But Matthew found my keys! They were in the toy bins, in the bin that hold the hotwheels. I guess Sophie was trying to drive the cars huh? And I guess Austin was not forthcoming when I asked him several times if he checked in the toys.
Matthew is quite the little smart mouth. Tonight he was being a pain and being naughty, so I sent him to bed 30 minutes early. He stormed up to his room, very angry at me; I could hear his toys being flung and him storming around up there. I planned on letting him blow off some steam, and then go up there to talk to him and then hug and kiss him goodnight and talk to him about his behavior.
While he was cooling down, Austin went upstairs to get some pajamas for Sophie out of Matthew’s room, and I hear them arguing and then I hear Matthew say “IF YOU TELL HER, I WILL KICK YOU!!!” Austin came running downstairs with a silly smile on his face and explained that he needed to tell me what Matthew said. I guess in a fit of rage, my darling sweet son turned into some sort of monster when he told Austin angrily “Next time I see Mommy with a knife, I am going to tell her I hope she cuts her head off!”
The problem with this statement, is that it would be nearly impossible for me to keep a straight face when confronting him about it. After having a giggle and updating my Facebook page, I called my parents to take turns telling them one of my near-famous “Matthew Stories”. They also had a giggle and then I mustered as much composure as I could and “angrily” marched upstairs.
Matthew was very remorseful and said he let some angry words come out and that he was very sad about what he said. He claimed he tried to say “next time I see mommy with a knife, I am going to tell her I hope she cuts some vegetables“, but the other words just slipped out. This is where I had to turn my head and hold my breath to keep from cracking up. He apologized freely and we talked about how it was not okay to be naughty like he had been when I sent him to bed early, and that he needs to try not to have angry words, because once the words are out they cannot go back and can hurt someone’s feelings. I gave him a hug and a kiss goodnight, and surprisingly enough he went to bed fairly easily. I have a feeling he was tired in the first place, causing the naughty behavior in the first place that led to angry words. Having a four year old is an adventure.
Dear Max,
This is what happens when you have big brothers! Don’t listen to them, they are evil. Remember this, they do not have any money for ice cream, if they did they would already have spent it. Even if they cross their heart and hope to die they can’t get you a pony, where could they get one? Don’t fall for that one, and know that they have no permission to allow you to stay up past your bedtime, only Mom and maybe Dad have that ability. Do not listen to them it will not be really, really, really fun, no matter what they tell you. A promise to come back in just a few minutes is not an enforceable contract! Neither is a promise to pick up the dog poo on your day. Danger always lurks behind a double dog dare. Anything involving shovels, BB guns or jumping off anything with a parachute made of a sheet should raise a red flag in your mind. Remember these rules because if you forget them later on they’ll be saying “I’ll hold your beer, go for it.” Watch out for girls, too. The girl that came by later and made the boobs in the sand in front of you did not have your best interest in mind. I will try to have more advice for you as I see that you may need it. Love Grandpa
Matthew in the sand
*Now, with working pictures!!*
Wow, what a whirlwind of the last 3 months. I had a GLORIOUS summer. First vacation was up to Glenwood Hot Springs a few hours northeast of here in Glenwood Colorado.
The drive was gorgeous, the kids loved all the tunnels and the hot springs were amazing. The pool was a city block and so comfortable. Sophie fell asleep floating in my arms several times.
The next weekend we went to Canon City about an hour from here to camp in these amazing little one bedroom (sleeps 6) cabin with a full kitchen and bathroom. We stayed at a Yogi Bear campground, so the kids were super busy with activities and contests. Austin did an essay for a contest on his dad since we were there for father’s day and made me cry.
As soon as we were unpacked from Yogi I packed up the 4 kids and two large dogs and drove 1200 miles to visit my family. I got to spend a few days in Montana with my oldest sister and her 5 little ones (sorta, two teens, a tween, the youngest two are the most adorable twin toddler girls!!) After that I went to my parents land in Idaho where we spent the 4th of July on the beach, picked huckleberries, and enjoyed each others company. My grandparents came over from Montana to see us and it was so wonderful to see them again. Then we headed back to Spokane were we went back and forth between Spokane and the cabin in Idaho for the rest of the month. I also got to see my other sister and her two kids who are just amazing kids. My niece writes music and plays them on the guitar and athletic and confident and just a remarkable young woman. Here are a few pictures of our time in Priest Lake:
Two days after we returned from Idaho, Bobby came home from Iraq for 3 weeks. Our anniversary is July 28th and he flew home the afternoon of the 27th so with the help of my friend Tracie I was able to plan an amazing little getaway. We went to a super nice restaurant in town and then I surprised him with an overnight stay in a gorgeous suite at a 4 star hotel at the Cliff House in Manitou Springs. They had a bottle of wine and chocolate covered strawberries and a rose waiting for us when we arrived.
Then we were off for our family vacation to Disney World!! The kids had NO idea where we were going so when we missed our flight they were super bummed. A night at the Hilton near the airport and all was forgotten.
When we finally made it to Orlando we had so much fun. The weather was hot and muggy but we did not mind. The park was crowded and the lines were long but we barely noticed. By the end of the day we were so happy we had rented a house and had our own rooms to go to and a full kitchen so we could just grab a bowl of cereal and crash for the night. We spent two days at the Magic Kingdom.
Then we spent a day in Epcot, which really was not enough!
We also spent a day at Animal Kingdom, where my camera battery promptly died and a rushed day at Hollywood Studios because we were having a little get together with three families who live in Florida whom I have been friends with for seven years. Talk about a fun night!! The kids got along great, the men folk hit it off instantly, and we girls had a blast talking the night away.
Bobby’s vacation was over before we knew it and the boys headed back to school. Austin and Christopher are both in middle school this year and Matthew is in his last year of preschool.
They are enjoying school, except Austin had a problem with his math teacher. She was bullying him and talking down to him since day one. She seemed to single him out. Anyone who knows Austin knows this kid is a golden child. Today he *asked* me if he could put my laundry away for me and folded a basket of laundry without being asked and then put it away. The same child I heard tell his brothers “lets keep the kitchen clean, mom worked hard on it today”. Well his breaking point was when he was sitting on his feet so he could see his math book, he’s short like we are and the desks are bigger this year. The teacher yelled at him to sit on his butt and when he explained he could not see if he sat that way she told him “maybe you need to have your mommy send you in with a booster seat?!” Austin did not say anything, but went to the principal to demand a new teacher because he was tired of being treated like dirt and then having her demand his respect. The school still has not called to tell me of this incident or to apologize, but I have not called them either as I kind of fell like this is Austin’s battle, not mine and he is handling it like a true warrior!
Christopher has his ups and downs. On one hand he is helping out more to earn money to replace games he lost of Austin’s, he mowed the lawn for me tonight. On the other hand he is having problems with doing what he needs to do in a timely matter (getting ready for school, completing homework, etc) and he has had a few outbursts here and there that are uncalled for.
Matthew is having a hard time with preschool this year, he’s having some major separation issues and clings to me at drop-off. Once I leave he is fine, but man he wrenches at my heart strings. Today I was listening to music and he said to me “I sure like this song about them living in a lallow sub-barine!!” He’s a funny boy.
Other than that, we are trying to adjust to Sophie’s moods. She’s getting 4 molars in right now and her 4 front teeth are still trying to come in the rest of the way. If that is not bad enough, because of teething she is getting horrible bleeding diaper rashes so both ends are hurting her. She is talking up a storm and says “here you go” “go bye?” “yogurt” “mommy” “Austin” among all her other words. She’s a smart little thing and made her toy say bye-bye by cycling through other sounds until it came back to bye-bye again when I was pressuring her to wave bye-bye to me.
Bobby and I are doing well, 5 more months until he gets home and I am just trying to stay busy to help move time. I am also trying to get healthier and keep my house cleaner. I am trying to get into the habit of going to the gym on M, W & F when I drop the kids off at school. I have already started to see and feel changes in myself.
So, if you have made it this far, here is my massive update of why I have been MIA. I am hoping be around a little more now that school has started. If you want a link to *all* my Disney pics the link is here.
I have not had much time to update my blog, let alone breath, but I have a moment as we are just getting home camping in Canon City. The weekend before we were in Glenwood Spring at the hot springs for Sophie’s little friend Winter’s birthday, her party was Saturday. Seventeen days ago, my own little Sophia had her very first birthday. I am just in disbelief that my teeny tiny princess is already a year old. How time flies!! She’s got such a huge personality for such a teeny tiny little thing. She’s not walking or standing up yet by herself, but she is pulling up on stuff and walking along furniture A LOT. I imagine she will be 13-14 months before she walks, just like the rest of my kids.
Next week we will be driving home to WA state to go spend time with my family for 3-4 weeks, and then we will come home in time for Bobby to come home on leave for 3 weeks. We are planning a huge surprise family vacation, but I am not saying where until the airplane tickets are purchased and the vacation home rented. The kids start back at school 2 days before Bobby heads back to Iraq.
I was talking with a friend who was telling me a cute story about how her son identifies adult and children males and females and it got me wondering what Matthew calls them as I have only noticed him say “boy & girl”.
So I picked up a magazine and I asked him “What is that?” and he says “girl” and I said “but she is a grownup, so what is she” and he says “she is a woman!” so then I found a picture of an adult male and asked him what that was and he thought a moment and said “he’s a dude!!”
What is even funnier about the answer is that from the time he could talk, Matthew has been calling our friend across the street “The Man”, no matter how many times we corrected him or told him his name, he was always still just “The Man”.
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Austin found a pit bull puppy today and put it in our back yard with a bowl of water. It was salivating so much from being thirsty that Christopher said “Oh no! It has rabies! It is foaming at the mouth!” The pup was nice enough, but I sure was glad that the humane society was quick in picking it up.
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Sophie has been a pill for the last two days. Nothing seems to make her happy and she is not wanting to eat or nap. I think we may be seeing some new teeth soon. On a positive note, I was able to get all her 6-9 month clothing washed and sorted and put away with any of her 3-6 month summer clothes that still fit. She was screaming at my feet almost the entire time, but at least I managed to get it done. Thankfully it looks like she should have enough clothes to make it through the summer, especially if the ones I have soaking in oxyclean come clean. I may take a trip to the new Goodwill soon, because I am sure everyone could use some new summer clothes.
Matthew is starting to read. JUST starting. I took him to Barnes and Noble today so we can get some Bob books, they are like our generation of our parents Dick and Jane books (they still sell those by the way!). While I was there I also got him some Biscuit books, which are a little harder, but my older boys loved them. The entire time there I am talking to Matthew about what a big boy he is and that he is ready to start trying to read. We bought the books, he carried his little bag of books out to the curb and when I asked him to hold hands he tells me “I am a big boy now mama, I am going to be reading soon, so I am too big to hold hands”.
Silly boy.
A couple months ago I banned a certain friend from the house. I never really cared for him, but I could not put my finger on it at first. In time I REALLY did not like him because when I would say no to almost any request, he would try to change my mind even though I never once went back on my initial decision. He was always also trying to stay the night, and when I would say he had plans, he would respond that his parents had plans and he could not stay home alone so he *had* to find a place to stay.
Well two months ago I was about to slice some mango for fruit salad, and one was missing. I blamed my own children, but the next day they said they saw this boy with a mango. Then he was bragging at school that he had gotten a mango from our house and it was the best ever. I was furious and told the boys I did not want him in my house anymore. Bobby thought I was being harsh, but I refuse to allow liars or thieves into my house. A few days later he apologized to Christopher and admitted to stealing the mango.
Then it comes out that some of the kids in the neighborhood as missing games, and this boy has stolen them and he was in a lot of trouble at home. Austin admits to me that he thought the boy had stolen his game, but had no proof. Christopher also was missing a game. Austin & Christopher went to his mom and told her that they felt he had their games and she said she did not see them.
Well a few weeks ago I see the kids looking through Matthew’s room, they told me he had Christopher’s gameboy last and they don’t know where he put it. I immediately think of the boy, but they sort of dismiss it for a few days until Austin says “you know, the last place I saw his gameboy was when Matthew had it in the bathroom, and the boy used that bathroom too.
So today the boy says at school he is going to come over and talk to me about a game he accused Christopher of stealing, a game *we* gave him that he lost. I was really hoping he would come so I could ask him to get the gameboy and games now. Instead, two neighborhood boys show up. They say they they have seen the boy with a lot of new games lately and they mention the two pokemon games the boys were missing. Then I ask if he had a DS, and they said “a silver one? With a ton of scratches??” and Austin was like *I* scratched that gameboy, on accident!!” so together they went to talk to the boy’s parents.
Well I guess the apple does not fall too far from the tree. The mom was pissed, at MY kids! She said she was going to call the police on my kids for harassment! WTF!?! Hearing this, I called the police and asked him to write down the boy’s address, as well as addresses and phone numbers of all the witnesses who saw our games and gameboy. The dad started yelling at the boy and amazingly enough, the gameboy appeared, and it was being used by none other than the mom. Another one of the kids admits they know who has the game, and he traded the boy his own games for the pokemon games. That child let Austin look at the game, and sure enough, there is the the pokemon he misnamed, “Charmandy”. That child gave back the one game and asked me if he could borrow the other game for a few weeks so he could beat it. I told the kids to make the decision, but I had to problem with it because he had been super honest in returning the game, even though he had traded it for one of his own games. They like this other kid, so they are letting him borrow it.
I decided since the games and the gameboy were returned, I would not involve the police, but my friend suggested I make an appointment with the principal since he was threatening to beat up my son, and I agree that I probably should involve the school for that reason alone. If that boy as much as sets foot in my driveway, I will have NO issue telling him to get off my property.
Tonight I took my kids out to dinner and ice cream for standing up for themselves, choosing better friends (at least 3 kids were willing to help them and were honest about the boy having their games), and for being thorough in making sure he had witnesses’ names and addresses. I was also impressed that he was still polite to the boy’s mom, even though he *knew* the boy had his stuff and she was protecting and bullying him. I am glad this family lives about 4 or 5 blocks away.
There are days when I struggle with motherhood. I mean REALLY struggle. Just today I was telling my husband how frustrated I am in my kids’ lack of responsibility with the animals. We have a horrible mean pitbull living next door ripping holes in my fence and it is just a matter of time before it gets through and kills or harms one of my dogs. So the rule is the dogs can be out for 2 minutes max until I can get the landscaping company to come out and replace my fence. So this morning I hear the dogs barking while I am nursing the baby. Ten minutes pass, still barking, 15 minutes. I finally hit the conference button on the phone and broadcast that the dogs are STILL outside.
Also, the cats. Christopher’s job is to feed the cats and clean the litter boxes daily. Yet if I don’t nag, it does not get done and then they seek out my towels. So now every time I think I have a “clean” towel, I discover it smells like cat urine. Nice. Also, when I am trying to feed Sophia, I have three cats underfoot circling around my ankles because their food bowl is empty.
Bobby called today and I vented, I vented good. I told him how frustrated I was at their total lack of responsibility, how Austin pulled out a progress report while we were walking out the door and asked me to sign it because it was due today and I refused because we would have been late if I had to stop everything and look it over before I sign it. I am just plain sick of it.
So I told my husband how I was half tempted to load up the three cats and two dogs in the van and take them to a kennel for the weekend and board them. How tempted I am to tell the kids that I got rid of the animals because I found them families that would take better care of them. How tempted I am to tell them that if they did not love the animals enough to feed them, water them, and provide them with a clean place to poop and pee that they will go elsewhere.
BUT that would be mean. I am not about to punish my pets, or my four year old because of something my teen & tween did. I am a mean mom, but at the same time I don’t want to teach them that lying and trickery is OK. I struggle with where the line in the sand is sometimes. I struggle daily with trying to be effective without being too mean or too nice. I struggle with making the punishment fit the crime. I struggle with too many chores vs. too little chores. I have very good kids, and I believe I have good kids because my husband and I have always worked together and tried to be consistent, we have always given them responsibility, and we have never spoiled them with toys or candy because they held their breath or stomped their feet at the store.
I think with our family spread out like it is right now we are all feeling the stress and I feel less effective because I don’t have my partner here to back me up. I think he feels helpless because he wants to help and he wants to put his foot up their butts, but from that many thousands of miles away, what can you say? “Just wait, in four months, you are going to be sorry!”? And I think the kids are struggling too, they miss their dad and it is hard to stay motivated when you are sad, I get that. I just wish they would see how overwhelmed I am carrying their load on top of my own. I need to heal this fracture, or I will crumble under the weight of it all.
I don’t think this weekend is going to be a fun one, I can tell you that! Hmmmm, I wonder if I can figure out how to set up the parental controls on the TV??
A Thank-You letter to Cindy from Cindysporch.net
Dear Cindy,
I want to thank you for your email thread with the subject line “Spring Cleaning Challenge #3: The Kid’s Rooms”. You sufficiently helped me traumatize my children for life, and almost made my 12 year old son cry.Let me back up a bit… I am a mother of four, two preteens, a preschooler, and a prima donna, I mean a baby. My sons are 12, 11, and 4, and my daughter is 9 months old. I also have three cats, and two dogs who are over 85 lbs. Things got even crazier this February when my husband left for a year in Iraq as a military contractor. I would like to say my house normally just looks “lived in”, but truth be told there are times when it looks like World War III was just fought and a nuclear disaster was contained in my 1800 square foot home.
Your email could not have been read at a better time. Today we had a surprise blizzard here in Colorado, and because it is spring break, I have been hearing how bored my children are, or have had to pull them out of their Gameboys just to get them to clear their dishes from the table. What a brilliant day to play the “Clean your room or mom will kill you” game!! So I excitedly posted the link to the the spreadsheet in my Facebook status and printed out a copy. My four year old took quite a delight in running up to the printer to grab the game sheet and I handed them to my oldest son. His displeasure was easy to read; his face was red, his answers were curt and he looked like he could start crying at any minute.
To prove to him what a wuss he was being, I printed out a second sheet and told him I was going to do the same to my room. I even took the four year old up to “help” me and instructed the 11 year old that if he stopped working that he would would be grounded until the end of time.
Truth be told, the four year old was a lot of help. He made an awesome little “gofer” and had no problems fitting under the bed to push out CDs and books that found themselves held hostage under the bed by rogue dust bunnies. The children needed no prompting to get back to work or stay busy. They did need some reminding that Yu-Gi-Oh cards do not belong under dressers and that “clean dresser tops” does not mean to pile the junk right back on them as soon as you have dusted the tops off, however I think they earned an A-!
I soon found the cleaning was contagious though, because soon it spread and I found myself “accidentally” cleaning my bathroom mirror, which was not part of your list. The virus kept mutating and soon I was accidentally putting away pill bottles and mouthwash, tooth paste and mousse. Hair clips and nail clippers soon seemed to crawl into their drawers to escape the wrath. Next thing I know I am thinking how wonderful my cucumber melon all purpose would make the room smell and the counter, sink and toilet soon sparkled.
Before I knew it, my cluttered bedroom soon resembled a spa-like sanctuary. I now have a peaceful place to retreat to at the end of the day, and won’t have to worry about books and CDs crawling out from under the bed while I am sleeping and tying me up like in Gulliver’s Travels.
THANK YOU for giving me my sanity back and helping me to find a small slice of peace again. I LOVE my gorgeous bedroom and bathroom, I am really hoping having my rooms clean will inspire me to break out the gallons of paint I have had sitting out in the garage for weeks now and finish my redecoration project I have been putting off since I bought this house back in 2004.
Heather
Me: Heather, thirty-something mama to five wild kiddos. With such a broad age range, I can easily be nursing a baby while helping with Algebra homework. If I ever get spare time, I enjoy technology, knitting, reading, and just hanging out with my kiddos.
Bobby, my best friend and partner in crime for all of my adult life. Ex soldier, turned computer geek, he's traveled the world and then some. Truly an awesome husband, and dad, even when he is almost 7,000 miles away.
Christopher - 14. My professor, he always has a fact ready for any situation. Christopher loves math and science and is especially interested in the weather. Christopher loves to get lost between the pages of a good book.
Matthew - 7. My silly little jester. Matthew can make anyone laugh with the hilarious things he says and does. We are easily amused with his "Matthewisms", even as a baby his timing was impeccable.
Sophia - 3. The princess. With 4 brothers, it is easy to see why Sophie is such a diva, but behind all her drama, she is genuinely the sweetest kid I know. She is quick with a hug or an "I love you" and touches everyone she meets with kind words and a smile that lights up a room.
Liam, born 12/28/10. The n00b. Our 5th and final. Lovingly nicknamed "Mr. Grabbyhands", and about 300 other nicknames. Liam is easy going, laid back, cuddly, and sweet.