Mistakes in Motherhood

We are home from vacation, and things are back to the way they should be. Our house desperately needs cleaned, laundry is at a healthy level. The princess is fighting with the littlest prince, she has learned to tattle in her little baby way. She points at something, glares at it, and then in gibberish tells me all about it. I have appointments galore, I need to make a trip to Costco and the regular grocery store, and Bobby is already planning his next business trip. Yes, life is how it should be.

No Comments | In: A lot about nothing | tags: Confessions, Domestic Diva, Family, Lame-o, Me, Vacations. | #

If you are on my Facebook, then this is old news, but I have not mentioned it here yet.

While Bobby was in Wisconsin, I got a pretty big shock.

See that little line? *Squint* Now do you?

This is my test from April 15th, I followed it up with a blood test which was also positive. I was in total shock. Seems like we were not as careful as we could have been the day before he went to Wisconsin.

Shock has faded, and now I am excited. Bobby is happy too, even though we has decided we were done.

On May 7th, I was able to see my little bean for the first time. His/her heart was flickering away and it was the most beautiful little blob I had seen since Sophia’s first scans.

A couple weeks later I got to see him/her again.

We decided we would have another home birth, and interviewed a couple midwives. I found one I love and had my initial appointment at the end of May. The appointment was pretty uneventful, it included vitals, a ton of paperwork and history, information on prenatal testing, and a ton of routine blood work.

I was so sick this pregnancy, much like my pregnancy with Sophia, except this time it started around 3 weeks, then started easing up around 11 weeks, and now is mostly gone, where with Sophia it eased up a bit, but was never gone. Also, unlike Sophia’s pregnancy, I have been able to eat, so I have gained around 5 lbs already, where with her I lost a bunch of weight, however, I also started this pregnancy about 45 pounds lighter than I did with her pregnancy, and Matthew’s pregnancy (where I also lost some weight in the beginning). This is making me guess we are going to have another little girl, but I have been wrong before.

We also decided we are not going to find out the sex of this baby at 20 weeks, as long as this baby cooperates and decides not to be obvious at my 20 week ultrasound. It was funny, I was kind of playing with the idea thinking it would be fun, when Bobby called me and said “I just thought of something crazy, but what if we don’t find out the gender?” Since then it has been settled and I am feeling a lot more at ease about not knowing and am excitedly buying little yellow and white baby items for the first few weeks. It will be so neat to be able to discover on our own what we are having as a family. With Christopher the midwife told us he was a boy at birth, with Matthew and Sophie I was told by the ultrasound tech.

Yesterday I entered the second trimester, such a relief.

1 Comment | In: This is how I roll | tags: Announcements, Me, Pregnancy. | #

What is eas-birth-mas? Doesn’t everyone celebrate it?? Well, since you asked (or didn’t), eas-birth-mas is a family celebration we decided we would have when Bobby got back in the states, to celebrate all the holidays dad missed. We had planned on making it eas-thank-birth-mas, but with us moving in a few days, I decided to put off turkey day for after we were settled in.

We started the day by distracting the kids with box-forts we helped them make. When I got my new washer and dryer, we asked them to leave the appliance boxes for the kids.



Bobby cut doors and windows in the boxes for the kids (while Austin posed for photo-ops) and then we let them decorate them or continue to cut them how the pleased. They ended up creating a tunnel and joining the two boxes.

While they were playing with the boxes, I wrote directions on sticky notes at each child’s level. For Austin and Chris I had a list of small chores that had a new hint at the end of it.

Christopher found his video game in the freezer when his last note asked him to see how much bread we had in the freezer, where Austin’s Blu-Ray was found in the dishwasher after the final clue told him to see if the dishes in the dishwasher needed started.

Matthew’s last clue simply said “tub” and Sophia’s only clue had a picture of a cat and she found her gifts in the scratching post.

For dinner we had dessert first, ice cream cake, and Sophie made a big mess.

She was so messy in fact, a bath was the only solution.

We also sold Bobby’s VW bug today too, so that was great news, since we can’t take it to WA with us, and the person who sold it will take good care of it I am sure.

1 Comment | In: A lot about nothing, This is how I roll | tags: Austin, Bobby, Christopher, Family, Holidays, Matthew, Me, Silliness, Sophia. | #

What a busy day!! This morning my friend Tracie and I took our kids up to Denver to go to the Children’s museum. We had tons of fun and then decided to let Austin babysit his brothers and her 7 year old, while the babies and Tracie and I went to Sephora at JC Penny to find me a color match for foundation. While we were leaving Austin called and said “are you on your way home? It’s 3:50 and your dentist appointment is at 4:10, right?” Oops! Thankfully they were able to reschedule me for an hour later and I *still* was almost late!!

No Comments | In: This is how I roll | tags: Family, Lame-o, Me. | #

This move is teaching me a very valuable lesson on men and women. It seems no matter how stressed I get, or how mad, or sad, or frustrated or any other range of emotion I feel about waiting for confirmation about this move, my husband has appeared to me to be very nonchalant and calm about it. This morning I think I snapped and finally sent him this email.

Hey, I know you are trying to stay on top of this move situation, but I am seriously feeling major stress and I don’t know what else I can do. No matter where we go it is going to be very hard for me to find a place for us to live without giving away all our pets and kids and I am just not sure what else to do to avoid getting ulcers. The longer we go without an answer, the more anxiety I feel and I start crying and have panic attacks multiple times a day. Can you think of any way we can communicate to your boss that we really need to have a for sure answer? Every person I have talked to in Olympia has told us they want us to have one full month notice before moving into a house, which means the longer we go without an answer, the longer the 6 of us live in a hotel together. If we end up going to VA, it will probably take even longer to find a place, and we may end up having to board the pets at anywhere from $12-30 per pet, per day.

Heather

About 30 minutes later he called me, and got me to laugh and smile. He told me he had tried calling his boss several times and left him a voice message. When I freaked out on him and told him I wanted him to fly home so I could choke him for not being emotional like I was (this statement was made very light-hearted, and we both knew it). He told me he knew this was hard on me, and he was allowing me to cry and complain and freak out because he knew I needed to. He knew one of us needed to be strong, so he decided to take on that role. So when I freaking out that he was not freaking out, he was being strong because he knew one of us needed to be or we would both be puddles of goo over this.

This made me realize, that when I felt I was carrying this load alone, not only was he helping me carry it, but in addition he was carrying ME! It is times like this that I really appreciate my husband, even if he does things differently than I do, and does not carry his emotions on his sleeves, it does not mean that he does not have emotions, he just expresses them differently than I do. I am glad he allowed me to step back and see things at face value, so I was not sitting here brooding and stressing, feeling like I was slaying the dragon all by myself.

2 Comments | In: This is how I roll | tags: Bobby, Marriage, Me, Moving, Ranting. | #

I never did update about what happened at the dealership and parts store. I bailed his car out of car jail on Tuesday morning with only a $46 bill, vs. the $90 I was told. I actually just left it there and they removed the dud battery for me, loaded it into my van and I went to the parts store. I showed him the bill and what they said and he took the dud battery, put a new one out in my car for me and apologized for the inconvenience. I decided not to press the issue with getting them to pay for the bill, more than anything I just wanted an apology. The dealership put in the new battery and washed his car up all pretty for me without charging me extra. My service coordinator was so pleasant that I decided to order some parts, and bring the car back for some other things it needs done before we move.

Because I have to arrange for them to shuttle me back and forth to the dealership, I decided tonight I would take it in, this time to fix a couple cosmetic things and repair his remote start & alarm. After the recent battery incident, it sure made me appreciate my dealership. I have always hated finding and trusting new mechanics, because you hear so many horror stories of shady mechanics. The disadvantage of moving so often, is you get to start over at a new city, and have to find all new services. This is why I love the Google Age so much, word of mouth has always been the way I find businesses, but if that is not available, I am all about the review sites. I have never been a fan of flipping through the phone book.

I found this new website today, called RepairPal that is pretty interesting. You can put in information about your car, repair needed, and zipcode and they will not only give you a range to expect the estimate to be, but shops nearby with peer reviews, which would look like this page showing some San Fransisco auto repair shops. Out of curiosity I put in his Civic and pretended it really had needed an alternator and it came up with a very comprehensive report. Not only did it tell me the range of costs I would be expecting for parts & labor, but then it also gives me recommendations of things I make sure are done (i.e. which other tests I make sure they do) and explanations of symptoms and other necessary repairs that may be necessary. Not just that, then maps out shops in my areas with reviews.

The other helpful part of the website is you can enter a specific make, model and year of a vehicle and get reviews, common problems, recalls, etc. So if you wanted to learn more about a 2001 Honda Accord, it would be easy to look up ratings, reviews, recalls, and common mechanical problems. Other neat features are a car encyclopedia, in case you wanted to look up what a timing belt replacement entails; and a section called My Car where you can keep track of your maintenance and repair records, plus get reminders, recall information and service reminders, and best of all it is all FREE!

When we move next month, it is nice knowing I will be able to find a place to take our cars that I can trust, I am extremely loyal to my service center and look forward to finding a place that can take care of all of our car needs, from oil changes, to mechanical repairs.

1 Comment | In: People, Places & Things | tags: Auto Stuff, Bobby, Me, Sponsored. | #

Yesterday evening I had writing out a whiny, negative status about the lack of housing I was finding with my pets, and I decided, if I wanted to attract positive, I needed to think positive, so I deleted my whine, and wrote a very positive message Tomorrow will be a better day. Tomorrow will give us more positive leads on pet friendly homes. We WILL find the perfect home soon. And the government will give us an definite answer soon. The Washington State move is going to go GREAT! Let this become my new affirmation. This all came from a series of phone calls from a large rental agency in Olympia with about 10 homes in our price range, with the numbers of bedrooms we need, who claimed to be “pet friendly” who told us that with our two dogs, and three cats, that they have absolutely no rentals that would allow my number of pets, and told me they imagine no one would.

My mood after this phone call was so low that all I wanted to do was whine and vent and cry, but when I chose to be positive about it and post the positive message, my mood became more positive and immediately I was contacted by a home owner who was willing to consider us, despite our number of pets. Even though he has yet to give me an answer (same with the government, they have yet to give us a 100%), I remain more positive, because if someone is willing to say maybe, someone WILL say yes. This is the far cry from the “no one” I was told, and allowed me to get down in the dumps.

Today, I was emailed by another company, and they gave me a choice of 6 houses, but when I told them about my pets, they told me of a house that was the same price as the other ones, but nearly 1,000 square feet larger where it would be fine for me to have my animals. So now I have one for sure I can look at, and now four houses that are maybes. I am confident that in less than a week we will have our definite answer from his company, as well as have housing secured.

Next time you start feeling down in the dumps, just remember the power of the positive and see how much you can make a difficult situation turn around!

No Comments | In: A lot about nothing | tags: Fur Babies/Pets, House Stuff, Insanity, Me, Moving. | #

I am so sore today, I have found all the muscles in my body, especially in my butt. This morning while crawling into my van I actually checked to see if I was sitting on something…. nope, it was just my swollen glutes. My hands felt bruised when holding the steering wheel. I felt beat up. How did I sustain these injuries? Well, for one, it was a direct result of not listening. It was a secondary response to me not realizing when I was out of my league.

Let’s start at the beginning. Yesterday I was bored. It was 2pm and I was up the night before until 4am so I was feeling tired and stir crazy and I decided a nice fall walk in the unseasonably warm weather would be just what I need. I posed an invitation to my local friends on Facebook to suggest a great place to visit with the baby on my back, the three kids on foot, and our two large dogs. It was suggested that I take the kids & dogs to Helen Hunt Falls. I stopped by the grocery store on the way and got energy bars and we had water bottles, a backpack and were ready to go. My GPS could not find Helen Hunt falls, so I set it to Seven Falls, a pay-to-visit area nearby the free Helen Hunt Falls. I now know this was my first mistake.

It was a beautiful drive once I got to the Broadmoor area of town. The temperature was near perfect, the air was clean and crisp. The trees were a lush array of yellows and reds and there was a small dusting of leaves below them. The red rocks towered above us, as the road narrowed to a small guard-post where we paid our $20 entrance fee. This is what lead to the second mistake.

We head a couple miles up a very narrow road to the parking area and chaotically unload kids and pets and jackets and packs. I put the baby in a pack on my back and take the Great Dane. Christopher gets the backpack as the Golden Retriever is too much for him to handle. The dogs excitedly yank us up the hill to the falls pulling us to each new person, smell, chipmunk, or dog.

The visitor center had a small walk-through next to a stream on the left of it. The water was crystal clear and small fish swam around. If you have ever been to Disney and been on splash mountain, you will remember how happy the ride was until moments before you took the death defying plunge to the bottom. I felt much this way as the stairs emerged before us. Remember where I said paying $20 was my second mistake? That is because I figured if we paid for it, we might as well enjoy it, right? So the sign at the bottom of the falls warn you that the climb is 224 steps. Two HUNDRED and twenty four.

It was probably around step 50 and the dogs freaked out with the height that I realized what a huge mistake I had made. I was cursing the friend who recommended this death trap and feeling overwhelmed by a 95 pound dog who’s attitude about the steps is to just run up as fast as she could to get it over with, dragging me and the baby along with her.

At the first platform we took a small break to drink a little water and mentally prep for the second climb. There was another woman with a tiny toy poodle and a baby. My dogs were trying to mess with the puppy and felt like they were pulling our arms out of our sockets in order to sniff the puppy. When the stairs cleared I decided we had better press on while we could.

It was about halfway up the second set of stairs that I felt like my lungs were about to explode. Matthew was scared and clinging to the rails, Isis was trying to drag me up to be with Austin and Chloe, and I feel like I am going to die. There were people waiting at the top to climb down so I pressed on, red faced, out of shape, and winded.

At the top of the stairs, there was another 2 hour round trip to Helen Hunt’s burial site, but at 4pm I started freaking out that we had started way too late, that I was exhausted, and most importantly that we had to get the dogs back down those steps, potentially in the dark! Austin and I were deciding how we were going to get the dogs down the stairs and I think we had just decided that when we got back to the stairs, that Austin and Chris would go down with one dog, and Chris would wait at the bottom with the one dog, while Austin would climb back up to get the other dog and head down again. At about this time a gentleman approached us and said that they would be closing the path soon and that he would be happy to take one of the dogs down half way for us so I could use two hands to hold onto the rail with the baby on my back. On the middle landing, a young gentleman offered to take the dog the rest of the way down so our first volunteer could wait for his wife to come down the stairs.

About this time I was feeling pretty bummed that we could not finish our hike, so we decided to take the mountain elevator to the other side of the canyon to see views of the falls.

The falls were gorgeous, although I do wish they had been more swollen with water. I bet in the spring when the snow is melting they are an amazing sight.

I will really miss the red rocks of Colorado. By this time I was already looking forward to taking another hike through Garden of the Gods one last time before we leave Colorado.

Sophie was pretty bored with the whole trip, she didn’t quite understand why I would not let her climb up the stairs that were no more than plastic steps supported by a single beam in the center of the steps and handrails.

The little boys had a good time, even if they did not get to finish the hike.

We took the scenic drive on the way home and decided I would take the boys out to dinner for the fist time in months after I showered. While in the shower I realized that my friend had NOT recommended Seven Falls, where we had gone. But a lesser waterfall down the road in a free area without any stairs! Next time I will run in and mapquest driving directions to any place that my GPS cannot find, and I won’t push the kids and dogs and I up an area that is too much for us. I don’t regret the trip at all, I just wish we had left the dogs at home and gone earlier to be able to take the two hour hike.

1 Comment | In: People, Places & Things, This is how I roll | tags: Family, Fur Babies/Pets, Insanity, Me, Photography, Vacations. | #

I did not want to have to do this, but kids, it is time for a lesson on parking etiquette. I guess I just assumed everyone knew how to park a car except the NFH, but the last 17 days of the house next to me being for rent has taught me that I guess I am wrong.

I guess it is a good thing, and I should be happy people are looking at the house next door, especially since the only ad I can find for this property is one tiny listing buried on Craig’s List.

So boys and girls, get out your notebook and be prepared for a test at the end of my lesson.

My city has laws that say that your vehicle cannot be within four feet of the entrance to someone’s driveway, otherwise they can be ticketed, or towed; however us living on top of each other in the land of track homes, they have an unwritten rule that in our area they just can’t block them, and you know what? I am fine with that. I also take no issue with people parking in front of my house, I don’t claim the public street. What I DO take issue with is when people block my driveway, especially when I am trying to leave my house. It gets a bit old tracking down people to get them to move their cars and my deductible is too high to just say “oops! My car must have slipped out of gear, gone down my driveway, and smashed into your car…. too bad you were parked there”, although I can’t say I have not been tempted.

We keep one car in the driveway, and my minivan and a piece of shi… err, classic car, in the garage. Yet I don’t know how many times I have come outside to see someone’s car blocking the entire tail end of his car, which I drive about once a week to keep the battery charged and the fluid moving through it. It is a 2003 Honda Civic with perfect paint and a straight body, so it is not like it looks abandon or anything. There is also only about 2-3 feet between my driveway, and the neighbors, so unless you drive a motorcycle, you are going to block someone’s driveway… one might think the smart thing to do would to be to block the *empty* house you are coming to look at, and not the car occupied one.

The empty house, also has an equally empty two car driveway, and an empty spot spanning the entire front of the house. On top of that, directly across the street is a house facing east to another street leaving the side of it completely unobstructed by driveways and can easily fit 3 or 4 cars. Common sense would say you could park in one of about 9 different spaces and be close to the rental you are looking at, and not piss off anyone.

So today I realize the storage unit I rented last month for pre-packing is due today, but rather than be able to pay on the phone, or online, I have to go in person to waive the insurance on the storage unit since my homeowners policy covers off-site storage. When I open the garage door, there is a car parked with the bumper of the car right up the edge to the left of my driveway standing next to a truck parked halfway into the middle of my driveway. She is chatting on a cell phone and the driver is sitting in the drivers seat. I buckle up the baby and then walk down to where they are and I say “Excuse me, but do you mind pulling forward so you are not blocking my driveway?” I was nice, and polite and did not have one ounce of attitude and can you believe she SCOWLED and glared at me and mumbled something bitchy to her husband! I wanted to kick her in the neck and tell her that she is too low-rent to be able to afford a house to live in and go back to living in her single-wide, but I was nice and just walked away. When I got back they were both gone, and I can just hope they don’t come back. I can understand why my neighbor has a sign in front of his carport telling people not to block his driveway.

Question 1:
It is okay to block a car in their driveway if they have enough room to back out if they pull the wheel all the way to one side, even if they have to pull forward a few times, or drive on their lawn, to get far enough to get around you.
A) True
B) False
C) Heck no, are you effing stupid??

Question 2:
Are you special and think you have privileges to be a jerk to anyone you please, and they can just deal with it?
A) Yes
B) No
C) We all deserve to be treated with respect

Question 3:
If you are visiting someone or looking at a home to occupy, or you do occupy it, where should you park?
A) Anywhere I feel like, I am allergic to exercise and should not have to cross a street.
B) In front of their home.
C) Anywhere that is free, legal, and not inconveniencing others.

Scoring:
Please use the point system below to add up your answers.
A) -2
B) 0
C) 2

If you scored a 0-6:
Congratulations, you have common sense! You may now officially co-exist with other humans, and know basic parking etiquette. Pat yourself on the back, your IQ is greater than your shoe size.

If you scored -2 or below:
Time to go back to kindergarten so you can learn basic principals like sharing this big giant planet with others. Until you learn some manners, feel free to stick a plastic bag over your head so you are not wasting oxygen that could be used by others. If you don’t like sharing this planet with others, you are free to leave it at any time.

I hope you had a good lesson and that you learned something boys and girls. If any part of this class did not make sense to you, I will be available for private tutoring after class. If you failed this lesson, and refuse to repeat this lesson, there will be plastic bags at the end of the hall and a shuttle bus in the parking lot to take you to Mars where you will be much happier.

1 Comment | In: This is how I roll | tags: Humor, Insanity, Lame-o, Me, Ranting, Silliness, Tirade. | #

Last night, I was so wound up from a long busy week of trying to get work around the house done that I just needed some me time. After the kids went to bed I climbed in a scorching hot bubble bath and just read. I read page after page until my toes were prunes and my water cooled down. It was bliss. When I was done with my bath, I climbed into my bed and read some more. I got so into my book, The Secret Lives of Bees, that it was 2 am before I finally saved off my page on my Kindle and turned the light off.

This morning I am paying for it. I have a bad case of the lazies and I just can’t seem to get myself out of this funk I keep hoping for a burst of inspiration to get back to work on the office that needs to be turned into a nursery, or finish hanging lights, painting, or installing the CO2 detectors, or even knitting would be a step up from what I am doing now.

On a positive note, I have been better about carving out time to make sure to get 30-60 minutes a day of exercise. Last night I was able to pull out a box of clothes I wore 6 years ago, before I got pregnant with Matthew and after I had lost 50 lbs, and the larger of the two sizes fit. I was so happy to have some new clothes that fit since all my others are too small. Unfortunately, these were all summery clothes, and we have snow on the ground here, so they will be around the house clothes or workout clothes until I can drop one more jean size.

1 Comment | In: This is how I roll | tags: Family, House Stuff, Me, Updates. | #