Mistakes in Motherhood

A week after my last post we started the moving process, a trip that took us several days and was a whirlwind of activity. We arrived in Spokane on March 4th, on the 5th Bobby, Sophia and I headed over to Olympia to look at houses and we signed for the first one we looked at. The house itself is not perfect, I would have loved there to be a bigger basement bedroom, more storage, a larger kitchen, and of course, more storage. However, the location is as perfect as you can get and the yard is HUGE. Overall there were a lot more pros about the property than cons. By the time we were done with that we decided to bed down for the night here in town, and Saturday we went back to Spokane. On Monday we loaded back up all the kids and headed back to Olympia and our stuff was delivered the next day. Other than a few small things, everything arrived in perfect condition and I was super impressed with the moving experience. Everyone was so kind and professional.

It is almost 4 months later and we still have not settled in completely. We have to organize the garage and have about a dozen boxes out there we have not touched. We have only hung a couple pictures and still have to build some shelves in the storage room. We have a good excuse, but more about that in another post.

When I said the location here is perfect, I mean it. I love the schools, I love how close we are to a neighborhood park that is just gorgeous, and huge. We are a couple blocks from a 22 mile trail that runs miles through the county, and will soon be expanding to be 48 miles long. We are minutes from walking to lakes, ponds, streams, etc. On our back deck, we can sit outside and listen to a chorus of frogs at night. I have never been happier in any other city. The plan is to keep renting here until we sell our home in Colorado and then consider buying, but I have no desire to do that for another 5 years or so.

Ok, more updates to come, I am going to break them up by major events instead of backdating them to when they happened.

No Comments | In: People, Places & Things | tags: House Stuff, Moving, Updates. | #

I feel like I should be afraid of anything that plugs in today, I really do feel paranoid and that it is out to get me. What next? Is my ice-maker going to start pelting cubes at me? Do I have the anti-midas touch or something? Karmic debt from frying a motherboard 10 years ago?

This morning I wake up to the smoke detectors going off, all 8 of them, out of sync. The 12 yr old decided to turn his bagel into a piece of charcoal. So I get up, life goes on, right? Call the bank for an issue, 24 minutes on hold I give up, decide the issue is not worth it. Hubby and I make a wonderful breakfast, go to watch some shows on the DVR, and the Medium I have been wanting to see stopped recording 20 minutes into it.

Ok, well then I will just hook up my Wii and play my new game, Wii Active. Find the new cord I ordered (red/blue/green, new TV only has one input for red/white/yellow). I get the cord plugged in and Wii working (unsuccessfully at first, no sound) to find that we already had the cord I just ordered and waiting a week for an overpaid on shipping for, it must have come with one of the aftermarket accessory packs. Oh well, no use crying over spilled milk. Put Wii Active in and my console tells me I need to update! ARG! I have a temper tantrum and get over it. I go to plug in my aftermarket Wiichargable (sorry, couldn’t help it) battery pack for my WiiFit board- no dice, the light won’t come on. The 13 yr old brings me batteries, no dice. I get new batteries and finally it works.

So I set up the game, strap on the leg holster for the nunchuck and immediately it finds the ONLY workout I hate, running in place. As I am running, the leg holster starts slipping off, I tighten it, and I can feel a shooting pain down my leg as it constricts my blood flow and I feel like I have a bad case of sciatica. I finish my “run” just to have the very next exercise require the same torture device. Oh well, I will just play another game, I have 3 or 4 of them.

I put in WiiFit plus, load my profile, and I get the message “To start, please step off me and press A”… ok, I am not stepping on you, but ok… press A it recalculates and says the same message again. Turn the board on and off and same message. So I find a forum talking about how to fix it, make it through all the steps just to have the controller die. Get a new controller, it too is dead, in fact all five of them are dead. I guess the universe wants me to give up and be slovenly; I will try again in a few hours of them on the charger.

With facebook not working right, I really should be using this time more productively… I mean I do have a house to pre-pack, and hundreds of pounds of stuff I don’t plan on moving gone through and tossed or donated. I have boxes to fill up to save money on packing. I have beef stew to start, a fridge and freezer to clean, not to mention an entire house to clean. I would really like to be out of here in a week, but is that realistic?

Alright, I need to wrap this up to get back to stressing, err working. This will be behind us soon, we will be settled and happy and it will all be a distant memory. We have moved before, and we survived, and we will move again, there is no doubt.

No Comments | In: A lot about nothing | tags: Family, Insanity, Lame-o, Moving, Ramblings, Stress. | #

It’s been about 18 days since Bobby got home and it is unbelievable to me that it wasn’t just yesterday. These last few weeks have been a blur of activity, and I feel like I have not even had time to exhale, yet alone process. He’s spending a lot of time working at home, and my routine of taking kids to and from school, cleaning, and going to appointments has resumed. But the craziest thing of this is that we are *still* in limbo. We still do not have authorization to move! Yes, here we are at 16 days past the day I planned to be gone, and we don’t even know when and where we are going.

I cope by knitting another row onto an afghan I have been working on for two years. I listen to Bob Marley and remind myself that “every little thing, gonna be alright”, I drink tea and sometimes wine, and take walks and watch documentaries on Netflix. But no matter how much I distract myself, I am still frustrated that we still don’t have the information we thought we would have at the end of December; and every other Wednesday I am thankful that he still has a paycheck, and insurance, and a job, even if he is at home driving me nuts.

I used to romanticize the idea of working from home, but if anything, the last couple weeks has taught me that working from home is the equivalent at working in prison, with between one to five noisy cellmates hanging off of you like a bunch of baby orangutans. I sometimes wonder if he volunteers to go to the store in the evenings just to get away from it all, and even then he usually has to drag along a few primates with him. I really respect that he hasn’t gone all “Here’s Johnny!” on us and redrum-ed the kids and I.

So whenever I complain to myself that I am tired, frustrated, or frazzled (the trifecta of mommy-hood) I just remind myself that not only is he dealing with the same triple-punch, but on top of that has deadlines and reports and real-actual-get-paid-for-work that he has to complete without a nice, quiet space to run off to. Sometimes the silver lining is obvious, sometimes you have to dig deep to find it, but know that it is always there.

1 Comment | In: A lot about nothing | tags: Bobby, Domestic Diva, House Stuff, Insanity, Lame-o, Moving, Updates. | #

Today Bobby asked his boss if he is confident enough with sending us to Ft. Lewis that he would sign a lease if it were him and he got an email back that just said “call me”. Oh man, the proverbial “we have to talk”; that is never good news.

To sum it up, seems like the entire department is going to be going through an overhaul soon and they are not sure how this will change things, so they are trying not to move anyone until they have all the kinks worked out. So now we don’t know if Ft. Lewis is still on the table, and when we would need to be there. We were planning on being there in early February, but now it is impossible. On a positive note, while they are sorting things out he stays here & works from home, which means he can help me with pre-move purging.

Speaking of pre-move purging, we had a walk-through with Mayflower and we have about 3,000 pounds of stuff to get rid of to get our cost below what the company allows.

I refuse to lose hope, no one says this has to change the statement that we will be needed in Washington state. Purging will be good for us, we have a ton of stuff that has outgrown its usefulness that I just have not had a chance to remove, large bulky things I cannot move on my own. This is positive, really it is, I have to believe it, we just don’t know what it means yet.

No Comments | In: A lot about nothing | tags: Bobby, House Stuff, Insanity, Moving. | #

This move is teaching me a very valuable lesson on men and women. It seems no matter how stressed I get, or how mad, or sad, or frustrated or any other range of emotion I feel about waiting for confirmation about this move, my husband has appeared to me to be very nonchalant and calm about it. This morning I think I snapped and finally sent him this email.

Hey, I know you are trying to stay on top of this move situation, but I am seriously feeling major stress and I don’t know what else I can do. No matter where we go it is going to be very hard for me to find a place for us to live without giving away all our pets and kids and I am just not sure what else to do to avoid getting ulcers. The longer we go without an answer, the more anxiety I feel and I start crying and have panic attacks multiple times a day. Can you think of any way we can communicate to your boss that we really need to have a for sure answer? Every person I have talked to in Olympia has told us they want us to have one full month notice before moving into a house, which means the longer we go without an answer, the longer the 6 of us live in a hotel together. If we end up going to VA, it will probably take even longer to find a place, and we may end up having to board the pets at anywhere from $12-30 per pet, per day.

Heather

About 30 minutes later he called me, and got me to laugh and smile. He told me he had tried calling his boss several times and left him a voice message. When I freaked out on him and told him I wanted him to fly home so I could choke him for not being emotional like I was (this statement was made very light-hearted, and we both knew it). He told me he knew this was hard on me, and he was allowing me to cry and complain and freak out because he knew I needed to. He knew one of us needed to be strong, so he decided to take on that role. So when I freaking out that he was not freaking out, he was being strong because he knew one of us needed to be or we would both be puddles of goo over this.

This made me realize, that when I felt I was carrying this load alone, not only was he helping me carry it, but in addition he was carrying ME! It is times like this that I really appreciate my husband, even if he does things differently than I do, and does not carry his emotions on his sleeves, it does not mean that he does not have emotions, he just expresses them differently than I do. I am glad he allowed me to step back and see things at face value, so I was not sitting here brooding and stressing, feeling like I was slaying the dragon all by myself.

2 Comments | In: This is how I roll | tags: Bobby, Marriage, Me, Moving, Ranting. | #

Yesterday evening I had writing out a whiny, negative status about the lack of housing I was finding with my pets, and I decided, if I wanted to attract positive, I needed to think positive, so I deleted my whine, and wrote a very positive message Tomorrow will be a better day. Tomorrow will give us more positive leads on pet friendly homes. We WILL find the perfect home soon. And the government will give us an definite answer soon. The Washington State move is going to go GREAT! Let this become my new affirmation. This all came from a series of phone calls from a large rental agency in Olympia with about 10 homes in our price range, with the numbers of bedrooms we need, who claimed to be “pet friendly” who told us that with our two dogs, and three cats, that they have absolutely no rentals that would allow my number of pets, and told me they imagine no one would.

My mood after this phone call was so low that all I wanted to do was whine and vent and cry, but when I chose to be positive about it and post the positive message, my mood became more positive and immediately I was contacted by a home owner who was willing to consider us, despite our number of pets. Even though he has yet to give me an answer (same with the government, they have yet to give us a 100%), I remain more positive, because if someone is willing to say maybe, someone WILL say yes. This is the far cry from the “no one” I was told, and allowed me to get down in the dumps.

Today, I was emailed by another company, and they gave me a choice of 6 houses, but when I told them about my pets, they told me of a house that was the same price as the other ones, but nearly 1,000 square feet larger where it would be fine for me to have my animals. So now I have one for sure I can look at, and now four houses that are maybes. I am confident that in less than a week we will have our definite answer from his company, as well as have housing secured.

Next time you start feeling down in the dumps, just remember the power of the positive and see how much you can make a difficult situation turn around!

No Comments | In: A lot about nothing | tags: Fur Babies/Pets, House Stuff, Insanity, Me, Moving. | #

My stomach is a bundle of nerves, I feel like I could puke at any minute. I really do think stress is getting the best of me.

We thought today would be the day we knew where we were going, but that information didn’t come. We have roughly 3 1/2 weeks now until he is supposed to be home and we are supposed to be moving. I feel like I am wasting the last few weeks I have in Colorado, instead of preparing to move. I feel like I am being wasteful of my husband’s homecoming, because I will still have so much to do.

I did get his car battery replaced though, but not after paying $46 to cover the test at the dealership. Thankfully it was less than the $90 I expected. I ended up not asking the auto part store for the money to cover the bill, it just didn’t seem worth the fight, I am already dealing with enough. It was just so nice to have a car that starts without having to jump it that I just decided to let it go.

7 Comments | In: A lot about nothing | tags: Auto Stuff, Moving, Ranting. | #

Wow, feels like my entire life revolves around moving. From the bids I am getting for our deck, bathroom outlet switch and cupboard door…. to the storage unit I rented today to move stuff out of the house that we won’t need until Virginia, to the most awesome news of all….. IT IS SEPTEMBER!!! Which means the neighbors from hell are MOVING!!! YAY!!! They have been slowly moving stuff out for weeks, I am sure the homeowner would love that they are parking on his lawn to haul stuff out in true NFH form. Their garage is packed full with identical electronic boxes…. I guess no one can have enough DVD players and stereo receivers… right??

Today, the contractor that came by was giving me tips on maximizing my value and he said “your biggest downfall is going to be the tricked-out-hoopty next door. People are not going to want to live next to people who look like they live in the hood”… wow, he can peg them just by their cars… niiiice.

Monday, our realtor is stopping by and I am so excited to finally get some answers to the big questions… like how much can we get out of this house for, what do I need to do to make it marketable, and should we turn the nursery/office into a nursery, or an office? LOTS of work until Monday, there will be no rest this weekend!

No Comments | In: A lot about nothing | tags: Family, Moving, NFH (Neighbors From Hell), Sleep Deprivation. | #