve the school for that reason alone. If that boy as much as sets foot in my driveway, I will have NO issue telling him to get off my property.

Tonight I took my kids out to dinner and ice cream for standing up for themselves, choosing better friends (at least 3 kids were willing to help them and were honest about the boy having their games), and for being thorough in making sure he had witnesses’ names and addresses. I was also impressed that he was still polite to the boy’s mom, even though he *knew* the boy had his stuff and she was protecting and bullying him. I am glad this family lives about 4 or 5 blocks away.

1 Comment | In: People, Places & Things, This is how I roll | tags: Austin, Christopher, Lame-o, Matthew, Parenting, Ranting, Technology. | #

There are days when I struggle with motherhood. I mean REALLY struggle. Just today I was telling my husband how frustrated I am in my kids’ lack of responsibility with the animals. We have a horrible mean pitbull living next door ripping holes in my fence and it is just a matter of time before it gets through and kills or harms one of my dogs. So the rule is the dogs can be out for 2 minutes max until I can get the landscaping company to come out and replace my fence. So this morning I hear the dogs barking while I am nursing the baby. Ten minutes pass, still barking, 15 minutes. I finally hit the conference button on the phone and broadcast that the dogs are STILL outside.

Also, the cats. Christopher’s job is to feed the cats and clean the litter boxes daily. Yet if I don’t nag, it does not get done and then they seek out my towels. So now every time I think I have a “clean” towel, I discover it smells like cat urine. Nice. Also, when I am trying to feed Sophia, I have three cats underfoot circling around my ankles because their food bowl is empty.

Bobby called today and I vented, I vented good. I told him how frustrated I was at their total lack of responsibility, how Austin pulled out a progress report while we were walking out the door and asked me to sign it because it was due today and I refused because we would have been late if I had to stop everything and look it over before I sign it. I am just plain sick of it.

So I told my husband how I was half tempted to load up the three cats and two dogs in the van and take them to a kennel for the weekend and board them. How tempted I am to tell the kids that I got rid of the animals because I found them families that would take better care of them. How tempted I am to tell them that if they did not love the animals enough to feed them, water them, and provide them with a clean place to poop and pee that they will go elsewhere.

BUT that would be mean. I am not about to punish my pets, or my four year old because of something my teen & tween did. I am a mean mom, but at the same time I don’t want to teach them that lying and trickery is OK. I struggle with where the line in the sand is sometimes. I struggle daily with trying to be effective without being too mean or too nice. I struggle with making the punishment fit the crime. I struggle with too many chores vs. too little chores. I have very good kids, and I believe I have good kids because my husband and I have always worked together and tried to be consistent, we have always given them responsibility, and we have never spoiled them with toys or candy because they held their breath or stomped their feet at the store.

I think with our family spread out like it is right now we are all feeling the stress and I feel less effective because I don’t have my partner here to back me up. I think he feels helpless because he wants to help and he wants to put his foot up their butts, but from that many thousands of miles away, what can you say? “Just wait, in four months, you are going to be sorry!”? And I think the kids are struggling too, they miss their dad and it is hard to stay motivated when you are sad, I get that. I just wish they would see how overwhelmed I am carrying their load on top of my own. I need to heal this fracture, or I will crumble under the weight of it all.

I don’t think this weekend is going to be a fun one, I can tell you that! Hmmmm, I wonder if I can figure out how to set up the parental controls on the TV??

2 Comments | In: This is how I roll | tags: Add new tag, Austin, Bobby, Christopher, Confessions, Domestic Diva, Family, Fur Babies/Pets, Insanity, Lame-o, Matthew, Me, Parenting, Ranting, Sadness, Tirade. | #