Mistakes in Motherhood

What is eas-birth-mas? Doesn’t everyone celebrate it?? Well, since you asked (or didn’t), eas-birth-mas is a family celebration we decided we would have when Bobby got back in the states, to celebrate all the holidays dad missed. We had planned on making it eas-thank-birth-mas, but with us moving in a few days, I decided to put off turkey day for after we were settled in.

We started the day by distracting the kids with box-forts we helped them make. When I got my new washer and dryer, we asked them to leave the appliance boxes for the kids.



Bobby cut doors and windows in the boxes for the kids (while Austin posed for photo-ops) and then we let them decorate them or continue to cut them how the pleased. They ended up creating a tunnel and joining the two boxes.

While they were playing with the boxes, I wrote directions on sticky notes at each child’s level. For Austin and Chris I had a list of small chores that had a new hint at the end of it.

Christopher found his video game in the freezer when his last note asked him to see how much bread we had in the freezer, where Austin’s Blu-Ray was found in the dishwasher after the final clue told him to see if the dishes in the dishwasher needed started.

Matthew’s last clue simply said “tub” and Sophia’s only clue had a picture of a cat and she found her gifts in the scratching post.

For dinner we had dessert first, ice cream cake, and Sophie made a big mess.

She was so messy in fact, a bath was the only solution.

We also sold Bobby’s VW bug today too, so that was great news, since we can’t take it to WA with us, and the person who sold it will take good care of it I am sure.

1 Comment | In: A lot about nothing, This is how I roll | tags: Austin, Bobby, Christopher, Family, Holidays, Matthew, Me, Silliness, Sophia. | #

It’s been about 18 days since Bobby got home and it is unbelievable to me that it wasn’t just yesterday. These last few weeks have been a blur of activity, and I feel like I have not even had time to exhale, yet alone process. He’s spending a lot of time working at home, and my routine of taking kids to and from school, cleaning, and going to appointments has resumed. But the craziest thing of this is that we are *still* in limbo. We still do not have authorization to move! Yes, here we are at 16 days past the day I planned to be gone, and we don’t even know when and where we are going.

I cope by knitting another row onto an afghan I have been working on for two years. I listen to Bob Marley and remind myself that “every little thing, gonna be alright”, I drink tea and sometimes wine, and take walks and watch documentaries on Netflix. But no matter how much I distract myself, I am still frustrated that we still don’t have the information we thought we would have at the end of December; and every other Wednesday I am thankful that he still has a paycheck, and insurance, and a job, even if he is at home driving me nuts.

I used to romanticize the idea of working from home, but if anything, the last couple weeks has taught me that working from home is the equivalent at working in prison, with between one to five noisy cellmates hanging off of you like a bunch of baby orangutans. I sometimes wonder if he volunteers to go to the store in the evenings just to get away from it all, and even then he usually has to drag along a few primates with him. I really respect that he hasn’t gone all “Here’s Johnny!” on us and redrum-ed the kids and I.

So whenever I complain to myself that I am tired, frustrated, or frazzled (the trifecta of mommy-hood) I just remind myself that not only is he dealing with the same triple-punch, but on top of that has deadlines and reports and real-actual-get-paid-for-work that he has to complete without a nice, quiet space to run off to. Sometimes the silver lining is obvious, sometimes you have to dig deep to find it, but know that it is always there.

1 Comment | In: A lot about nothing | tags: Bobby, Domestic Diva, House Stuff, Insanity, Lame-o, Moving, Updates. | #

I have unofficial news!! Bobby should be home at the end of NEXT WEEK!! SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

TEN more days!!

T-E-N!

wow

No Comments | In: A lot about nothing | tags: Bobby. | #

Today Bobby asked his boss if he is confident enough with sending us to Ft. Lewis that he would sign a lease if it were him and he got an email back that just said “call me”. Oh man, the proverbial “we have to talk”; that is never good news.

To sum it up, seems like the entire department is going to be going through an overhaul soon and they are not sure how this will change things, so they are trying not to move anyone until they have all the kinks worked out. So now we don’t know if Ft. Lewis is still on the table, and when we would need to be there. We were planning on being there in early February, but now it is impossible. On a positive note, while they are sorting things out he stays here & works from home, which means he can help me with pre-move purging.

Speaking of pre-move purging, we had a walk-through with Mayflower and we have about 3,000 pounds of stuff to get rid of to get our cost below what the company allows.

I refuse to lose hope, no one says this has to change the statement that we will be needed in Washington state. Purging will be good for us, we have a ton of stuff that has outgrown its usefulness that I just have not had a chance to remove, large bulky things I cannot move on my own. This is positive, really it is, I have to believe it, we just don’t know what it means yet.

No Comments | In: A lot about nothing | tags: Bobby, House Stuff, Insanity, Moving. | #

This move is teaching me a very valuable lesson on men and women. It seems no matter how stressed I get, or how mad, or sad, or frustrated or any other range of emotion I feel about waiting for confirmation about this move, my husband has appeared to me to be very nonchalant and calm about it. This morning I think I snapped and finally sent him this email.

Hey, I know you are trying to stay on top of this move situation, but I am seriously feeling major stress and I don’t know what else I can do. No matter where we go it is going to be very hard for me to find a place for us to live without giving away all our pets and kids and I am just not sure what else to do to avoid getting ulcers. The longer we go without an answer, the more anxiety I feel and I start crying and have panic attacks multiple times a day. Can you think of any way we can communicate to your boss that we really need to have a for sure answer? Every person I have talked to in Olympia has told us they want us to have one full month notice before moving into a house, which means the longer we go without an answer, the longer the 6 of us live in a hotel together. If we end up going to VA, it will probably take even longer to find a place, and we may end up having to board the pets at anywhere from $12-30 per pet, per day.

Heather

About 30 minutes later he called me, and got me to laugh and smile. He told me he had tried calling his boss several times and left him a voice message. When I freaked out on him and told him I wanted him to fly home so I could choke him for not being emotional like I was (this statement was made very light-hearted, and we both knew it). He told me he knew this was hard on me, and he was allowing me to cry and complain and freak out because he knew I needed to. He knew one of us needed to be strong, so he decided to take on that role. So when I freaking out that he was not freaking out, he was being strong because he knew one of us needed to be or we would both be puddles of goo over this.

This made me realize, that when I felt I was carrying this load alone, not only was he helping me carry it, but in addition he was carrying ME! It is times like this that I really appreciate my husband, even if he does things differently than I do, and does not carry his emotions on his sleeves, it does not mean that he does not have emotions, he just expresses them differently than I do. I am glad he allowed me to step back and see things at face value, so I was not sitting here brooding and stressing, feeling like I was slaying the dragon all by myself.

2 Comments | In: This is how I roll | tags: Bobby, Marriage, Me, Moving, Ranting. | #

I never did update about what happened at the dealership and parts store. I bailed his car out of car jail on Tuesday morning with only a $46 bill, vs. the $90 I was told. I actually just left it there and they removed the dud battery for me, loaded it into my van and I went to the parts store. I showed him the bill and what they said and he took the dud battery, put a new one out in my car for me and apologized for the inconvenience. I decided not to press the issue with getting them to pay for the bill, more than anything I just wanted an apology. The dealership put in the new battery and washed his car up all pretty for me without charging me extra. My service coordinator was so pleasant that I decided to order some parts, and bring the car back for some other things it needs done before we move.

Because I have to arrange for them to shuttle me back and forth to the dealership, I decided tonight I would take it in, this time to fix a couple cosmetic things and repair his remote start & alarm. After the recent battery incident, it sure made me appreciate my dealership. I have always hated finding and trusting new mechanics, because you hear so many horror stories of shady mechanics. The disadvantage of moving so often, is you get to start over at a new city, and have to find all new services. This is why I love the Google Age so much, word of mouth has always been the way I find businesses, but if that is not available, I am all about the review sites. I have never been a fan of flipping through the phone book.

I found this new website today, called RepairPal that is pretty interesting. You can put in information about your car, repair needed, and zipcode and they will not only give you a range to expect the estimate to be, but shops nearby with peer reviews, which would look like this page showing some San Fransisco auto repair shops. Out of curiosity I put in his Civic and pretended it really had needed an alternator and it came up with a very comprehensive report. Not only did it tell me the range of costs I would be expecting for parts & labor, but then it also gives me recommendations of things I make sure are done (i.e. which other tests I make sure they do) and explanations of symptoms and other necessary repairs that may be necessary. Not just that, then maps out shops in my areas with reviews.

The other helpful part of the website is you can enter a specific make, model and year of a vehicle and get reviews, common problems, recalls, etc. So if you wanted to learn more about a 2001 Honda Accord, it would be easy to look up ratings, reviews, recalls, and common mechanical problems. Other neat features are a car encyclopedia, in case you wanted to look up what a timing belt replacement entails; and a section called My Car where you can keep track of your maintenance and repair records, plus get reminders, recall information and service reminders, and best of all it is all FREE!

When we move next month, it is nice knowing I will be able to find a place to take our cars that I can trust, I am extremely loyal to my service center and look forward to finding a place that can take care of all of our car needs, from oil changes, to mechanical repairs.

1 Comment | In: People, Places & Things | tags: Auto Stuff, Bobby, Me, Sponsored. | #

Hubby’s car hasn’t been starting for months. I figured it was just cold from not being run regularly. Jumped it tonight and ran it all over town for an hour. Took it to the auto supply store for a quick battery check and it showed after all that driving and assuming I was charging the battery, I turned off the car and it was dead. The computer showed my battery was completely dead, despite only being 6 months old. Now we are thinking the alternator is dying, so Monday I get to jump it again and take it to the dealership. Thankfully it only dies when I turn it off, for now at least.

Of course all this would be easier if my teenager hadn’t lost my keys while I was out…. that is just my luck, huh?

No Comments | In: This is how I roll | tags: Austin, Auto Stuff, Bobby, Lame-o, Ramblings. | #

*Now, with working pictures!!*

Wow, what a whirlwind of the last 3 months. I had a GLORIOUS summer. First vacation was up to Glenwood Hot Springs a few hours northeast of here in Glenwood Colorado.

The drive was gorgeous, the kids loved all the tunnels and the hot springs were amazing. The pool was a city block and so comfortable. Sophie fell asleep floating in my arms several times.

The next weekend we went to Canon City about an hour from here to camp in these amazing little one bedroom (sleeps 6) cabin with a full kitchen and bathroom. We stayed at a Yogi Bear campground, so the kids were super busy with activities and contests. Austin did an essay for a contest on his dad since we were there for father’s day and made me cry.

As soon as we were unpacked from Yogi I packed up the 4 kids and two large dogs and drove 1200 miles to visit my family. I got to spend a few days in Montana with my oldest sister and her 5 little ones (sorta, two teens, a tween, the youngest two are the most adorable twin toddler girls!!) After that I went to my parents land in Idaho where we spent the 4th of July on the beach, picked huckleberries, and enjoyed each others company. My grandparents came over from Montana to see us and it was so wonderful to see them again. Then we headed back to Spokane were we went back and forth between Spokane and the cabin in Idaho for the rest of the month. I also got to see my other sister and her two kids who are just amazing kids. My niece writes music and plays them on the guitar and athletic and confident and just a remarkable young woman. Here are a few pictures of our time in Priest Lake:

Two days after we returned from Idaho, Bobby came home from Iraq for 3 weeks. Our anniversary is July 28th and he flew home the afternoon of the 27th so with the help of my friend Tracie I was able to plan an amazing little getaway. We went to a super nice restaurant in town and then I surprised him with an overnight stay in a gorgeous suite at a 4 star hotel at the Cliff House in Manitou Springs. They had a bottle of wine and chocolate covered strawberries and a rose waiting for us when we arrived.

Then we were off for our family vacation to Disney World!! The kids had NO idea where we were going so when we missed our flight they were super bummed. A night at the Hilton near the airport and all was forgotten.

When we finally made it to Orlando we had so much fun. The weather was hot and muggy but we did not mind. The park was crowded and the lines were long but we barely noticed. By the end of the day we were so happy we had rented a house and had our own rooms to go to and a full kitchen so we could just grab a bowl of cereal and crash for the night. We spent two days at the Magic Kingdom.

Then we spent a day in Epcot, which really was not enough!

We also spent a day at Animal Kingdom, where my camera battery promptly died and a rushed day at Hollywood Studios because we were having a little get together with three families who live in Florida whom I have been friends with for seven years. Talk about a fun night!! The kids got along great, the men folk hit it off instantly, and we girls had a blast talking the night away.

Bobby’s vacation was over before we knew it and the boys headed back to school. Austin and Christopher are both in middle school this year and Matthew is in his last year of preschool.

They are enjoying school, except Austin had a problem with his math teacher. She was bullying him and talking down to him since day one. She seemed to single him out. Anyone who knows Austin knows this kid is a golden child. Today he *asked* me if he could put my laundry away for me and folded a basket of laundry without being asked and then put it away. The same child I heard tell his brothers “lets keep the kitchen clean, mom worked hard on it today”. Well his breaking point was when he was sitting on his feet so he could see his math book, he’s short like we are and the desks are bigger this year. The teacher yelled at him to sit on his butt and when he explained he could not see if he sat that way she told him “maybe you need to have your mommy send you in with a booster seat?!” Austin did not say anything, but went to the principal to demand a new teacher because he was tired of being treated like dirt and then having her demand his respect. The school still has not called to tell me of this incident or to apologize, but I have not called them either as I kind of fell like this is Austin’s battle, not mine and he is handling it like a true warrior!

Christopher has his ups and downs. On one hand he is helping out more to earn money to replace games he lost of Austin’s, he mowed the lawn for me tonight. On the other hand he is having problems with doing what he needs to do in a timely matter (getting ready for school, completing homework, etc) and he has had a few outbursts here and there that are uncalled for.

Matthew is having a hard time with preschool this year, he’s having some major separation issues and clings to me at drop-off. Once I leave he is fine, but man he wrenches at my heart strings. Today I was listening to music and he said to me “I sure like this song about them living in a lallow sub-barine!!” He’s a funny boy.

Other than that, we are trying to adjust to Sophie’s moods. She’s getting 4 molars in right now and her 4 front teeth are still trying to come in the rest of the way. If that is not bad enough, because of teething she is getting horrible bleeding diaper rashes so both ends are hurting her. She is talking up a storm and says “here you go” “go bye?” “yogurt” “mommy” “Austin” among all her other words. She’s a smart little thing and made her toy say bye-bye by cycling through other sounds until it came back to bye-bye again when I was pressuring her to wave bye-bye to me.

Bobby and I are doing well, 5 more months until he gets home and I am just trying to stay busy to help move time. I am also trying to get healthier and keep my house cleaner. I am trying to get into the habit of going to the gym on M, W & F when I drop the kids off at school. I have already started to see and feel changes in myself.

So, if you have made it this far, here is my massive update of why I have been MIA. I am hoping be around a little more now that school has started. If you want a link to *all* my Disney pics the link is here.

1 Comment | In: People, Places & Things | tags: Austin, Bobby, Christopher, Family, Finances, Matthew, Me, Photography, Silliness, Sophia, Vacations. | #

I have not had much time to update my blog, let alone breath, but I have a moment as we are just getting home camping in Canon City. The weekend before we were in Glenwood Spring at the hot springs for Sophie’s little friend Winter’s birthday, her party was Saturday. Seventeen days ago, my own little Sophia had her very first birthday. I am just in disbelief that my teeny tiny princess is already a year old. How time flies!! She’s got such a huge personality for such a teeny tiny little thing. She’s not walking or standing up yet by herself, but she is pulling up on stuff and walking along furniture A LOT. I imagine she will be 13-14 months before she walks, just like the rest of my kids.

Next week we will be driving home to WA state to go spend time with my family for 3-4 weeks, and then we will come home in time for Bobby to come home on leave for 3 weeks. We are planning a huge surprise family vacation, but I am not saying where until the airplane tickets are purchased and the vacation home rented. The kids start back at school 2 days before Bobby heads back to Iraq.

No Comments | In: People, Places & Things, This is how I roll | tags: Austin, Bobby, Christopher, Domestic Diva, Family, Matthew, Me, Milestones, Sophia, Vacations. | #

When Bobby went to Iraq, he had to put his degree on hold. That also means student loans that were on deferral until graduation, will soon be activated and moved into our debt snowball. I was so excited to be at 15% repaid, and now that I have added in this other debt, we are not only 10% repaid. This is very sad news to me. I was really hoping to pay off everything but the van before he returned from Iraq, but now it looks like we will still have the van and student loan debt.

Oh well, this only strengthens my resolve. What is another couple years of working hard to get debt free when the end result is the same. I am really hoping that when we sell the house we are able to make enough of a profit on it to pay down more debt, or at the very least not need to use the money we are saving for any shortcomings we will have at the time of sale.

We can do this. We will do this. We ARE doing this!!

1 Comment | In: Frugal, not cheap!, This is how I roll | tags: Bobby, Finances, School. | #