Mistakes in Motherhood

I feel like I should be afraid of anything that plugs in today, I really do feel paranoid and that it is out to get me. What next? Is my ice-maker going to start pelting cubes at me? Do I have the anti-midas touch or something? Karmic debt from frying a motherboard 10 years ago?

This morning I wake up to the smoke detectors going off, all 8 of them, out of sync. The 12 yr old decided to turn his bagel into a piece of charcoal. So I get up, life goes on, right? Call the bank for an issue, 24 minutes on hold I give up, decide the issue is not worth it. Hubby and I make a wonderful breakfast, go to watch some shows on the DVR, and the Medium I have been wanting to see stopped recording 20 minutes into it.

Ok, well then I will just hook up my Wii and play my new game, Wii Active. Find the new cord I ordered (red/blue/green, new TV only has one input for red/white/yellow). I get the cord plugged in and Wii working (unsuccessfully at first, no sound) to find that we already had the cord I just ordered and waiting a week for an overpaid on shipping for, it must have come with one of the aftermarket accessory packs. Oh well, no use crying over spilled milk. Put Wii Active in and my console tells me I need to update! ARG! I have a temper tantrum and get over it. I go to plug in my aftermarket Wiichargable (sorry, couldn’t help it) battery pack for my WiiFit board- no dice, the light won’t come on. The 13 yr old brings me batteries, no dice. I get new batteries and finally it works.

So I set up the game, strap on the leg holster for the nunchuck and immediately it finds the ONLY workout I hate, running in place. As I am running, the leg holster starts slipping off, I tighten it, and I can feel a shooting pain down my leg as it constricts my blood flow and I feel like I have a bad case of sciatica. I finish my “run” just to have the very next exercise require the same torture device. Oh well, I will just play another game, I have 3 or 4 of them.

I put in WiiFit plus, load my profile, and I get the message “To start, please step off me and press A”… ok, I am not stepping on you, but ok… press A it recalculates and says the same message again. Turn the board on and off and same message. So I find a forum talking about how to fix it, make it through all the steps just to have the controller die. Get a new controller, it too is dead, in fact all five of them are dead. I guess the universe wants me to give up and be slovenly; I will try again in a few hours of them on the charger.

With facebook not working right, I really should be using this time more productively… I mean I do have a house to pre-pack, and hundreds of pounds of stuff I don’t plan on moving gone through and tossed or donated. I have boxes to fill up to save money on packing. I have beef stew to start, a fridge and freezer to clean, not to mention an entire house to clean. I would really like to be out of here in a week, but is that realistic?

Alright, I need to wrap this up to get back to stressing, err working. This will be behind us soon, we will be settled and happy and it will all be a distant memory. We have moved before, and we survived, and we will move again, there is no doubt.

No Comments | In: A lot about nothing | tags: Family, Insanity, Lame-o, Moving, Ramblings, Stress. | #

It’s been about 18 days since Bobby got home and it is unbelievable to me that it wasn’t just yesterday. These last few weeks have been a blur of activity, and I feel like I have not even had time to exhale, yet alone process. He’s spending a lot of time working at home, and my routine of taking kids to and from school, cleaning, and going to appointments has resumed. But the craziest thing of this is that we are *still* in limbo. We still do not have authorization to move! Yes, here we are at 16 days past the day I planned to be gone, and we don’t even know when and where we are going.

I cope by knitting another row onto an afghan I have been working on for two years. I listen to Bob Marley and remind myself that “every little thing, gonna be alright”, I drink tea and sometimes wine, and take walks and watch documentaries on Netflix. But no matter how much I distract myself, I am still frustrated that we still don’t have the information we thought we would have at the end of December; and every other Wednesday I am thankful that he still has a paycheck, and insurance, and a job, even if he is at home driving me nuts.

I used to romanticize the idea of working from home, but if anything, the last couple weeks has taught me that working from home is the equivalent at working in prison, with between one to five noisy cellmates hanging off of you like a bunch of baby orangutans. I sometimes wonder if he volunteers to go to the store in the evenings just to get away from it all, and even then he usually has to drag along a few primates with him. I really respect that he hasn’t gone all “Here’s Johnny!” on us and redrum-ed the kids and I.

So whenever I complain to myself that I am tired, frustrated, or frazzled (the trifecta of mommy-hood) I just remind myself that not only is he dealing with the same triple-punch, but on top of that has deadlines and reports and real-actual-get-paid-for-work that he has to complete without a nice, quiet space to run off to. Sometimes the silver lining is obvious, sometimes you have to dig deep to find it, but know that it is always there.

1 Comment | In: A lot about nothing | tags: Bobby, Domestic Diva, House Stuff, Insanity, Lame-o, Moving, Updates. | #

Today Bobby asked his boss if he is confident enough with sending us to Ft. Lewis that he would sign a lease if it were him and he got an email back that just said “call me”. Oh man, the proverbial “we have to talk”; that is never good news.

To sum it up, seems like the entire department is going to be going through an overhaul soon and they are not sure how this will change things, so they are trying not to move anyone until they have all the kinks worked out. So now we don’t know if Ft. Lewis is still on the table, and when we would need to be there. We were planning on being there in early February, but now it is impossible. On a positive note, while they are sorting things out he stays here & works from home, which means he can help me with pre-move purging.

Speaking of pre-move purging, we had a walk-through with Mayflower and we have about 3,000 pounds of stuff to get rid of to get our cost below what the company allows.

I refuse to lose hope, no one says this has to change the statement that we will be needed in Washington state. Purging will be good for us, we have a ton of stuff that has outgrown its usefulness that I just have not had a chance to remove, large bulky things I cannot move on my own. This is positive, really it is, I have to believe it, we just don’t know what it means yet.

No Comments | In: A lot about nothing | tags: Bobby, House Stuff, Insanity, Moving. | #

Yesterday evening I had writing out a whiny, negative status about the lack of housing I was finding with my pets, and I decided, if I wanted to attract positive, I needed to think positive, so I deleted my whine, and wrote a very positive message Tomorrow will be a better day. Tomorrow will give us more positive leads on pet friendly homes. We WILL find the perfect home soon. And the government will give us an definite answer soon. The Washington State move is going to go GREAT! Let this become my new affirmation. This all came from a series of phone calls from a large rental agency in Olympia with about 10 homes in our price range, with the numbers of bedrooms we need, who claimed to be “pet friendly” who told us that with our two dogs, and three cats, that they have absolutely no rentals that would allow my number of pets, and told me they imagine no one would.

My mood after this phone call was so low that all I wanted to do was whine and vent and cry, but when I chose to be positive about it and post the positive message, my mood became more positive and immediately I was contacted by a home owner who was willing to consider us, despite our number of pets. Even though he has yet to give me an answer (same with the government, they have yet to give us a 100%), I remain more positive, because if someone is willing to say maybe, someone WILL say yes. This is the far cry from the “no one” I was told, and allowed me to get down in the dumps.

Today, I was emailed by another company, and they gave me a choice of 6 houses, but when I told them about my pets, they told me of a house that was the same price as the other ones, but nearly 1,000 square feet larger where it would be fine for me to have my animals. So now I have one for sure I can look at, and now four houses that are maybes. I am confident that in less than a week we will have our definite answer from his company, as well as have housing secured.

Next time you start feeling down in the dumps, just remember the power of the positive and see how much you can make a difficult situation turn around!

No Comments | In: A lot about nothing | tags: Fur Babies/Pets, House Stuff, Insanity, Me, Moving. | #

…if you just did what you said you would!!

I mentioned the car problems we are having earlier with the battery/alternator issues. I had been told on the phone by the people who sold me the battery 6 months ago that they would keep my battery overnight, charge it and test it, sending me away with a loaner battery. I get there and they give me a different story, that my alternator is bad, battery is fine, just dead from a bad alternator. I asked for a loaner and they said no because they said my alternator would just kill it, and I need to just get a new alternator. They jump me and send me on my way.

Today I take it to my dealership to get a new alternator. They have be sign the consent form for the $90 test and drive me home. Today I get a message on my machine that they tested the car, the alternator is fine, but the battery won’t take a charge because it is a dud…. and now I am LIVID! If the place I bought my battery from had just done what they said and given me a loaner and tested mine, then I would have a new battery, and not had to spend $90 for nothing! Tomorrow I have to go demand a new battery and hope that they don’t treat me like I am an idiot again. I really feel like the battery place should pay me $90 for the test, but I have a feeling there will be icicles in hell before that happens.

1 Comment | In: A lot about nothing | tags: Auto Stuff, Insanity, Ranting. | #

I am so sore today, I have found all the muscles in my body, especially in my butt. This morning while crawling into my van I actually checked to see if I was sitting on something…. nope, it was just my swollen glutes. My hands felt bruised when holding the steering wheel. I felt beat up. How did I sustain these injuries? Well, for one, it was a direct result of not listening. It was a secondary response to me not realizing when I was out of my league.

Let’s start at the beginning. Yesterday I was bored. It was 2pm and I was up the night before until 4am so I was feeling tired and stir crazy and I decided a nice fall walk in the unseasonably warm weather would be just what I need. I posed an invitation to my local friends on Facebook to suggest a great place to visit with the baby on my back, the three kids on foot, and our two large dogs. It was suggested that I take the kids & dogs to Helen Hunt Falls. I stopped by the grocery store on the way and got energy bars and we had water bottles, a backpack and were ready to go. My GPS could not find Helen Hunt falls, so I set it to Seven Falls, a pay-to-visit area nearby the free Helen Hunt Falls. I now know this was my first mistake.

It was a beautiful drive once I got to the Broadmoor area of town. The temperature was near perfect, the air was clean and crisp. The trees were a lush array of yellows and reds and there was a small dusting of leaves below them. The red rocks towered above us, as the road narrowed to a small guard-post where we paid our $20 entrance fee. This is what lead to the second mistake.

We head a couple miles up a very narrow road to the parking area and chaotically unload kids and pets and jackets and packs. I put the baby in a pack on my back and take the Great Dane. Christopher gets the backpack as the Golden Retriever is too much for him to handle. The dogs excitedly yank us up the hill to the falls pulling us to each new person, smell, chipmunk, or dog.

The visitor center had a small walk-through next to a stream on the left of it. The water was crystal clear and small fish swam around. If you have ever been to Disney and been on splash mountain, you will remember how happy the ride was until moments before you took the death defying plunge to the bottom. I felt much this way as the stairs emerged before us. Remember where I said paying $20 was my second mistake? That is because I figured if we paid for it, we might as well enjoy it, right? So the sign at the bottom of the falls warn you that the climb is 224 steps. Two HUNDRED and twenty four.

It was probably around step 50 and the dogs freaked out with the height that I realized what a huge mistake I had made. I was cursing the friend who recommended this death trap and feeling overwhelmed by a 95 pound dog who’s attitude about the steps is to just run up as fast as she could to get it over with, dragging me and the baby along with her.

At the first platform we took a small break to drink a little water and mentally prep for the second climb. There was another woman with a tiny toy poodle and a baby. My dogs were trying to mess with the puppy and felt like they were pulling our arms out of our sockets in order to sniff the puppy. When the stairs cleared I decided we had better press on while we could.

It was about halfway up the second set of stairs that I felt like my lungs were about to explode. Matthew was scared and clinging to the rails, Isis was trying to drag me up to be with Austin and Chloe, and I feel like I am going to die. There were people waiting at the top to climb down so I pressed on, red faced, out of shape, and winded.

At the top of the stairs, there was another 2 hour round trip to Helen Hunt’s burial site, but at 4pm I started freaking out that we had started way too late, that I was exhausted, and most importantly that we had to get the dogs back down those steps, potentially in the dark! Austin and I were deciding how we were going to get the dogs down the stairs and I think we had just decided that when we got back to the stairs, that Austin and Chris would go down with one dog, and Chris would wait at the bottom with the one dog, while Austin would climb back up to get the other dog and head down again. At about this time a gentleman approached us and said that they would be closing the path soon and that he would be happy to take one of the dogs down half way for us so I could use two hands to hold onto the rail with the baby on my back. On the middle landing, a young gentleman offered to take the dog the rest of the way down so our first volunteer could wait for his wife to come down the stairs.

About this time I was feeling pretty bummed that we could not finish our hike, so we decided to take the mountain elevator to the other side of the canyon to see views of the falls.

The falls were gorgeous, although I do wish they had been more swollen with water. I bet in the spring when the snow is melting they are an amazing sight.

I will really miss the red rocks of Colorado. By this time I was already looking forward to taking another hike through Garden of the Gods one last time before we leave Colorado.

Sophie was pretty bored with the whole trip, she didn’t quite understand why I would not let her climb up the stairs that were no more than plastic steps supported by a single beam in the center of the steps and handrails.

The little boys had a good time, even if they did not get to finish the hike.

We took the scenic drive on the way home and decided I would take the boys out to dinner for the fist time in months after I showered. While in the shower I realized that my friend had NOT recommended Seven Falls, where we had gone. But a lesser waterfall down the road in a free area without any stairs! Next time I will run in and mapquest driving directions to any place that my GPS cannot find, and I won’t push the kids and dogs and I up an area that is too much for us. I don’t regret the trip at all, I just wish we had left the dogs at home and gone earlier to be able to take the two hour hike.

1 Comment | In: People, Places & Things, This is how I roll | tags: Family, Fur Babies/Pets, Insanity, Me, Photography, Vacations. | #

I did not want to have to do this, but kids, it is time for a lesson on parking etiquette. I guess I just assumed everyone knew how to park a car except the NFH, but the last 17 days of the house next to me being for rent has taught me that I guess I am wrong.

I guess it is a good thing, and I should be happy people are looking at the house next door, especially since the only ad I can find for this property is one tiny listing buried on Craig’s List.

So boys and girls, get out your notebook and be prepared for a test at the end of my lesson.

My city has laws that say that your vehicle cannot be within four feet of the entrance to someone’s driveway, otherwise they can be ticketed, or towed; however us living on top of each other in the land of track homes, they have an unwritten rule that in our area they just can’t block them, and you know what? I am fine with that. I also take no issue with people parking in front of my house, I don’t claim the public street. What I DO take issue with is when people block my driveway, especially when I am trying to leave my house. It gets a bit old tracking down people to get them to move their cars and my deductible is too high to just say “oops! My car must have slipped out of gear, gone down my driveway, and smashed into your car…. too bad you were parked there”, although I can’t say I have not been tempted.

We keep one car in the driveway, and my minivan and a piece of shi… err, classic car, in the garage. Yet I don’t know how many times I have come outside to see someone’s car blocking the entire tail end of his car, which I drive about once a week to keep the battery charged and the fluid moving through it. It is a 2003 Honda Civic with perfect paint and a straight body, so it is not like it looks abandon or anything. There is also only about 2-3 feet between my driveway, and the neighbors, so unless you drive a motorcycle, you are going to block someone’s driveway… one might think the smart thing to do would to be to block the *empty* house you are coming to look at, and not the car occupied one.

The empty house, also has an equally empty two car driveway, and an empty spot spanning the entire front of the house. On top of that, directly across the street is a house facing east to another street leaving the side of it completely unobstructed by driveways and can easily fit 3 or 4 cars. Common sense would say you could park in one of about 9 different spaces and be close to the rental you are looking at, and not piss off anyone.

So today I realize the storage unit I rented last month for pre-packing is due today, but rather than be able to pay on the phone, or online, I have to go in person to waive the insurance on the storage unit since my homeowners policy covers off-site storage. When I open the garage door, there is a car parked with the bumper of the car right up the edge to the left of my driveway standing next to a truck parked halfway into the middle of my driveway. She is chatting on a cell phone and the driver is sitting in the drivers seat. I buckle up the baby and then walk down to where they are and I say “Excuse me, but do you mind pulling forward so you are not blocking my driveway?” I was nice, and polite and did not have one ounce of attitude and can you believe she SCOWLED and glared at me and mumbled something bitchy to her husband! I wanted to kick her in the neck and tell her that she is too low-rent to be able to afford a house to live in and go back to living in her single-wide, but I was nice and just walked away. When I got back they were both gone, and I can just hope they don’t come back. I can understand why my neighbor has a sign in front of his carport telling people not to block his driveway.

Question 1:
It is okay to block a car in their driveway if they have enough room to back out if they pull the wheel all the way to one side, even if they have to pull forward a few times, or drive on their lawn, to get far enough to get around you.
A) True
B) False
C) Heck no, are you effing stupid??

Question 2:
Are you special and think you have privileges to be a jerk to anyone you please, and they can just deal with it?
A) Yes
B) No
C) We all deserve to be treated with respect

Question 3:
If you are visiting someone or looking at a home to occupy, or you do occupy it, where should you park?
A) Anywhere I feel like, I am allergic to exercise and should not have to cross a street.
B) In front of their home.
C) Anywhere that is free, legal, and not inconveniencing others.

Scoring:
Please use the point system below to add up your answers.
A) -2
B) 0
C) 2

If you scored a 0-6:
Congratulations, you have common sense! You may now officially co-exist with other humans, and know basic parking etiquette. Pat yourself on the back, your IQ is greater than your shoe size.

If you scored -2 or below:
Time to go back to kindergarten so you can learn basic principals like sharing this big giant planet with others. Until you learn some manners, feel free to stick a plastic bag over your head so you are not wasting oxygen that could be used by others. If you don’t like sharing this planet with others, you are free to leave it at any time.

I hope you had a good lesson and that you learned something boys and girls. If any part of this class did not make sense to you, I will be available for private tutoring after class. If you failed this lesson, and refuse to repeat this lesson, there will be plastic bags at the end of the hall and a shuttle bus in the parking lot to take you to Mars where you will be much happier.

1 Comment | In: This is how I roll | tags: Humor, Insanity, Lame-o, Me, Ranting, Silliness, Tirade. | #

Today I left this message on my mom’s voice mail. “Hi mom, its me. I just wanted to let you know to keep an eye out for two of your grandsons. I have a feeling they may be running away from home today and will probably be hitchhiking up to live with you. They have no clean clothes though, so sorry. They will be traveling light, I took all their belongings from the room they told me to clean since they lied. Let me know when they get there.”

The back story to this message is simple: I told the two oldest boys, who share a room, that in 3 days the Realtor was coming and I needed them to clean their room to the level of spotless. They cleaned for a while and then told me it was done. So I told 2nd oldest to vacuum, after about 20 minutes I yelled at him to start the vacuum already and he told me that he was cleaning his room so he could vacuum because they messed it up a bit since they finished cleaning. Odd. Ok, whatever. You told me it was clean, twice… I’ll hold you to it.

So this morning I head down to the crawlspace in their room to find a box to put cookies in to mail to my hubby and I exploded. Thankfully they were at school when this happened, and the baby slept through it… So I decided to clean it myself to teach them what “clean” looks like. Just a quick product review. Kirkland brand lawn bags are AMAZING. They are Costco’s generic brand of Hefty bags and they hold well. I grabbed one of those brooms that you see on TV, the “amazing” ones that are a wedge on one side and bristles on the other, four trash bags, and set to work bagging up everything on the floor except big boxes, and laundry. An hour later… I was almost done, but had to leave for a doctor’s appointment, so I loaded up all the laundry into the back of my van and 3 of the 8 laundry bags and head to my appointment.

Afterward, I ran over to my brand new storage unit and unloaded a total of ELEVEN loads of laundry, 3 bags of toys, garbage & books, a huge basket of books, and 3 tote boxes of toys. I headed back home and put the baby in her highchair for lunch and loaded up the rest of the toys (5 bags) 2 globes, 2 boxes of breakables and then proceeded to spread baking soda all over their room while I vacuumed under dressers, windowsills, cobwebs, and under the bed. My poor Dyson vacuum had to go over their carpet TWICE just to get it clean. Mind you, this is the room that they vacuumed just yesterday. I woke up the baby who had fallen asleep in the highchair while I was working and then took another trip to the storage unit. The oldest boy called to tell me he was sick, so I picked him up and banished him to bed. He explained that while waiting for me, he ate his lunch and started feeling better. I *should* have loaded his butt back into the van and taken him back, but I figured laying in an empty room was punishment enough and would be less fun then playing sick and getting attention at school.

In 10 minutes I have to leave to go get the 2nd oldest from school, he is going to FLIP OUT when he sees his room. I predict whining and tears from him. I will explain that I simply took care of all their trash that they left on the floor and maybe they will be able to keep their room clean if it is empty. If they keep their room clean, they will earn one container back at a time. Too bad they have so much dirty laundry, since that is what they will be earning back first… one basket at a time.

3 Comments | In: This is how I roll | tags: Austin, Christopher, Confessions, Domestic Diva, Family, Insanity, Lame-o, Parenting, Ranting, Tirade. | #

Tuesday night, around midnight, I head a loud ruckus of heavy items being drug across the sidewalk, people talking loudly, and similar noises. I looked out the window and the NFH’s were parking at the end of my driveway, loading tons of people and stuff into a SUV. I rolled my eyes and headed to bed. The next day….. nothing. I see the person in the NFH household take the two trashcans to the curb, and about a dozen bags… but they were facing the street the way the trash company requests for easy pickup. I can almost envision the waste management person grinning, as I see them out there almost every week trying to get the cans turned around and picking up all the stuff overflowing.

It was a gorgeous day outside yesterday, absolutely beautiful, so all day we worked in the yard getting it cleaned. Only once did I hear their dog barking in the back yard. It stopped almost as soon as it started as he was brought into the house. Then last night, no music, no visitors, no parties…. I was in shock!

However, stupid and inconsideration are qualities you can depend on. If the expected parties don’t offer it, you should expect someone else to, and that is just what happened.

Around 7pm I hear a dog barking, deep throaty LOUD barks. woofwoofwoofwoofwoof. The dog is not even taking breaks to breathe. woofwooofwooofwoofwoof. After 3 hours of it I am starting to slowly feel my soul dying. woofwoofwoofwoofwoof. I go out in the front yard to see if the pitbull is sticking his head out one of the bedroom windows next door and is causing all that noise. I go out front, I see nothing… no cars, no dog, nothing. But I still hear the dog; woofwoofwoofwoofwoof. I go out in the back yard, the noise is even louder. We had some people visiting my neighbors on the *other* side of my house that had two large huskies that would sometimes bark, but those neighbors would never let any of their dogs bark 3 hours. I turn on my floodlight in the back and there it is. Directly behind the NFH is the person who volunteered to pick up their slack. Locked onto the back deck, these new idiots had trapped a 150+ male Great Dane who was not too happy about being confined. woofwoofwoofwoofwoof. We are not on hour FIVE and I am wondering two things… why have they not brought the dog inside? and how is the dog not hoarse??

I figure I will just go to bed, since my bedroom is in the front of my house, no way it will bother me, right? Wrong. woofwoofwoofwoofwoof. His voice carries through three back yards all the way to the front of my house. I turn on my fan, turn my TV to a music channel and set the sleep timer. I still hear him, but it does not bother me anymore. It does however bother *my* Great Dane who is downstairs, in her crate that she sleeps in, barking back!! Her bark is her insecure, whiny bark. I yell at her the few times she does it, and she finally gets the hint.

What gives? I *finally* have all four kids healthy, no coughing child across the hall, no parties or 7-11 type traffic next door, and someone leaves their dog outside all night? Is this karma for flipping off that little old blue haired lady??

No Comments | In: This is how I roll | tags: Fur Babies/Pets, Insanity, Me, NFH (Neighbors From Hell), Ranting. | #

There are days when I struggle with motherhood. I mean REALLY struggle. Just today I was telling my husband how frustrated I am in my kids’ lack of responsibility with the animals. We have a horrible mean pitbull living next door ripping holes in my fence and it is just a matter of time before it gets through and kills or harms one of my dogs. So the rule is the dogs can be out for 2 minutes max until I can get the landscaping company to come out and replace my fence. So this morning I hear the dogs barking while I am nursing the baby. Ten minutes pass, still barking, 15 minutes. I finally hit the conference button on the phone and broadcast that the dogs are STILL outside.

Also, the cats. Christopher’s job is to feed the cats and clean the litter boxes daily. Yet if I don’t nag, it does not get done and then they seek out my towels. So now every time I think I have a “clean” towel, I discover it smells like cat urine. Nice. Also, when I am trying to feed Sophia, I have three cats underfoot circling around my ankles because their food bowl is empty.

Bobby called today and I vented, I vented good. I told him how frustrated I was at their total lack of responsibility, how Austin pulled out a progress report while we were walking out the door and asked me to sign it because it was due today and I refused because we would have been late if I had to stop everything and look it over before I sign it. I am just plain sick of it.

So I told my husband how I was half tempted to load up the three cats and two dogs in the van and take them to a kennel for the weekend and board them. How tempted I am to tell the kids that I got rid of the animals because I found them families that would take better care of them. How tempted I am to tell them that if they did not love the animals enough to feed them, water them, and provide them with a clean place to poop and pee that they will go elsewhere.

BUT that would be mean. I am not about to punish my pets, or my four year old because of something my teen & tween did. I am a mean mom, but at the same time I don’t want to teach them that lying and trickery is OK. I struggle with where the line in the sand is sometimes. I struggle daily with trying to be effective without being too mean or too nice. I struggle with making the punishment fit the crime. I struggle with too many chores vs. too little chores. I have very good kids, and I believe I have good kids because my husband and I have always worked together and tried to be consistent, we have always given them responsibility, and we have never spoiled them with toys or candy because they held their breath or stomped their feet at the store.

I think with our family spread out like it is right now we are all feeling the stress and I feel less effective because I don’t have my partner here to back me up. I think he feels helpless because he wants to help and he wants to put his foot up their butts, but from that many thousands of miles away, what can you say? “Just wait, in four months, you are going to be sorry!”? And I think the kids are struggling too, they miss their dad and it is hard to stay motivated when you are sad, I get that. I just wish they would see how overwhelmed I am carrying their load on top of my own. I need to heal this fracture, or I will crumble under the weight of it all.

I don’t think this weekend is going to be a fun one, I can tell you that! Hmmmm, I wonder if I can figure out how to set up the parental controls on the TV??

2 Comments | In: This is how I roll | tags: Add new tag, Austin, Bobby, Christopher, Confessions, Domestic Diva, Family, Fur Babies/Pets, Insanity, Lame-o, Matthew, Me, Parenting, Ranting, Sadness, Tirade. | #