Mistakes in Motherhood

Bobby left this afternoon. Poor guy won’t land until 10:15 am tomorrow my time. 21 hours of traveling, ack, I feel so bad for him; that is just when he lands too, who knows how long it will be before they let him retire to his quarters for the night.

I am not sure when I will be able to talk to him, I don’t expect to be able to hear from him for a few more days, but this time I am not feeling as paranoid as I was last time.

The kids are doing OK, Matthew misses daddy the most because he does not understand where he is, when he is coming home, and why he left.

2 Comments | In: People, Places & Things | tags: Bobby, Family, Matthew, Overseas Assignment. | #

A couple weeks ago, I had a good cry fest to my friend Lynne about feeling lost; she was there for me when Bobby went to Iraq the first time as a soldier. Her husband is still enlisted AND she works for the military helping spouses through deployments. I was feeling dejected by all my friends and I felt like I was alone. A couple of my military “friends” made me feel like crap because “I don’t have it as tough as they do”, an acquaintance made me feel bad by venting and saying I felt like a single mom. She snapped at me and said I was clueless to the trials and tribulations of a single parent because I have my husband’s income. I was feeling dejected by anyone I felt I related with, and my circle of support kept feeling smaller & smaller.

Lynne offered me her shoulder and then kicked my butt into action. She gave me some ideas on how to make this year easier on all of us, some of which I have already set into action.

• Find a church family and attend regularly
• Join the YMCA for the kids & I to have an activity together & apart
• Find someone to help me with the kids, a babysitter, mother’s helper, or drop-in daycare
• Find someone to help me with household chores, someone to help me clean

The day after I spoke to her on the phone, I attended a church I have been wanting to visit for years.
I have found a neighbor who is a member of the YMCA, and I have found another friend who said she would join if I did. I have not found childcare yet, but I have a few ideas for help with housekeeping. I hope to continue to make positive changes in our lifestyle that nourish our minds, bodies & souls.

2 Comments | In: This is how I roll | tags: Babysitting, Bobby, Family, Me, Overseas Assignment, Ramblings. | #

Bobby and I did our legal paperwork today. We each did our wills, living wills and power of attorneys to prepare for this big trip. I feel so sorry for our notary, it was not pretty and we ended up messing up on two of the documents which we will have to reprint and take in tomorrow. Next time we are getting a lawyer, this was really a HUGE pain in the butt.

We have also been dealing with a mess with HR, they want too many things done with not enough time to get them done. I am hoping that the new change in location and divisions of his company do not interfere with our current health insurance, or more importantly my appointment with the rheumatologist on the 28th, it could be 6 months to get another appointment if I have to miss this.

I have been having mini-panic-attacks all day with the realization that it is only 3 more days before he leaves. He will have a few days to come home after his trip to Virgina, Massachusetts, and Georgia for training, but then he will be gone for a year, with only one trip home in that time. The guys over in Iraq that he will be working with have been amazingly helpful. They have told us he will have his own room, cable TV, a personal cell phone that he can use to call home for around 9 cents a minute, SLOW wireless in his room. He is also going to be in a well established area, with 2 gyms, a Subway, a Burger King, a Pizza Hut and a CINNABON! WAHHHH, I told him it sounds like he is going on a long vacation, not a hardship tour. I know better. I know this will be much harder on him than it will the kids and I. We have each other, we are in the comfort of our own home. He is a very special man to be able to make such a selfless sacrifice to ensure his family is taken care of, and to keep moving up through the company ladder.

No Comments | In: A lot about nothing | tags: A lot about nothing, Bobby, Health, Insanity, Lame-o, Overseas Assignment, Ranting. | #

Bobby just got a call from the interview coordinator in DC, they offered him the job and we have accepted!! He starts January 12th, deploys for Iraq (we knew and actually hoped for this) in February, and then will return a year later. The pay is a little lower than I hoped, but it is still a promotion and still makes up for the higher cost of living, and the year in Iraq more than makes up for the difference I had in my mind because we can use that money to get out of debt and when you are DEBT FREE you can survive on a LOT less.

The next month is going to be a whirlwind of activity as we prepare, we need to update our wills, get me a few Power of Attorneys, get him packed, increase our life insurance policies and spend as much time preparing the kids emotionally as possible. I know this is going to be a great opportunity for our family, as bittersweet as it is.

1 Comment | In: People, Places & Things | tags: Announcements, Bobby, Finances, Overseas Assignment. | #

Bobby interviewed this morning at 9am est, I did not get a call three hours later until he was at the airport. He felt it went well and it sounds like what we are looking for so we are happy. We will know hopefully in a week if he got it or not. If he gets the job, he will likely be deploying to Iraq in Jan ’09-Jan ’10, we are ok with this and it will give us all time to get out of debt and get the house ready for sale without us having to pay for rent in DC and a mortgage in CO until we could join him 6 months later. We knew the job would require deployments every few years and honestly we hoped it would be sooner than later so we did not have to be apart longer than a year and have to worry about short term leasing and such.

He is so sick of traveling though, by the time he gets home it will be 12 hours since he first got to the airport. His long layover was extended when he did not hear that his departure gate was changed, and when he heard his name over the intercom, the woman at the old gate said “I did not page you” and brushed him off and he missed his flight and had to wait another two hours for the next one. I was really hoping to get him at 8, because the kids go to bed at 8, now they have to be up until 11 and they are going to be exhausted in the morning.

1 Comment | In: Uncategorized | tags: Bobby, Overseas Assignment. | #