Mistakes in Motherhood

Nothing like purchases on the bank statement that you do not recognize to get your mind spinning and your pulse racing. I had two such charges tonight and they almost made me panic and get my free credit score. I knew they were probably something I could easily explain, especially with me traveling and spending at new places, but it got me thinking of the steps I would take if I really did have suspicious charges on your bank register:

• Look at the date of purchase and try to remember what you were doing that day. What did you eat? Where did you go? Who were you with? Remember, some times there is a delay, so try to think of the 1-3 days before the purchase date, especially on weekends.
• Google the name or better yet, if they provide an address you can almost guarantee google maps will jog your memory. I remember in Colorado Springs “SDI” would throw me off when I saw it on my bank statement. A quick google of SDI helped me remember the half priced drinks I had gotten that week for happy hour at Sonic Drive-In.
• Check your pockets/purse/wallet for receipts. Pending totals may differ from actual totals, especially for gas stations, hotels, or places with gratuity. You may remember spending $24 on a haircut, but the total may be pending as $19 if you left a $5 tip.
• If your bank provides a category, you may be able to narrow down what you were doing if/when you made the purchase.
• If you have a joint account, check with your spouse.
• If you shop online, scan your inbox, sometimes there is a delay in billing and if you ordered something days ago, but it is just now being shipped, there may be a phantom charge you don’t recognize.
• Call your bank, they can see phone numbers an addresses you may not be privy to on your end. They can also transfer you to their fraud unit if they deem the charges suspicious.
• If the fraud unit deems your account breached, they will freeze your account activity, cancel your card, and reissue you a new one.
• Follow up with the three major credit reporting bureaus to make sure nothing unusual shows up on your credit report to lower you credit score.

Thankfully, I was able to hunt down my recent receipts in my purse, and the mystery of the two phantom purchases were solved. 99.9% of the time it is an innocent mistake of forgetfulness, but it is nice to have an emergency plan in place on how to handle mystery charges.

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Okay, I am going to geek out on you guys here so bear with me. Six years ago, I set out on a quest to cloth diaper my kiddos after a girl in a pregnancy forum mentioned Fuzzi Bunz and I started looking into the modern cloth diaper. Fuzzi Bunz are a type of diaper called a “pocket diaper”. Rubber pants are a thing of the past and now most cloth diapers can be sorted into four categories:

• AIO, or All in One
• Pockets
• Covers
• Hybrid or All in Two

Let me go deeper into the difference. All the diapers mentioned above are just the main part of the diaper, and what make them waterproof. I will explain to you the difference between each one and discuss the pros, and cons.

All in One
The simplest of all cloth diapers to put on the baby and to prepare, these diapers are often called dad/babysitter/daycare friendly. This is because they truly are wash & go. These diapers have improved in the last five years and now are easier for to get cleaner in the wash and dry faster than the older AIO choices. Most now have an absorbent pad that either lays on top of the diaper, agitates out on the wash, or many other creative solutions. The older style had the absorbent layers sewn in, without any way to add extra layers for long car trips, sleep, or a heavy wetter. They also did not dry as fast, or get as clean. Manufacturers are listening and have come up with some wonderful creative solutions to solve the problems the older all-in-one diapers had. At $18-27 per diaper, AIOs tend to be the most expensive cloth solution.

Pockets
Also dad/babysitter/grandparent friendly are pocket diapers. That is because with a little more prep work than the AIO, the diaper can simply be snapped or hooked on with aplix or touchtape (think velcro-like). These diapers are what they sound like, a pocket. The layer closest to the baby is usually made up of suedecloth, fleece, or other stay dry material, like the outer layer is made of polyurethane laminate (PUL). The difference between a AIO and pocket, is that the pocket diaper alone has no absorbent properties. The second step to these diapers is then to stuff them with an insert, or a long, thin pad that pulls the moisture away from the baby and holds it until the baby is changed. Some of these inserts are made of microterry, hemp, cotton, or other similar material. Pocket diapers usually include some sort of insert, but many moms will chose to buy more to either add absorbancy, or upgrade the quality of washability/antimicrobial properties. The disadvantage of this diaper is that the opposite of stuffing, is unstuffing; the peed/pooped on insert must (usually) be removed from the diaper before they are washed. Some diapers have openings on both sides of the diaper, allowing the insert to agitate out in the wash. Depending on the quality of diaper, and if you chose to upgrade inserts, pocket diapers can run between $10-24.

Covers
Covers are the most economical and most versatile diaper of the three, however, it also has steepest learning curve of the three. Covers can be made of PUL, wool, or fleece. They can either enclose with snaps, hook & loop, or pull on. However, they cannot be used alone. The diaper must have something underneath it to catch the mess, these can include fitteds, which are made of bamboo, cotton, hemp, and snap or hook and loop onto the baby, with the cover then placed over the top. Another option is to use a prefold diaper, either hooked together with pins, or a Snappi (T shaped stretchy object, with small hooks that grip to the diaper and hold it closed), or folded and laid flat into the cover. The cheapest option is to use flats, or a large single layer of material, folded in various styles to improve absorbancy, and like the prefold, then laid into a cover, or closed with pins or a Snappi. The other advantage to a cover, is that they can be used for multiple changes, as long as the diaper is changed and the cover is not soiled. Some can be wiped dry, or like wool, can be worn many times before washing. If you use wool or fleece, the other advantage is breathability.

• Covers or wraps are usually made of PUL are the most common of the types of covers, the easiest to find commercially, and can be wiped out with a cloth wipe and re-used, unless soiled. PUL covers usually run around $10-18.
  
• Fleece either comes with pull on options, or fasten on like PUL covers. They can also be sewn as pants, shorts, or skirts. Like PUL covers, there is no need to wash these after a single use, they can be hung to dry an used until the end of the day, until soiled, or until stinky. Fleece also breathes better than PUL, and if you can sew can be made for the cost of materials. However, very few commercial manufacturers make fleece covers, so to get fleece your best option is etsy, or Hyenacart. Prices run from around $7-18.
  
• Wool covers are probably the most expensive of the three options to buy, but if you want to avoid man made products, wool is the very best choice. Like fleece, wool can come in covers that pull on, or wraps that button, and can come in pants, shorts, covers, or skirts. If you can knit, crochet, or know how to upcycle sweaters, wool can be inexpensive, however commercially made wool diapers can run from $30-90, and SAHM made can run from $10-50+. Wool also needs to be prepped once every 1-2 weeks by soaking in a solution of lanolin, baby shampoo, and water, and then laid flat to air dry. Wool must be hand washed, but with its antimicrobial properties does not need to be washed often and does not immediately get stinky.

Hybrid or All in Two
Similar to PUL wraps, hybrids are simply put a cloth/disposable option. Instead of putting a cloth diaper/insert into the hybrid (or just occasionally) hybrids can house a disposable option. A eco friendly soaker, that will either break down in a landfill, compost, or flush (depending on the manufacturer’s instructions) is placed into the cover, and when it is wet or soiled it is disposed of and a new disposable insert is put in. Some parents prefer this option when traveling, or when at daycare, and then use prefolds or inserts in them when not on the go. The advantage of this type of system is you are not carrying waste with you when you travel, the disadvantage is that even after the initial investment, the cost can keep accumulating. The cost is around $14-18 for the cover only, and disposable inserts run between $5-10 for 20.

Up front, diapers may seem like a big investment, but they will pay for themselves before the baby is born, even when you use the most expensive diapers. According to Diaper Decisions the cost of cloth is between 6 and 23 cents per diaper change, including the cost of washing. Where the cost of disposables is about 36 cents per diaper for the most common brand. That doesn’t even count the extra washes of clothing from blowouts. 30 to 13 cents may not seem like a lot, until you figure that if your child potty trains at 2 1/2, you will have changed 7200. At a minimum, you are saving between $1,000 to $2,200, now imagine how much more you would save if you re-used those same diapers on another child, or sold them when you were done to recoup between 50-75% of your original purchase price.

No Comments | In: A lot about nothing | tags: Cloth Diapers, Domestic Diva, Finances, Parenting, Something Worth Mentioning. | #

Obviously it will come as no shock to you that we are in a “housing crisis” as a nation. Housing prices inflated, banks gave loans to almost anyone who wanted one, and then gravity took over and what goes up, must come down and down went the market. Some states are recovering faster than others, and some cities in those states are recovering even faster, like La Jolla, California.

Part of why Bobby accepted the hardship tour overseas is because of the chilly economic climate. We own a home in Colorado that we cannot sell, and because of a second mortgage on it, we owe more than it is currently worth. We have so far gotten lucky with great tenants, who’s lease won’t expire for another year, but I worry if they decide not to renew the lease, if we will be so lucky a second time. Part of our plan is to pay off the second mortgage with his overseas pay, so we can eventually sell. Unfortunately, websites like Zillow, do not have me too hopeful. Some websites however do suggest the market it starting to turn around, like this article on the Denver real estate market.

Part of the problem, is that we purchased our home with a zero down home loan and took out an equity loan, when our home was at its peak value. Now, even with the market starting to stabilize a bit more, we still have not built our equity back up. Once our second is paid off, we should at least be able to sell for what we owe. Next time, we will listen to Dave Ramsey’s advice and put at least 20% down on a 15 year loan and spend no more than 40% of our income on housing costs.

Until our Colorado home is paid off, we will not even consider buying a home here in Washington, which is so sad because I really loved the freedom of home ownership. I still have not hung any of my paintings in the house because it never has felt like a home.

No Comments | In: A lot about nothing | tags: Finances, House Stuff, Sponsored. | #

A friend asked me the other day about Financial Peace University, the class Bobby and I took designed by Dave Ramsey. We learned a lot information, made a lot of changes, upped his live insurance, and got term life (not whole life, NEVER whole life) on me. It was pretty easy, but we are both young, and don’t smoke. What about those who are older though and looking for a senior life insurance policy?

But what about the senior who just doesn’t want to leave their family with burial costs? There is always the option of pricing final expense insurance rates, which would cover the cost of burial expenses alone. I imagine a policy like this would be good for the person who doesn’t want to pay for a full policy, has no joint debt, or is lacking assets and does not want their family to have to pay for their final expenses.

With so many great life insurance options, it does not make sense why so many families are left with a massive debt to cover the cost of burying their parent, or grandparent. Losing a loved one is difficult enough without having to leave your loved ones in debt.

(This post brought to you by your friends at http://www.burialinsurance.org)

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If you have a loan (credit card, auto loan, mortgage) call them and see if it would be worth it to refinance or lower your interest rate. About once a year for credit cards, you can call and tell them that you have been an excellent customer, with a strong history of paying on time, and you may even want to mention you are looking for a lower rate even if it means taking your business elsewhere. Especially now, with so many companies hurting for money, lower interest rates, and wanting to keep the customers they have, you may find it much easier to lower those rates.

I just realized today the power of credit unions, vs. banks. I currently have my minivan financed at a credit union for 8.75% for a vehicle I purchased 18 months ago. I decided today that I do not like that rate, and so I looked at the lowest rates my bank of 10 years had to offer… 5.25%, not bad. I called my credit union that hold my loan to see if they would negotiate refinance and they said they could offer me 4.99%, fantastic! With the numbers crunched, if I went to a 60 month loan (I have 66 months in my current loan), I would still manage to lower my monthly payments by $150 a month and pay it off 6 months earlier than I would now. They took my application over the phone and I should have an answer in a few hours.

In the past, I would do this same thing about once a year with my credit cards, and usually while I was on the phone I would have my answer. I could usually lower my interest rates by between 1-5% with a 15 minute phone call.

Other things worth trying… I have successfully had my satellite bill lowered by a customer service rep, I have had my DSL provider give me a “new customers only” rate by calling and asking. I have had credits given to me by my cell phone company, and my residential phone company. Calling your insurance company is a great way to see if they can find ways to lower your automobile or your homeowners insurance. I have had my electric company give me ways to lower my energy consumption, or tell me of improvements I can make to earn an energy rebate (I got $250 for sending in the receipt to my dryer).

Haggling is hard, but especially in mom & pop businesses, it is easier to get a discount. Yesterday I bought a new (better) tank for my carpet cleaner to replace mine that was cracked. I was told the tank would be $50 and I said “wow, those are $35 on amazon.com!” And the sales person said “well, if you order it online you will pay shipping, but I can sell it to you for $35″. You don’t see that at big corporate chains. I also got a few dollars off my purchase of cloth diapers yesterday… not because I asked, but because I was dealing with the owner of a small business and she felt like giving me a discount. Sometimes it pays to avoid the national “rollback” business and support your neighbors.

Once, I went into a toy & hobby store with my brood, and just because I told my children not to touch the models that someone worked very hard on making, the sales person gave me a “15% good mother discount”.

Deals are to be had in all economies, but right now is probably the very best time to find discounts and sales. Don’t be afraid to ask, the worst they can say is no. And remember, they best way to get something for 100% off, is not to but something you don’t need just because “it was on sale”.

No Comments | In: Frugal, not cheap!, This is how I roll | tags: A lot about nothing, Finances, Public Service Announcements. | #

*Now, with working pictures!!*

Wow, what a whirlwind of the last 3 months. I had a GLORIOUS summer. First vacation was up to Glenwood Hot Springs a few hours northeast of here in Glenwood Colorado.

The drive was gorgeous, the kids loved all the tunnels and the hot springs were amazing. The pool was a city block and so comfortable. Sophie fell asleep floating in my arms several times.

The next weekend we went to Canon City about an hour from here to camp in these amazing little one bedroom (sleeps 6) cabin with a full kitchen and bathroom. We stayed at a Yogi Bear campground, so the kids were super busy with activities and contests. Austin did an essay for a contest on his dad since we were there for father’s day and made me cry.

As soon as we were unpacked from Yogi I packed up the 4 kids and two large dogs and drove 1200 miles to visit my family. I got to spend a few days in Montana with my oldest sister and her 5 little ones (sorta, two teens, a tween, the youngest two are the most adorable twin toddler girls!!) After that I went to my parents land in Idaho where we spent the 4th of July on the beach, picked huckleberries, and enjoyed each others company. My grandparents came over from Montana to see us and it was so wonderful to see them again. Then we headed back to Spokane were we went back and forth between Spokane and the cabin in Idaho for the rest of the month. I also got to see my other sister and her two kids who are just amazing kids. My niece writes music and plays them on the guitar and athletic and confident and just a remarkable young woman. Here are a few pictures of our time in Priest Lake:

Two days after we returned from Idaho, Bobby came home from Iraq for 3 weeks. Our anniversary is July 28th and he flew home the afternoon of the 27th so with the help of my friend Tracie I was able to plan an amazing little getaway. We went to a super nice restaurant in town and then I surprised him with an overnight stay in a gorgeous suite at a 4 star hotel at the Cliff House in Manitou Springs. They had a bottle of wine and chocolate covered strawberries and a rose waiting for us when we arrived.

Then we were off for our family vacation to Disney World!! The kids had NO idea where we were going so when we missed our flight they were super bummed. A night at the Hilton near the airport and all was forgotten.

When we finally made it to Orlando we had so much fun. The weather was hot and muggy but we did not mind. The park was crowded and the lines were long but we barely noticed. By the end of the day we were so happy we had rented a house and had our own rooms to go to and a full kitchen so we could just grab a bowl of cereal and crash for the night. We spent two days at the Magic Kingdom.

Then we spent a day in Epcot, which really was not enough!

We also spent a day at Animal Kingdom, where my camera battery promptly died and a rushed day at Hollywood Studios because we were having a little get together with three families who live in Florida whom I have been friends with for seven years. Talk about a fun night!! The kids got along great, the men folk hit it off instantly, and we girls had a blast talking the night away.

Bobby’s vacation was over before we knew it and the boys headed back to school. Austin and Christopher are both in middle school this year and Matthew is in his last year of preschool.

They are enjoying school, except Austin had a problem with his math teacher. She was bullying him and talking down to him since day one. She seemed to single him out. Anyone who knows Austin knows this kid is a golden child. Today he *asked* me if he could put my laundry away for me and folded a basket of laundry without being asked and then put it away. The same child I heard tell his brothers “lets keep the kitchen clean, mom worked hard on it today”. Well his breaking point was when he was sitting on his feet so he could see his math book, he’s short like we are and the desks are bigger this year. The teacher yelled at him to sit on his butt and when he explained he could not see if he sat that way she told him “maybe you need to have your mommy send you in with a booster seat?!” Austin did not say anything, but went to the principal to demand a new teacher because he was tired of being treated like dirt and then having her demand his respect. The school still has not called to tell me of this incident or to apologize, but I have not called them either as I kind of fell like this is Austin’s battle, not mine and he is handling it like a true warrior!

Christopher has his ups and downs. On one hand he is helping out more to earn money to replace games he lost of Austin’s, he mowed the lawn for me tonight. On the other hand he is having problems with doing what he needs to do in a timely matter (getting ready for school, completing homework, etc) and he has had a few outbursts here and there that are uncalled for.

Matthew is having a hard time with preschool this year, he’s having some major separation issues and clings to me at drop-off. Once I leave he is fine, but man he wrenches at my heart strings. Today I was listening to music and he said to me “I sure like this song about them living in a lallow sub-barine!!” He’s a funny boy.

Other than that, we are trying to adjust to Sophie’s moods. She’s getting 4 molars in right now and her 4 front teeth are still trying to come in the rest of the way. If that is not bad enough, because of teething she is getting horrible bleeding diaper rashes so both ends are hurting her. She is talking up a storm and says “here you go” “go bye?” “yogurt” “mommy” “Austin” among all her other words. She’s a smart little thing and made her toy say bye-bye by cycling through other sounds until it came back to bye-bye again when I was pressuring her to wave bye-bye to me.

Bobby and I are doing well, 5 more months until he gets home and I am just trying to stay busy to help move time. I am also trying to get healthier and keep my house cleaner. I am trying to get into the habit of going to the gym on M, W & F when I drop the kids off at school. I have already started to see and feel changes in myself.

So, if you have made it this far, here is my massive update of why I have been MIA. I am hoping be around a little more now that school has started. If you want a link to *all* my Disney pics the link is here.

1 Comment | In: People, Places & Things | tags: Austin, Bobby, Christopher, Family, Finances, Matthew, Me, Photography, Silliness, Sophia, Vacations. | #

When Bobby went to Iraq, he had to put his degree on hold. That also means student loans that were on deferral until graduation, will soon be activated and moved into our debt snowball. I was so excited to be at 15% repaid, and now that I have added in this other debt, we are not only 10% repaid. This is very sad news to me. I was really hoping to pay off everything but the van before he returned from Iraq, but now it looks like we will still have the van and student loan debt.

Oh well, this only strengthens my resolve. What is another couple years of working hard to get debt free when the end result is the same. I am really hoping that when we sell the house we are able to make enough of a profit on it to pay down more debt, or at the very least not need to use the money we are saving for any shortcomings we will have at the time of sale.

We can do this. We will do this. We ARE doing this!!

1 Comment | In: Frugal, not cheap!, This is how I roll | tags: Bobby, Finances, School. | #

Things have been busy here to say the least. Matthew started running a fever after school on Wednesday, by Friday I had called his teacher to let her know I would see her after Spring Break. Saturday I took him to urgent care because Tylenol and Motrin were no longer keeping his fever down. He has an ear infection.

Sophie popped out her first tooth on Friday, and today seems to have a second one trying to squish out too.

Today I had a landscaping/fencing guy come over to the house to do an estimate. $8,000 after “military” discount, YIKES! This includes a new fence, updated sprinkler system with expansion to the back, sod in the back & front with rocks and a breezeway. Nothing fancy by all means, but I think it will really help give us some “curb appeal” which right now is pretty negative on the 10/-10 scale.

Wednesday I have a carpet guy coming out to give me an estimate for new carpet & linoleum. Before I pull the trigger on that, I really need to paint my bathroom… but before I can paint I need new light fixtures, which I bought tonight, and LOVE, except the people who built my home put the hole for the electrical 2 feet to the left of the center of the wall, so I cannot use the lights I just got and I am not loving any of the lights that I can find that are long enough to cover a hole of that size, since I would need a 48″ wide back plate. Wahhhhhh, I am so bummed!!

I also was planning on naming this blog post “I am not itching” but when I got back from Lowes my feet started itching so bad that I had to remove all the happy news of my itch FINALLY being gone. I guess I spoke too soon. I am hoping to go get a pedicure sometime this week, I think I deserve it!!

1 Comment | In: A lot about nothing, People, Places & Things | tags: Finances, House Stuff, Matthew, Me, Ranting, Sophia. | #

Tomorrow I graduate from Financial Peace University. It is going to be a big yummy potluck with an Italian theme. I am bringing broccoli salad, which is not very “Itialian-y” but it is a great potluck dish. I am thinking of making it tonight instead of trying to do it tomorrow after church, that way it gets to marinate a bit.

Of course this means I *have* to go grocery shopping today. Austin commented our fridge looked so empty this morning, I think it is time…. I think I have procrastinated it long enough.

No Comments | In: Frugal, not cheap!, This is how I roll | tags: Family, Finances, Ramblings. | #

So the 25th was a particular windy day, gorgeous and warm, but very windy. My friend Tracie and I had taken the kids (half of mine and her two) to Chick-fil-A because not only do they have yummy foods and healthy choices, but they have an awesome indoor play area that Matthew loves to pretend is his “tree-house home”. Matthew and Tracie’s oldest daughter were playing inside the play area, and Tracie and I are chatting while our babies shove food in their faces faster than we can break it apart. Sophie’s gaping maw had already hoovered down a chicken strip, two potato slices, 2 pieces of mandarin orange, a slice of apple, three grapes, a strawberry and two heaping spoonfuls of chicken noodle soup (without the soup) that contained carrots, celery, noodles, and chicken. She was happily sucking on a saltine cracker when an employee started asking anyone if they drove a blue Honda. Well, at home I have a dark blue Honda Civic, so when he came to our table I said no… my Honda Odyssey seems more of a silver to me (technically the color is “Slate Green Metallic” but it does not look green at all to me). So when he gets to the next table and asks them if they drive a “Blue Honda minivan I start to think maybe he is talking about me…. and he was.

Seems that he was trying to move, repair, or remove a sign when the wind took it for a ride, sending one of the stakes flying into my windshield of my 1-year-old minivan.

Of course everyone was super professional and the manager came over to apologize. I got a stack of free meals and free ice cream for everyone. They assured me that the damage would be fixed by their insurance company and thanked me for being so cool. Of course why wouldn’t I be?? It was not their fault, it was just a window, and no one was hurt.

The easiest way to fix the damage was just to replace it myself and submit the forms to their insurance company who called me the next day. They would have gladly done the work and paid for it themselves, but I was in a rush for the replacement, but not so much the funds now that we are on the Dave Ramsey plan. So bright and early the next morning I got a pretty new windshield. And since my van could not fit into the garage without and have the doors still accessible, it was a great excuse to rally the kids and get their help re-organizing the garage they had just been paid to clean.

I just got the paperwork notarized and will be mailing it to C-f-A’s insurance company in the morning, and I should have my money back in a week or two. The overall experience has been quite pleasant and I joked that Colorado is bad on cars and in the first year of ownership the Civic had already been painted twice… first because of a wind/sand storm that pitted all my paint and glass. The second time because of hail.

I just hope that Northern Virginia is nicer on my poor cars!!

I forgot the very best part… So when I picked up Austin (age 12) from school, I told him how it happened. Well he suddenly fell very quiet, serious and deep in thought. Finally, when we got home he looked it over a few times and said…”what I don’t get mom, is why they would use steaks to hold up a sign, I mean is steak even heavy enough to hold down a sign, and how did a hunk of meat break your window….?” When I finally caught my breath from laughing so hard, all I could say between fits of laughter was “Austin…. STAKES…. like tent stakes” to which her responded the word he is most famous for.

“Oh”

3 Comments | In: People, Places & Things | tags: A lot about nothing, Finances, House Stuff, Photography, Silliness. | #