Happy 2012


I have had a busy 3 weeks. For any new readers, my husband works all over the world, but since March 1, 2011 he has been working in Afghanistan and Iraq. A month or so ago he got an email from his boss informing him that he had unused paid vacation and that they needed to be used up by the end of the year, or some of it would be lost. We knew to bring him home we would have to pay out of pocket for airfare, and that we had a limit on how long he could stay in order to get the maximum deductions as an ex-patriot on our taxes, and with paid days off in December-January, we were able to bring him home for 3 weeks over winter break. The kids were home from school his entire vacation, save for 1 day.

Because he missed Thanksgiving because he was traveling, I made him a complete turkey dinner with all the fixings. We also had a great Christmas and got our very first live tree, and went to a tree farm to get it. Then, for new years, my sisters and I all went to my moms house and had an incredible weekend together. The kids did an ornament exchange and my mom made a huge, wonderful, dinner for the 22 of us. Today, the fun was all over. The kids went back to school. Bobby boarded a plane back to Afghanistan (via Paris and Dubai). Thankfully I was so busy with driving to Seattle, and first of the month errands that reality has not yet set in. I am sure as we transition back into our old routine, that will change and we will all struggle in our own ways, until once again we get back into routine and it will get easy again. Until then, I will continue to hug my kids extra close, and remind them how special and loved they are.



A poem, for my God


I asked God for a daughter. And he gave me a son.
And I praised Him. And I loved my boy.

I asked God for a daughter. And he gave me a son.
He grew in my heart, and not in my womb.
And I praised Him. And I loved my boy.

I asked God for a baby. And he made me wait.
I loved on my sons. And I praised Him.
I accepted His plan, for just two sons, and he filled my womb.

I asked God for a daughter. And he gave me a son.
And I cried. But I praised him. And I loved my boy.

I asked God for a baby. And he made me wait.
I loved on my sons. And I praised Him.
I accepted His plan, for just three sons, and he filled my womb.

I asked God to give me whatever he wanted, I just wanted him/her healthy.
And he gave me a daughter. And I praised Him.
He made her three times as girly. Three times as sassy. Three times as sweet.
And I praised him. I loved my girl. He completed my family.

He filled my womb, which came as a shock. But I praised him.
And I said “PLEASE GOD, MAKE HIM A SON!”
And he did. For God does not give you more than you can handle.

:)



What might have been


A conversation with a friend today took me down memory lane. I am seriously astounded at the glimpse I saw of our alternate life. If he had not been injured, Bobby would probably have made his E-7 with 14 years in. He would be on his 5th or 6th trip overseas. We probably would not have had our 4th and 5th children, since the reproduction help I needed with Sophia would not have been affordable out of pocket (our old insurance covered it). We may not have even had a 3rd! We were struggling in our relationship and it was the fear that I could lose him that melted the ice in my heart, and if we had pulled through and still had Matthew, he would have missed Matthew’s birth by just a few weeks. We probably would have been still struggling with debt, who knows where we would be living. And you know, it just goes to show, HOW much we are given when we face hardships and struggles. Seven to eight years ago was the darkest time in my life. I was struggling with my marriage, with my role as a step-mom, with myself. When Bobby was injured, it was a wakeup call how precious life is, how much I loved my husband, my life, my children. I realized there was no shame in being a mother as a career and how much I truly needed to be in my kids’ life, and how important it was for them to have two parents who love them, and grow up in a happy home.

I hate that my husband deals with chronic pain. I would take that burden from him in a heartbeat if I could, and it would STILL be worth every single struggle. I once saw an interview with a young Native American teenager who said he would chose the muddy road over easy street, because only the man who struggled and built his muscles on the muddy road emerges a warrior.



That’s my mommy. I like her.


Earlier this week I had a busy busy day. My new bed was delivered (which I LOVE) and the carpet my daughter ruined 6 months ago was replaced with vinyl. Sophie was SO up the rear end of the repairman it was hilarious. Any time the door opened she would chine “IT’S CHRIS!” and he would mirror back to her “yes, it is Chris!” and she would run check in on him every 2-3 minutes. I was in the other room with Liam and I hear Sophie talking to Chris. She’s got that know-it-all tone going on and I just know her hand is on her hip. She says “That is my mommy. I like her. She’s nice. She’s my girl.” At this point both Chris and I are cracking up. She is such a sweet little pixie. I like her. She’s my girl.



Cleaning, simplifying, and organizing.


With the oldest 3 kids in school I have been struggling a bit trying to keep the princess from being bored without her entertainment. She did not care for my ideas; coloring turned her into a sobbing puddle of goo, reading to her just annoyed her, and car rides to do stuff just ended in us both being frustrated. About the only thing she enjoyed doing was taking out every toy she owned, and digging through her dresser and discarding clean clothes onto the floor mixed with dirty clothes. Flustered, I had had enough. I reached out to my friends on Facebook who recommended toy rotation. And so the planning process started. I made a difficult decision to finally allow the 6 year old and 3 year old share a room, they had been asking for a year, but when I let them sleep in the room with the bunk beds, sleepovers were always cut short because of climbing accidents.

So instead of moving the kids into the room with the bunk beds, I left the loft portion of the bed in the playroom and removed the latter, and put the bottom bed into Sophie’s room. We got two large bags of clothes out of dressers to go to Goodwill, and packed up NINE totes of toys, each tote holding 11 gallons, which will be stored in our storage room until we rotate them in, and move other toys out. It was hard to let go of a lot of the clothes. In the process I also donated the last of my scrub sets. It was a hard decision, I always thought about going back to nursing school, or working as a nurse aide again, but it just does not make sense to store them any longer, especially when I can easily get more at places like http://www.blueskyscrubs.com/ so easily.

I am tickled at how well the two rooms look, and it will be very easy to move Liam’s crib into the play room once he is ready to leave our room. Bedtime has not been as seamless, 6 days later we are still struggling with them falling asleep in a timely matter. We are still dealing with fighting and tattling, but either in time I will grow immune, or they will chill it out. Another perk, I now have a “guest room”, so as long as you don’t mind literally climbing into bed, or sleeping in a room filled with toys.

Next on the agenda, is going to be going through my kitchen to get rid of dishes, and appliances I no longer need. Taking a trip to the dump, and getting my storage room back in control.



Flats Challenge: Day 8, a day late


#FlatsChallengeI ended up throwing in the towel half way into day 8. However, I made it the whole 7 days, and I felt fine conceding. I decided to put little boy back into pockets because he had a stealth-poo and took a long nap, and when he woke up, his little bits were pretty angry. I tossed my flats in and covers in the washer and I feel pretty darn proud of myself. When I was folding laundry tonight I was able to get a better grip on how many flats, wipes and covers I ended up using.

  • 5 covers, 4 Thirsties v2, size small, $6.50 from Diaper Swappers, and 1 Fab Fitted, print, $13.25. Total $39.25
  • 16 Target Flour Sack Towels, $1 each, 3 birdseye Flats, $1.80 each, 2 preemie prefolds, .80 each. Total $23
  • 1 snappi $4, 15 wipes $3 (repurposed, torn blankets, and baby washcloths). Homer camp style Wash Bucket, $7. Total $14

So for $76.25, I was able to cloth diaper my baby, with the right supplies, for life!

The good: Flats were surprisingly easy! Folding was not as complicated or time consuming as I assumed. We had 3 leaks in 8 days, so they are very absorbent. I had no problem changing a diaper at 6am while half asleep with a wiggly baby. Being a geographically single mom with 4 other kids did not complicate it. My flats are SO forgiving, they are still beautiful white, soft, and smell like cotton. One of my covers got a little stained, but nothing that will effect wear. I love how trim they are, and how small they will fold into my suitcase when we travel. Line drying was so simple, and even on an overcast cool slightly breezy day, clothesline flats and covers dried much faster than inside hung diapers. Overnight is the perfect amount of time for indoor drying.

The bad: I will not lie, hand washing was hard. It was time consuming, tiring, and I really missed my washer and dryer at the end. In a real life situation I would probably have a larger quantity of diapers, and covers on hand. I would probably also try to borrow a washer a few times a week. I also would use a better plunger, my wood handled plunger ended up flaking paint onto my diapers. I also was not impressed on how much water it took to get my diapers clean.

The ugly: My hands are pretty calloused, my shoulders hurt the first part of the week, and my nerves were shot at the end by trying to wash quickly while the baby was napping, or folding flats off the line one handed with baby in arms. Liam was less than patient at times, and there were washes where I would get the baby calmed, run, agitate two minutes, comfort a baby again, plunge some more.

What I would do/do different: Like I said, I better handle for a plunger was necessary. My adjustable shower head that can adjust to a single jet was a lifesaver. A wet pail where it could not pose a drowning risk was so helpful. Hangers and clothespins to hang diapers from worked out so well. Line drying even when chilly and overcast pays off. A sense of humor was mandatory, as well as a healthy dose of determination. Splashing was almost guaranteed, wearing pajamas that I was going to change out of with pants rolled up worked well. I may have looked for a faster drying cover, I look forward to an Econobum coming in the mail, I hear they dry well. NEVER underestimate the power of the sun, instant whitener and stain lifter!

The best thing about this challenge was my confidence in myself, the amazing sense of community I gained, and the information gathered that I could not help but tell everyone about! In the forums, I repeatedly told people to try flats and come look at my blog. In Target, I stopped a young couple who were cloth diapering their baby and struggling with the start up cost and gave them a primer on flat use. And to my mom, who was probably ready for me to shut up already on cloth diapers in general.

What I am going to do next: Because I know I have all these new flats that I enjoy using, I am going to start de-stashing. I already got rid of quite a few older diapers. Next going will be newborn diapers split between 2 families, and then all my girly diapers to a friend north of me. After that? Who knows. Maybe I will find a family to sponsor with a primer guide as well as a half dozen flats and a cover?

Thank you Kim, at Dirty Diaper Laundry for taking us with you on what you described as Diaper Boot Camp. I feel like a much stronger warrior now, and I will continue to fight for the cause; for healthy bottoms, healthy budgets, and a healthy planet!




Flats Challenge: Day 6


#FlatsChallenge
Glorious sunshine, and nary a wet diaper to hang! It looks like today is the coolest day of the long weekend, and the next two weeks will be nice and toasty, so I will wash my covers tonight as to not repeat the procrastination damp cover mistake from yesterday, but wash my flats in the morning so they can be sunning. We had a minor leak today, even with a doubled up diaper, but it was following a nursing marathon and a long nap.

The nicest thing about this challenge is the tips I have gained from the community of other bloggers participating in this experiment, just click on any of the links below and visit any of these extraordinary bloggers. Make sure you comment and tell them how awesome they doing.

Cotton Bottom Mama hung her diapers with clothes pins on hangers and then hung her diapers in a nice neat row on her shower. What a great tip! No more diapers hanging from every single surface of my bathroom!!

Another tip I read was to beat up your diapers against furniture to soften them up! This works so well, my diapers are no longer stiff, and the helpers were eager to lend a hand. I have to say, I have the cutest help ever! I was worried how well I would be able to juggle 5 kids, flats, and hand washing, especially without my husband’s help (he’s in Afghanistan), but it has been a lot easier than I imagined. I do want to say sorry to my husband, there were a few times when we were Skyping that he would run off to go shower, and I would run off to churn diapers and he would be back and dressed, and I had left him waiting. Sorry honey!




Flats Challenge: Day 5


#FlatsChallengeToday I ran into my front snag. Liam fell asleep in my arms while I was talking with a neighbor after taking Matt to the bus stop. Since he rarely does this, I figured I would ray him in his crib and get some nice baby free time. He rarely naps out of my arms, so it was awesome when I was able to lay him down and get some chores done. Unfortunately I forgot to change him before the trip to the bus stop. I also forgot that I was testing a single flat in a pad fold. I also had him in a larger cover that I normally use for night time, so it was not as snug. When he woke up he had this first leak. Not bad I guess considering it was probably the 40th flat. I blame this on user error, not diaper failure.

Last night, it looked like we might be clearing up, so I decided not to wash diapers and to wash and hang them in the morning, so I can sun them in the afternoon and dry them in a couple hours vs. overnight, and naturally bleach them. Mistake #2. I KNEW the forecast wasn’t calling for sun this week. I had one clean cover left, and he had already had a big poop earlier, I would be fine. I washed and hung his diapers and I noticed him turning red. I guess the poop earlier was just a warm up, and this was the main attraction. I cleaned him, got him nice and doubled up, went to grab a cover and none was to be found! I looked on the rack and four were hanging and I just put the 5th into my soapy bucket so I could wash it too. So if I really was without a washer and dryer, today I think I would have run screaming to the laundromat or to a friends house. Since this was an emergency, I decided to think of a way to rapidly dry the diaper that the average family home and the only thing I could think of was the hair dryer. I may have been cheating, but while the baby happily chewing on his feet in a diaper sans cover, I was washing the newly pooped in diaper and had the hair dryer angled to blow on the dryest of my 4 covers. It got done just in time too, after he nursed, Liam was exhausted and went to bed.

Overall though, I still wish I had known about flats when I was a new mama. My hubby had just joined the Army and we were struggling and living paycheck to paycheck. I remember letting him wear his diapers an extra hour or so because I knew how expensive they were. I remember counting change and hoping we could scrape together enough for a small bag of generics because we were a few days from payday. Even if I had cloth diapered part time, it would have really stretched our budget. However, in 1997, I didn’t know anything about cloth back then outside of the diapers my mother used one me. Even back then, I would have had options outside of the rubber pants my mom used on me. That is a picture of my mom and I in 1980. I was 15 months old.




Cloth Diaper Primer: An introduction to today’s modern diapers


Okay, I am going to geek out on you guys here so bear with me. Six years ago, I set out on a quest to cloth diaper my kiddos after a girl in a pregnancy forum mentioned Fuzzi Bunz and I started looking into the modern cloth diaper. Fuzzi Bunz are a type of diaper called a “pocket diaper”. Rubber pants are a thing of the past and now most cloth diapers can be sorted into four categories:

  • AIO, or All in One
  • Pockets
  • Covers
  • Hybrid or All in Two

Let me go deeper into the difference. All the diapers mentioned above are just the main part of the diaper, and what make them waterproof. I will explain to you the difference between each one and discuss the pros, and cons.

All in One
The simplest of all cloth diapers to put on the baby and to prepare, these diapers are often called dad/babysitter/daycare friendly. This is because they truly are wash & go. These diapers have improved in the last five years and now are easier for to get cleaner in the wash and dry faster than the older AIO choices. Most now have an absorbent pad that either lays on top of the diaper, agitates out on the wash, or many other creative solutions. The older style had the absorbent layers sewn in, without any way to add extra layers for long car trips, sleep, or a heavy wetter. They also did not dry as fast, or get as clean. Manufacturers are listening and have come up with some wonderful creative solutions to solve the problems the older all-in-one diapers had. At $18-27 per diaper, AIOs tend to be the most expensive cloth solution.

Pockets
Also dad/babysitter/grandparent friendly are pocket diapers. That is because with a little more prep work than the AIO, the diaper can simply be snapped or hooked on with aplix or touchtape (think velcro-like). These diapers are what they sound like, a pocket. The layer closest to the baby is usually made up of suedecloth, fleece, or other stay dry material, like the outer layer is made of polyurethane laminate (PUL). The difference between a AIO and pocket, is that the pocket diaper alone has no absorbent properties. The second step to these diapers is then to stuff them with an insert, or a long, thin pad that pulls the moisture away from the baby and holds it until the baby is changed. Some of these inserts are made of microterry, hemp, cotton, or other similar material. Pocket diapers usually include some sort of insert, but many moms will chose to buy more to either add absorbancy, or upgrade the quality of washability/antimicrobial properties. The disadvantage of this diaper is that the opposite of stuffing, is unstuffing; the peed/pooped on insert must (usually) be removed from the diaper before they are washed. Some diapers have openings on both sides of the diaper, allowing the insert to agitate out in the wash. Depending on the quality of diaper, and if you chose to upgrade inserts, pocket diapers can run between $10-24.

Covers
Covers are the most economical and most versatile diaper of the three, however, it also has steepest learning curve of the three. Covers can be made of PUL, wool, or fleece. They can either enclose with snaps, hook & loop, or pull on. However, they cannot be used alone. The diaper must have something underneath it to catch the mess, these can include fitteds, which are made of bamboo, cotton, hemp, and snap or hook and loop onto the baby, with the cover then placed over the top. Another option is to use a prefold diaper, either hooked together with pins, or a Snappi (T shaped stretchy object, with small hooks that grip to the diaper and hold it closed), or folded and laid flat into the cover. The cheapest option is to use flats, or a large single layer of material, folded in various styles to improve absorbancy, and like the prefold, then laid into a cover, or closed with pins or a Snappi. The other advantage to a cover, is that they can be used for multiple changes, as long as the diaper is changed and the cover is not soiled. Some can be wiped dry, or like wool, can be worn many times before washing. If you use wool or fleece, the other advantage is breathability.

  • Covers or wraps are usually made of PUL are the most common of the types of covers, the easiest to find commercially, and can be wiped out with a cloth wipe and re-used, unless soiled. PUL covers usually run around $10-18.
  • Fleece either comes with pull on options, or fasten on like PUL covers. They can also be sewn as pants, shorts, or skirts. Like PUL covers, there is no need to wash these after a single use, they can be hung to dry an used until the end of the day, until soiled, or until stinky. Fleece also breathes better than PUL, and if you can sew can be made for the cost of materials. However, very few commercial manufacturers make fleece covers, so to get fleece your best option is etsy, or Hyenacart. Prices run from around $7-18.
  • Wool covers are probably the most expensive of the three options to buy, but if you want to avoid man made products, wool is the very best choice. Like fleece, wool can come in covers that pull on, or wraps that button, and can come in pants, shorts, covers, or skirts. If you can knit, crochet, or know how to upcycle sweaters, wool can be inexpensive, however commercially made wool diapers can run from $30-90, and SAHM made can run from $10-50+. Wool also needs to be prepped once every 1-2 weeks by soaking in a solution of lanolin, baby shampoo, and water, and then laid flat to air dry. Wool must be hand washed, but with its antimicrobial properties does not need to be washed often and does not immediately get stinky.

Hybrid or All in Two
Similar to PUL wraps, hybrids are simply put a cloth/disposable option. Instead of putting a cloth diaper/insert into the hybrid (or just occasionally) hybrids can house a disposable option. A eco friendly soaker, that will either break down in a landfill, compost, or flush (depending on the manufacturer’s instructions) is placed into the cover, and when it is wet or soiled it is disposed of and a new disposable insert is put in. Some parents prefer this option when traveling, or when at daycare, and then use prefolds or inserts in them when not on the go. The advantage of this type of system is you are not carrying waste with you when you travel, the disadvantage is that even after the initial investment, the cost can keep accumulating. The cost is around $14-18 for the cover only, and disposable inserts run between $5-10 for 20.

Up front, diapers may seem like a big investment, but they will pay for themselves before the baby is born, even when you use the most expensive diapers. According to Diaper Decisions the cost of cloth is between 6 and 23 cents per diaper change, including the cost of washing. Where the cost of disposables is about 36 cents per diaper for the most common brand. That doesn’t even count the extra washes of clothing from blowouts. 30 to 13 cents may not seem like a lot, until you figure that if your child potty trains at 2 1/2, you will have changed 7200. At a minimum, you are saving between $1,000 to $2,200, now imagine how much more you would save if you re-used those same diapers on another child, or sold them when you were done to recoup between 50-75% of your original purchase price.



In the last 3 weeks


I have been so very busy. On May 7th, the day before Mother’s Day, I declared I was going to proclaim today as my mother’s day. My oldest son presented me with a card he bought and he and all his siblings filled out. He traced Sophie and Liam’s hand on it. He also had gone to three different different store looking for a specific candy I like without luck, and settled on three of my favorite candy bars. Our sweet neighbor gave him a pretty gift box. Matthew planted me a plant in a flower pot he decorated, and made me a card. My husband told me if I didn’t go buy myself a Keurig, he would buy one for me, spend a lot more, and have to mail it to me.

I was also feeling sentimental, so I sent Austin’s birth mom a text message thanking her for allowing me to be his mommy. She called me right back and we talked for about 30 minutes. It was nice to hear that she had no regrets, I have always worried she consented to the adoption out of desperation, and not because she truly wanted the best for him.

On Sunday, Austin turned 15. This is why I did Mother’s Day early. I knew he would make a fuss about it, and I didn’t want anything to distract him from his birthday. The little stinker still did, he made me breakfast in bed, and made eggs and bacon for the little ones. For his birthday dinner, he wanted me to make him BBQ Ribs on the grill. I also made corn bread and green beans. It was delicious. He played with his friends most of the day, he literally came home when the street lights came on. It was glorious. Our gift was delivered on Monday, a trampoline! The “t” was partially obscured on the package, so now the kids call it “the rampoline”.

For three days Austin and I built the rampoline together. Christopher helped keep the little three busy. I may or may not have taught Austin some new words as we stretched springs, and pulled safety nets tight. On the first day, I took a break for dinner, and just when I was about to put the last 5 of 8 safety net poles up, I asked Austin “do you smell something chemically??” He looked downstairs, and I looked in my bathroom, and I do believe my head exploded. That is a full bottle of deep purple nail polish, and some bare minerals face powder. I scrubbed on that thing for probably 6 hours (I was up until 3am) and I managed to lighten it to a lilac color, but it didn’t come out. I will need to replace the carpet in my bathroom. Right now it is half vinyl, half carpet, and I am hoping our landlord will let us rip out all the flooring in the bathroom and replace it with coordinating vinyl.
Liam is growing so fast, too fast. His new name is Mr. Grabbyhands. He has learned how to play with the toys on his bouncer to activate music. He has also learned how to make mama yelp in pain by grabbing onto a huge handful of hair and yanking really hard. He also can roll from his belly to his back, and most recently his back to his belly.