Mistakes in Motherhood

Yesterday evening I had writing out a whiny, negative status about the lack of housing I was finding with my pets, and I decided, if I wanted to attract positive, I needed to think positive, so I deleted my whine, and wrote a very positive message Tomorrow will be a better day. Tomorrow will give us more positive leads on pet friendly homes. We WILL find the perfect home soon. And the government will give us an definite answer soon. The Washington State move is going to go GREAT! Let this become my new affirmation. This all came from a series of phone calls from a large rental agency in Olympia with about 10 homes in our price range, with the numbers of bedrooms we need, who claimed to be “pet friendly” who told us that with our two dogs, and three cats, that they have absolutely no rentals that would allow my number of pets, and told me they imagine no one would.

My mood after this phone call was so low that all I wanted to do was whine and vent and cry, but when I chose to be positive about it and post the positive message, my mood became more positive and immediately I was contacted by a home owner who was willing to consider us, despite our number of pets. Even though he has yet to give me an answer (same with the government, they have yet to give us a 100%), I remain more positive, because if someone is willing to say maybe, someone WILL say yes. This is the far cry from the “no one” I was told, and allowed me to get down in the dumps.

Today, I was emailed by another company, and they gave me a choice of 6 houses, but when I told them about my pets, they told me of a house that was the same price as the other ones, but nearly 1,000 square feet larger where it would be fine for me to have my animals. So now I have one for sure I can look at, and now four houses that are maybes. I am confident that in less than a week we will have our definite answer from his company, as well as have housing secured.

Next time you start feeling down in the dumps, just remember the power of the positive and see how much you can make a difficult situation turn around!

No Comments | In: A lot about nothing | tags: Fur Babies/Pets, House Stuff, Insanity, Me, Moving. | #

I am so sore today, I have found all the muscles in my body, especially in my butt. This morning while crawling into my van I actually checked to see if I was sitting on something…. nope, it was just my swollen glutes. My hands felt bruised when holding the steering wheel. I felt beat up. How did I sustain these injuries? Well, for one, it was a direct result of not listening. It was a secondary response to me not realizing when I was out of my league.

Let’s start at the beginning. Yesterday I was bored. It was 2pm and I was up the night before until 4am so I was feeling tired and stir crazy and I decided a nice fall walk in the unseasonably warm weather would be just what I need. I posed an invitation to my local friends on Facebook to suggest a great place to visit with the baby on my back, the three kids on foot, and our two large dogs. It was suggested that I take the kids & dogs to Helen Hunt Falls. I stopped by the grocery store on the way and got energy bars and we had water bottles, a backpack and were ready to go. My GPS could not find Helen Hunt falls, so I set it to Seven Falls, a pay-to-visit area nearby the free Helen Hunt Falls. I now know this was my first mistake.

It was a beautiful drive once I got to the Broadmoor area of town. The temperature was near perfect, the air was clean and crisp. The trees were a lush array of yellows and reds and there was a small dusting of leaves below them. The red rocks towered above us, as the road narrowed to a small guard-post where we paid our $20 entrance fee. This is what lead to the second mistake.

We head a couple miles up a very narrow road to the parking area and chaotically unload kids and pets and jackets and packs. I put the baby in a pack on my back and take the Great Dane. Christopher gets the backpack as the Golden Retriever is too much for him to handle. The dogs excitedly yank us up the hill to the falls pulling us to each new person, smell, chipmunk, or dog.

The visitor center had a small walk-through next to a stream on the left of it. The water was crystal clear and small fish swam around. If you have ever been to Disney and been on splash mountain, you will remember how happy the ride was until moments before you took the death defying plunge to the bottom. I felt much this way as the stairs emerged before us. Remember where I said paying $20 was my second mistake? That is because I figured if we paid for it, we might as well enjoy it, right? So the sign at the bottom of the falls warn you that the climb is 224 steps. Two HUNDRED and twenty four.

It was probably around step 50 and the dogs freaked out with the height that I realized what a huge mistake I had made. I was cursing the friend who recommended this death trap and feeling overwhelmed by a 95 pound dog who’s attitude about the steps is to just run up as fast as she could to get it over with, dragging me and the baby along with her.

At the first platform we took a small break to drink a little water and mentally prep for the second climb. There was another woman with a tiny toy poodle and a baby. My dogs were trying to mess with the puppy and felt like they were pulling our arms out of our sockets in order to sniff the puppy. When the stairs cleared I decided we had better press on while we could.

It was about halfway up the second set of stairs that I felt like my lungs were about to explode. Matthew was scared and clinging to the rails, Isis was trying to drag me up to be with Austin and Chloe, and I feel like I am going to die. There were people waiting at the top to climb down so I pressed on, red faced, out of shape, and winded.

At the top of the stairs, there was another 2 hour round trip to Helen Hunt’s burial site, but at 4pm I started freaking out that we had started way too late, that I was exhausted, and most importantly that we had to get the dogs back down those steps, potentially in the dark! Austin and I were deciding how we were going to get the dogs down the stairs and I think we had just decided that when we got back to the stairs, that Austin and Chris would go down with one dog, and Chris would wait at the bottom with the one dog, while Austin would climb back up to get the other dog and head down again. At about this time a gentleman approached us and said that they would be closing the path soon and that he would be happy to take one of the dogs down half way for us so I could use two hands to hold onto the rail with the baby on my back. On the middle landing, a young gentleman offered to take the dog the rest of the way down so our first volunteer could wait for his wife to come down the stairs.

About this time I was feeling pretty bummed that we could not finish our hike, so we decided to take the mountain elevator to the other side of the canyon to see views of the falls.

The falls were gorgeous, although I do wish they had been more swollen with water. I bet in the spring when the snow is melting they are an amazing sight.

I will really miss the red rocks of Colorado. By this time I was already looking forward to taking another hike through Garden of the Gods one last time before we leave Colorado.

Sophie was pretty bored with the whole trip, she didn’t quite understand why I would not let her climb up the stairs that were no more than plastic steps supported by a single beam in the center of the steps and handrails.

The little boys had a good time, even if they did not get to finish the hike.

We took the scenic drive on the way home and decided I would take the boys out to dinner for the fist time in months after I showered. While in the shower I realized that my friend had NOT recommended Seven Falls, where we had gone. But a lesser waterfall down the road in a free area without any stairs! Next time I will run in and mapquest driving directions to any place that my GPS cannot find, and I won’t push the kids and dogs and I up an area that is too much for us. I don’t regret the trip at all, I just wish we had left the dogs at home and gone earlier to be able to take the two hour hike.

1 Comment | In: People, Places & Things, This is how I roll | tags: Family, Fur Babies/Pets, Insanity, Me, Photography, Vacations. | #

Tuesday night, around midnight, I head a loud ruckus of heavy items being drug across the sidewalk, people talking loudly, and similar noises. I looked out the window and the NFH’s were parking at the end of my driveway, loading tons of people and stuff into a SUV. I rolled my eyes and headed to bed. The next day….. nothing. I see the person in the NFH household take the two trashcans to the curb, and about a dozen bags… but they were facing the street the way the trash company requests for easy pickup. I can almost envision the waste management person grinning, as I see them out there almost every week trying to get the cans turned around and picking up all the stuff overflowing.

It was a gorgeous day outside yesterday, absolutely beautiful, so all day we worked in the yard getting it cleaned. Only once did I hear their dog barking in the back yard. It stopped almost as soon as it started as he was brought into the house. Then last night, no music, no visitors, no parties…. I was in shock!

However, stupid and inconsideration are qualities you can depend on. If the expected parties don’t offer it, you should expect someone else to, and that is just what happened.

Around 7pm I hear a dog barking, deep throaty LOUD barks. woofwoofwoofwoofwoof. The dog is not even taking breaks to breathe. woofwooofwooofwoofwoof. After 3 hours of it I am starting to slowly feel my soul dying. woofwoofwoofwoofwoof. I go out in the front yard to see if the pitbull is sticking his head out one of the bedroom windows next door and is causing all that noise. I go out front, I see nothing… no cars, no dog, nothing. But I still hear the dog; woofwoofwoofwoofwoof. I go out in the back yard, the noise is even louder. We had some people visiting my neighbors on the *other* side of my house that had two large huskies that would sometimes bark, but those neighbors would never let any of their dogs bark 3 hours. I turn on my floodlight in the back and there it is. Directly behind the NFH is the person who volunteered to pick up their slack. Locked onto the back deck, these new idiots had trapped a 150+ male Great Dane who was not too happy about being confined. woofwoofwoofwoofwoof. We are not on hour FIVE and I am wondering two things… why have they not brought the dog inside? and how is the dog not hoarse??

I figure I will just go to bed, since my bedroom is in the front of my house, no way it will bother me, right? Wrong. woofwoofwoofwoofwoof. His voice carries through three back yards all the way to the front of my house. I turn on my fan, turn my TV to a music channel and set the sleep timer. I still hear him, but it does not bother me anymore. It does however bother *my* Great Dane who is downstairs, in her crate that she sleeps in, barking back!! Her bark is her insecure, whiny bark. I yell at her the few times she does it, and she finally gets the hint.

What gives? I *finally* have all four kids healthy, no coughing child across the hall, no parties or 7-11 type traffic next door, and someone leaves their dog outside all night? Is this karma for flipping off that little old blue haired lady??

No Comments | In: This is how I roll | tags: Fur Babies/Pets, Insanity, Me, NFH (Neighbors From Hell), Ranting. | #

There are days when I struggle with motherhood. I mean REALLY struggle. Just today I was telling my husband how frustrated I am in my kids’ lack of responsibility with the animals. We have a horrible mean pitbull living next door ripping holes in my fence and it is just a matter of time before it gets through and kills or harms one of my dogs. So the rule is the dogs can be out for 2 minutes max until I can get the landscaping company to come out and replace my fence. So this morning I hear the dogs barking while I am nursing the baby. Ten minutes pass, still barking, 15 minutes. I finally hit the conference button on the phone and broadcast that the dogs are STILL outside.

Also, the cats. Christopher’s job is to feed the cats and clean the litter boxes daily. Yet if I don’t nag, it does not get done and then they seek out my towels. So now every time I think I have a “clean” towel, I discover it smells like cat urine. Nice. Also, when I am trying to feed Sophia, I have three cats underfoot circling around my ankles because their food bowl is empty.

Bobby called today and I vented, I vented good. I told him how frustrated I was at their total lack of responsibility, how Austin pulled out a progress report while we were walking out the door and asked me to sign it because it was due today and I refused because we would have been late if I had to stop everything and look it over before I sign it. I am just plain sick of it.

So I told my husband how I was half tempted to load up the three cats and two dogs in the van and take them to a kennel for the weekend and board them. How tempted I am to tell the kids that I got rid of the animals because I found them families that would take better care of them. How tempted I am to tell them that if they did not love the animals enough to feed them, water them, and provide them with a clean place to poop and pee that they will go elsewhere.

BUT that would be mean. I am not about to punish my pets, or my four year old because of something my teen & tween did. I am a mean mom, but at the same time I don’t want to teach them that lying and trickery is OK. I struggle with where the line in the sand is sometimes. I struggle daily with trying to be effective without being too mean or too nice. I struggle with making the punishment fit the crime. I struggle with too many chores vs. too little chores. I have very good kids, and I believe I have good kids because my husband and I have always worked together and tried to be consistent, we have always given them responsibility, and we have never spoiled them with toys or candy because they held their breath or stomped their feet at the store.

I think with our family spread out like it is right now we are all feeling the stress and I feel less effective because I don’t have my partner here to back me up. I think he feels helpless because he wants to help and he wants to put his foot up their butts, but from that many thousands of miles away, what can you say? “Just wait, in four months, you are going to be sorry!”? And I think the kids are struggling too, they miss their dad and it is hard to stay motivated when you are sad, I get that. I just wish they would see how overwhelmed I am carrying their load on top of my own. I need to heal this fracture, or I will crumble under the weight of it all.

I don’t think this weekend is going to be a fun one, I can tell you that! Hmmmm, I wonder if I can figure out how to set up the parental controls on the TV??

2 Comments | In: This is how I roll | tags: Add new tag, Austin, Bobby, Christopher, Confessions, Domestic Diva, Family, Fur Babies/Pets, Insanity, Lame-o, Matthew, Me, Parenting, Ranting, Sadness, Tirade. | #

A Thank-You letter to Cindy from Cindysporch.net

Dear Cindy,
I want to thank you for your email thread with the subject line “Spring Cleaning Challenge #3: The Kid’s Rooms”. You sufficiently helped me traumatize my children for life, and almost made my 12 year old son cry.

Let me back up a bit… I am a mother of four, two preteens, a preschooler, and a prima donna, I mean a baby. My sons are 12, 11, and 4, and my daughter is 9 months old. I also have three cats, and two dogs who are over 85 lbs. Things got even crazier this February when my husband left for a year in Iraq as a military contractor. I would like to say my house normally just looks “lived in”, but truth be told there are times when it looks like World War III was just fought and a nuclear disaster was contained in my 1800 square foot home.

Your email could not have been read at a better time. Today we had a surprise blizzard here in Colorado, and because it is spring break, I have been hearing how bored my children are, or have had to pull them out of their Gameboys just to get them to clear their dishes from the table. What a brilliant day to play the “Clean your room or mom will kill you” game!! So I excitedly posted the link to the the spreadsheet in my Facebook status and printed out a copy. My four year old took quite a delight in running up to the printer to grab the game sheet and I handed them to my oldest son. His displeasure was easy to read; his face was red, his answers were curt and he looked like he could start crying at any minute.

To prove to him what a wuss he was being, I printed out a second sheet and told him I was going to do the same to my room. I even took the four year old up to “help” me and instructed the 11 year old that if he stopped working that he would would be grounded until the end of time.

Truth be told, the four year old was a lot of help. He made an awesome little “gofer” and had no problems fitting under the bed to push out CDs and books that found themselves held hostage under the bed by rogue dust bunnies. The children needed no prompting to get back to work or stay busy. They did need some reminding that Yu-Gi-Oh cards do not belong under dressers and that “clean dresser tops” does not mean to pile the junk right back on them as soon as you have dusted the tops off, however I think they earned an A-!

I soon found the cleaning was contagious though, because soon it spread and I found myself “accidentally” cleaning my bathroom mirror, which was not part of your list. The virus kept mutating and soon I was accidentally putting away pill bottles and mouthwash, tooth paste and mousse. Hair clips and nail clippers soon seemed to crawl into their drawers to escape the wrath. Next thing I know I am thinking how wonderful my cucumber melon all purpose would make the room smell and the counter, sink and toilet soon sparkled.

Before I knew it, my cluttered bedroom soon resembled a spa-like sanctuary. I now have a peaceful place to retreat to at the end of the day, and won’t have to worry about books and CDs crawling out from under the bed while I am sleeping and tying me up like in Gulliver’s Travels.

THANK YOU for giving me my sanity back and helping me to find a small slice of peace again. I LOVE my gorgeous bedroom and bathroom, I am really hoping having my rooms clean will inspire me to break out the gallons of paint I have had sitting out in the garage for weeks now and finish my redecoration project I have been putting off since I bought this house back in 2004.

Heather

1 Comment | In: People, Places & Things, This is how I roll | tags: Add new tag, Austin, Christopher, Domestic Diva, Family, Fur Babies/Pets, House Stuff, Matthew, Me, Parenting, Sons, Sophia. | #

After Sophie’s appointment with the Dermatologist (he gave her an all clear), we drove up to Denver for our mini-vacation at the aquarium. It was amazing!! There was a tour guide there, an elderly gentleman, who was very sweet and helpful, you could tell he loved his job.

There was a snapping turtle that was gigantic, he was super cool and graceful:

They also had a “flash flood” area with reptiles and a display on what would happen if there was a flash flood (click on thumbnails for a larger view):

In the shark tank, the tour guide said it was the sea turtles that were the agressive ones, not the sharks, not the puffer, not the saw fish.

We also saw a large assortment of corals, and sea horses in the tropical area:

We also got to pet the rays, surprisingly they were super soft.

But my favorite exhibit was the tigers, yes, tigers at an aquarium.


One of these guys was so close he was fogging up the glass, another guy jumped off of a rock to get a toy and was nose to nose with Bobby and I, literally just a couple inches of glass stood between our faces touching, it was incredible!

For lunch we ate at the restaurant surrounded by a tank that was probably 20 feet tall and spanned the entire length of the restaurant.

We ended up exhausted and decided to head home early, skipping a second destination, so it was time to drive home.

Christopher was the only one who did not fall asleep on the drive home… Matthew eventually fell asleep, that is after a 30 minute cry-fest when he realized we were not taking him to the dentist. He cried again when we pulled into our driveway and not the parking lot of his dentist. Silly boy!!

No Comments | In: People, Places & Things | tags: Austin, Bobby, Christopher, Family, Fur Babies/Pets, Humor, Matthew, Me, Photography, Sophia. | #

For the last week, we have fluctuated between needing windows open during the day, to actually needing the furnace on at night. We keep our house pretty cool at night and then all have heavy blankets, so it was time to dig out the down comforter and wash the duvet. I also washed the curtains, since they are red like the duvet and gave the room a nice vacuuming and airing out while it is warm enough to have windows open during the day. It actually snowed the other night, but it did not stick.

I baked a chicken last night, and saved the juices and bones and a breast so I could make chicken and dumplings today. This is a comfort meal that totally brings back great childhood memories. I had some carrots and celery that I tossed in, I would have added an onion had I had any on hand. It turned out well despite worries that I had burned the base ingredients… all I can say is THANK YOU super thick pots and pans. I totally needed a nice comfortable meal tonight. More about that when I can gather my thoughts and words for the next post.

PS. Don’t forget to replace your furnace filters! We did that last week and it was so furry that it looked like a third dog and a couple more cats, flattened and formed into the shape of a filter.

1 Comment | In: This is how I roll | tags: Domestic Diva, Family, Fur Babies/Pets, House Stuff, Memories. | #

So today Isis had her reunion that the breeder hosts every year for the families who have purchased dogs from them can all get their dogs together and let their dogs play, talk about how much they love their four legged family members and for the breeders to see all their “babies” grown up.

Bobby was feeling sick, so I worried the day would be a bust, but the weather was great, the kids were great, Bobby did not complain (much) and Isis had A BLAST! It was the first time we had let her roam off leash (it was hosted at a small neighborhood park) and she was so obedient and sweet, it was like she was a different dog. Her tail was up, she was socializing with the other dogs and people and she made sure she was never out of our sight.

The surprise of the day was when we ran into the boys’ old taekwondo teacher. He and his wife not only had a new puppy, but a brand new baby girl (like 10 days old). Master B. had met Isis when she was 8 months old and mentioned that he wanted a Dane more than anything and someday he would get Mrs. B to agree. Guess he finally wore her down! His pup, Bella, is ADORABLE and I look forward to some day getting another pup… of course this is like 10 years away, but I told Bobby he could pick out the next Dane, he plans on getting a male. I am hooked, I will never get another breed again.

No Comments | In: People, Places & Things | tags: Bobby, Fur Babies/Pets, Me, Taekwondo. | #

Miss Sophie got to wear the onsie that was passed from Christopher to Matthew to her. This was the very first baby gift I received and [start geekyness] it was given to me by the Sysop of the BBS I had been a member of for 3? 4? maybe even 5? years of my life at that time. [/end geekyness]

Sophie was called a boy at Best Buy today… I told myself after 3 boys, if I ever had a daughter she would never leave doubt in anyone’s mind as to her gender. Oops!

This morning, Sabin was a furry door mat, this is how I found him when I opened my bedroom door:

When I got up, my house was 78 degrees! Why? Because Matthew decided to turn the thermostat up and then move the button over to heat! HOLY HECK it was hot! I think he was trying to prepare my friend Julia for 100 degree heat for her trip back home to Vegas. We were very sad to see her go.

No Comments | In: People, Places & Things | tags: A lot about nothing, Christopher, Fur Babies/Pets, House Stuff, Insanity, Lame-o, Matthew, Me, Memories, Photography, Sons, Sophia, Technology. | #

Tomorrow I will be 38 weeks pregnant. Wow. I have 15 more days until my due date, which means I *should* have my baby in my arms within the next 29 days. Hopefully sooner than later, come on out little lady, mama wants to meet you! I am so crampy.

Sabin is still missing, we are now on day 5. I have filed a report with the humane society (and looked at all the kitties to see if he was there), contacted the company he is microchipped through. Talked to neighbors, call for him daily, Bobby walks the block with a flashlight each night after sunset. I set out some smelly food, but a neighbor kitty ate it all up. Now we just wait, and hope, that he finds his way home soon.

I had my home visit with my midwife on Tuesday, all is well and she seemed to get along well with Bobby. She told me that they way I was coughing, she could tell I did not read the manual that states I am not allowed to get sick at the end of pregnancy. LOL I am feeling a little better today, so hopefully I am not coughing when I am pushing.

The older boys only have a week left of school before summer vacation, I am really looking forward to having them home to help. Usually I dread it because they get *so bored*, but they are older and more mature and are SO helpful around the house.

My mom is coming to visit in 2 1/2 weeks, I am so excited to see her, it has been 3 years since her last visit at my house. Normally we all drive up to visit her since all my family is up north and I can visit everyone.

Bobby’s boss is coming next week to visit him from Texas. I told him I will try to wait until after his boss leaves and after the kids are out of school to have this little one, which is May 23rd, but realistically, this will probably be a June baby. I am just hoping she decides to come sooner than later so Grandma can meet her.

No Comments | In: A lot about nothing | tags: A lot about nothing, Austin, Bobby, Christopher, Family, Fur Babies/Pets, Health, Matthew, Me, School, Sons, Sophia, Updates. | #