Mistakes in Motherhood

A few weeks ago I described a situation as blissfully chaotic to my friend Terri and she thought I was maybe a bit blissfully insane.

I think it could explain my own home today. Matthew is walking around without pants (just a onsie & a diaper) and a sock on his right hand. Austin & Christopher are doing homework if you can call it that. I keep having to remind them to stay on track and quit talking. Matthew and I are learning our signs and animal noises for pig, horse and cow today. He seems to have the sounds down, but the signs are kind of hard. He already signs bird, duck, cat, fish, and dog.

Chloe is rolling around on her back trying to scratch an itch, I swear my Golden can take up an entire room.

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Well shit. Austin’s mosquito fish he brought home from school looks pregnant. He told me this the other day but I did not believe him. Now I do. She is getting a HUGE belly and has a large gravid spot. Not sure if I will say anything to Austin anytime soon. We probably won’t do anything to save the babies and I don’t think he will notice them down in the plants before they all get eaten.

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Well the dog food mix up is taken care of. I am sure you all laid awake worrying about my poor starving Chloe.

DH took the day off today because:

1. He felt like it
2. He can
3. They are not dipping into his paid time off, but he’s still getting paid today.

So, I made him actually get showered and dressed and take a break from playing video games to go with me to the feed store to get the RIGHT dog food. He lost the receipt so I was worried they would not exchange it, but I guess that is one of the perks with dealing with a small busienss. The two brands were the same price, so she just told us to drop off the old one, grab a new one, and she would make it OK in the computer.

Of course, the whole drive there and home he’s making smart ass comments about how he does NOT know this neighborhood (I commented yesterday that we are over in that part of town all the time and he SHOULD know his way around).

“I would not have known to take that street”, “wow, I am glad YOU knew to take that shortcut, I would have never known it was there”.

Ugh, men!

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Bobby’s co-worker loves the Dog Whisperer and has rubbed off on my husband. He got me interested when I watched some clips on the National Geographic Channel Website. Cesar Millan does some very impressive work with some very bad dogs. Many of these dogs are aggressive, shy, or just plain crazy! We just added The Dog Whisperer to our season pass manager and today four recorded for our enjoyment.

Today we have seen dogs that attack people, other animals, dogs who are too laid back and have to be carried or drug from place to place, to dos who are so timid they are . Cesar has some AMAZING animal mojo, and I am so impressed on how well he can whip these dogs into shape.

The pictures on this page are of my dog, Chloe who is napping in our family room with us right now. She’s not an aggressive dog, that is for sure, but we will be trying some of the lessons Cesar Millan shows us to teach her how to properly great house-guests.

PS. The title of this blog is an actual Cesar Millan quote from a show on a sheep dog named Kobe.

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The fish all made it through the night… not only did they just ‘survive’ but they seem to be thriving. When Matthew and I went down to feed them this morning, the light was already on, so I knew Austin and Christopher had already checked in on them. Thank goodness they made it! I would be said if THEY had found a dead fish. Most of them have been named… the shark is Jeremy, the angel fish is Isabella, the mosquito fish is Scarlet, and the rest of the names escape me at the moment. I am thinking of printing out a little ‘name tag’ of sorts since I am the one always assigned to remember all the names… since I won’t be able to remember fish names, I feel some sort of labeling is in order.

Matthew has also learned the sign for “fish” which is made by taking your right hand and mimicking a fish gracefully swimming in the water (you can look up the two-handed version HERE if you want to see what it really like). Well, Matthew’s version of fish is less graceful and looks more like a fish out of water flopping on its side either dying, or trying to thrust himself back into the water… but hey, HE knows what he means, WE know what he means, so a fish is a fish… swimming OR dying, it does not matter.

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I stand corrected… it is not a guppy, it’s a mosquito fish.

The fish tank on Craig’s list was a very good deal. It has at least 5 varieties of living plants, and came with heater, filter, pump, bubble maker, and lights. It also came with two fish (angel fish and a siamese algae eater) and snails.

So after we got the tank set up in the basement and visited with the neighbors, Austin and I went to PetSmart to get a few more fish. Ha! We ended up bringing 5 more home, plus an assortment of cleaning stuff, and food.

We got a pictus cat, a clown loach, an albino rainbow shark, a cory cat, and a columbian shark.

All the fish are in their new home… except the mosquito fish… how is that for irony?

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Austin brought home a fish from school yesterday, its a simple female guppy in a couple 2 liter bottles. Basically his project was to make a complete ecosystem in a small area. I found a nice explanation with pictures here. Well… this situation is much like the book If you Give a Mouse a Cookie in that now we have a guppy, but no tank. So last night I found a reasonable tank on Craig’s List and we will be going to view it tonight. Turns out, the person lives about two blocks away!

So, if the school gets your son a guppy, the child will bring it home. When the child brings it home, the mom will take pity on it and buy it an aquarium to live in. When the mom gets the aquarium home, she will think it needs a new aquarium hood. When the family gets to the pet store to get aquarium hood, they will look at the fish and decide to get more fish for the guppy to have company. If the family eventualy buys too many fish, they will buy a bigger tank.

And this is where I am determined to stop the vicious cycle. The things we do for our children!

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While watching David Letterman last night I saw a guest on there named Ruth Regina, who has cornered a market that I guess I did not need cornered. She is a custom wig designer who makes “Quality Wigs and Hairpieces for Men & Women”… what she did not mention in her slogan is that she also makes hairpieces for man’s best friend. Yes. For DOGS. Check out these pictures of dogs in wigs on her website. I got such a good laugh at looking at those poor pups. Imagine Chloe in a wig!

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As much as I would like them to admit it, my cats have a catnip addiction, and they are in complete denial. They think they can quit at any time, but when it is available, they cannot resist eating this addictive herb. They also get possessive and aggressive over their stashes.

Tonight, Matthew got into the pet cupboard and opened a tub of catnip I had and within minutes the kitties were rolling on the kitchen floor, rubbing against Matthew, and Jacob was even laying on his back staring at the undersides of the dining chairs while playing in the rungs with his paws. After such a sweet display over a sprinkle, I figured they could handle a little bit more responsibly.

So Matthew and I called the kitties into the living room and I let him toss a handful on the carpet. Immediately it was a cat-cage-match as they got onto their hind legs and started boxing each other with their front paws. Already I saw trouble brewing, but because I wanted to avoid any casualties, against my better judgment a decided to make a second pile of catnip for Desiree.

After laying on his stash for 20 minutes, Jacob decided to fight Desiree for her pile, and once again there was peace. He finally got back up again and started chasing after invisible-nothingness, and then rubbed all over the dog, who did not appreciate being molested by the cat.

The cats are now blissfully stoned, lying on the couch, being lazy and seemingly satisfied. Tell you what though, after one night of cat craziness, I won’t be rushing to give them catnip anytime soon! F’in lushes!

No Comments | In: Uncategorized | tags: Fur Babies/Pets, Silliness, Sleep Deprivation. | #

Last night was NOT a nice sleeping night. We got home from Taekwondo at 8pm, so the boys did not get to sleep until nearly 9pm. I told the little angels to shower when I woke them up at 6am. I had a hard time falling asleep until nearly 1am. I got up at least a half dozen times in the night to go to the bathroom, the new blood pressure medicine is a diuretic. Between waking up to pee and a reacquiring nightmare I was having I was pretty restless. At 4am I head water running and saw light in the hallway. The older two had woken up two hours early and thought it was time to get ready for school; they were taking turns showering. I finally got them back to bed and within 5 minutes of laying back down the cat starts howling at the door thinking it is breakfast time. So I had to get up again and let him out. Within 10 minutes he realized that the kids were back in bed and breakfast was a lost cause and wanted back into his warm bed so the howling started up again. I finally fell back asleep and my alarm starts going off, so I get up and wake up the older two boys who have NO idea how to get ready for school quietly. I went back to sleep again and got about an hours sleep when I started dreaming that I was playing a die game with a group of people and could hear Matthew crying. In my dream I was getting up from my table to bring him back nurse him when Bobby brought him into me. I am so tired!

No Comments | In: Uncategorized | tags: Austin, Christopher, Fur Babies/Pets, Matthew, Ramblings, Sleep Deprivation. | #