While Bobby was in Wisconsin, I got a pretty big shock.

See that little line? *Squint* Now do you?

This is my test from April 15th, I followed it up with a blood test which was also positive. I was in total shock. Seems like we were not as careful as we could have been the day before he went to Wisconsin.

Shock has faded, and now I am excited. Bobby is happy too, even though we has decided we were done.

On May 7th, I was able to see my little bean for the first time. His/her heart was flickering away and it was the most beautiful little blob I had seen since Sophia’s first scans.

A couple weeks later I got to see him/her again.

We decided we would have another home birth, and interviewed a couple midwives. I found one I love and had my initial appointment at the end of May. The appointment was pretty uneventful, it included vitals, a ton of paperwork and history, information on prenatal testing, and a ton of routine blood work.

I was so sick this pregnancy, much like my pregnancy with Sophia, except this time it started around 3 weeks, then started easing up around 11 weeks, and now is mostly gone, where with Sophia it eased up a bit, but was never gone. Also, unlike Sophia’s pregnancy, I have been able to eat, so I have gained around 5 lbs already, where with her I lost a bunch of weight, however, I also started this pregnancy about 45 pounds lighter than I did with her pregnancy, and Matthew’s pregnancy (where I also lost some weight in the beginning). This is making me guess we are going to have another little girl, but I have been wrong before.

We also decided we are not going to find out the sex of this baby at 20 weeks, as long as this baby cooperates and decides not to be obvious at my 20 week ultrasound. It was funny, I was kind of playing with the idea thinking it would be fun, when Bobby called me and said “I just thought of something crazy, but what if we don’t find out the gender?” Since then it has been settled and I am feeling a lot more at ease about not knowing and am excitedly buying little yellow and white baby items for the first few weeks. It will be so neat to be able to discover on our own what we are having as a family. With Christopher the midwife told us he was a boy at birth, with Matthew and Sophie I was told by the ultrasound tech.

Yesterday I entered the second trimester, such a relief.

I have an appointment with my primary care provider on Tuesday to discuss my own labs and see if she feels I need a referral for more testing.

Then on Thursday I needed to go back to my GYNs office… my IUD was coming out after only two weeks…my body was rejecting it. Crap, so much for 10 year birth control. She put another one in, but I already feel like it too is being rejected… if that happens I don’t know WHAT we will do since any other method that I tolerate is contraindicated with breastfeeding. Please oh PLEASE let my little copper friend stick around this time!

Also on Friday I asked Bobby to look up his tracking for his books that showed they were out for delivery here in town for the last 3 days. Turns out the books decided to take an unscheduled visit to Tennessee. Last reports say it is back here in the state and will hopefully arrive Monday or Tuesday so Bobby can have them for the classes that started last week.

Trick or treating was fun, I wish I had taken pictures, but the “shop from home” ToT challenge was a success. Matthew wore a Hawaiian shirt, floppy hat, sunglasses and a camera and was the cutest “tourist” ever, he got so much candy. Christopher was Harry Potter, and looked so cute, Austin was a reaper, and Sophie was a little pink bear thanks to a little snowsuit Aunt Angie sent her.

Christopher turned 11 yesterday too, I can’t believe 11 years ago I was a mama for the first time… He was such a good baby, he rarely complained about anything.

Miss Sophie was up until 3am last night, I am so tired!

Once I was at ease with my decision I informed my family, who were very uncomfortable with my decision, however they were able to put their own feelings aside to support me. My mom even decided to fly in during my 40th week of pregnancy in hopes of being here for the birth.

My due date, May 30th, came and went without more than Braxton Hicks. The 31st my mom flew in from Washington. On the 1st, my husband, kids and I packed a large picnic and ate it at a local park. That night at 7 pm I started having contractions 8 minutes apart lasting 3 minutes long and needing to be concentrated through. They continued all through the night slowing around 2 am and stopping at 4 am.

I was frustrated and Bobby and I were both exhausted from lack of sleep, so he took the day off from work to stay home with me (June 2nd). Austin and Christopher were acting wild and we were all tired, so I sent them outside to play on their scooter and bike so they would burn off some energy while Bobby and I tried to recover ours. Shortly after leaving, Christopher came in crying, he had fallen off his scooter and we decided it probably needed x-rayed so my mom and I took him to urgent care to get it looked at, sure enough it was broken and he needed to see the orthopedic specialist the next day to see if it needed a cast.

Tuesday morning, I woke up at 7 am no longer able to ignore the contractions that had been waking me in the night. Before he left for work, Bobby told me I had been groaning all night and he would reach over and feel my stomach and it would be hard. I called my midwife Jan and my doula Candace to let them know I may be in pre-labor. The contractions were stronger than the ones on Sunday, but irregular. I took a nap after lunch and they really started to intensify, to the point where I sent my mom and son off to the Ortho with my insurance card and a note because I did not think I would do well at the appointment.

Around 8 pm, on the 3rd, Jan called me to ask how I was doing because she was getting ready for bed and wanted to know if she should expect a call in the night or not, and after talking we decided she would come over just to check on me since I had canceled our appointment earlier that day. When she checked my progress, she said I was 4-5 cm dilated and 95% effaced and wanted to camp out because she felt this was the real deal.

I went ahead and called Candace and she called Kim, who was going to be my second doula, and they arrived around 10 pm. Once everyone got here, my contractions responded and started getting much stronger; however, they were in my back and required a lot of rubbing and counter pressure. Candace and Kim helped me find different positions to labor in and helped me with stair walking activities to make sure my baby was in a good position.

They also rubbed my back with the contractions and my feet and shoulders between them. Around midnight, the pressure was getting more intense so I asked if I could get in the tub, so Jan checked me again and told me I had not made a lot of progress, but she could probably stretch me to 7cm and I was ok to try laboring in the tub.

Once she stretched me, the contractions started coming a lot faster so the water of the birthing tub was heavenly. My contractions slowed and I was able to rest between them, but when they came on they were extremely intense and in my back. I was trying very hard to remain calm, but inside I was starting to feel panicky. Halfway into each of the rushes, I started grunting and pushing a little, but I still was not feeling the urge to push, I just wanted to vocalize and express the sensations I was feeling.

I remember hearing one of my doulas ask Jan if I was complete, she was in the tub with me, and I heard her say “don’t worry; she will push when she is ready”. Hearing these words gave me hope that I may be near the end. The back labor was like nothing I have ever felt before, I did not have the urge to push, yet my body was pushing the baby down and my support team was telling me to push through the sensations and it would feel better. I was feeling frustrated that I was doing all this work and nothing was happening, and the power I was feeling was very intense. I was roaring like a lion with each surge and clinging to my mom and husband for support. Soon I felt the most amazing thing ever as I could feel her coming down into the birth canal, it felt like I had a bowling ball inside of me and I was feeling so powerful, I pushed again and I heard the midwife exclaim the head was out. The rest of her just seemed to slide out and my baby was here! At 1:43 am on Wednesday, June 4th, 2008 my baby girl Sophia Elanna came into this world with open eyes and a very calm demeanor. She also was born with a nuchal hand (hand born next to her head) and I had a tiny “skid mark” which is a tiny abrasion, but not a single tear. I did not need any sort of repair.

The flood of emotions I was feeling was so intense, from trying to process the physical sensations I had felt, to having my baby there in my arms, to just feeling disbelief that I did it. I felt so powerful and even was able to climb out of the tub and onto my bed with little assistance while still holding my baby who had a very short cord. Not long after getting in bed, I delivered the placenta. This was amazing to me since I did not remember that part of my other deliveries, as they wasted no time in my hospital births and pulled it out almost immediately.

Everyone worked on cleaning up while I got a chance to bond and cuddle with my baby girl. She was so calm and wide eyed, and alert. She just took everything in, lifting her head to look around. Jan then did the newborn exam, her APGAR was 9, and she was 6 lbs 10 oz and 18 7/8th inches long.

When the cord stopped pulsating, and was ready to cut, my midwife asked Bobby if he wanted to do it and he declined, so I was about to cut it, but asked my mom to do it, since she was such a key element to my positive birth experience and I felt if anyone deserved the honor, it was her.

Around 3:30 am I took my shower, it was so wonderful, and by a little after 4 am, I was able to go to bed, however I do not think I slept at all until around 7 am when Bobby took her downstairs for a little while to get some cuddle time. Sophie is such a sweet, calm little baby; she is a cuddle bug and nursing like a champion. She does not really have a fussy time, but she does have times where she is active.

This birth, by far, was my most rewarding. Even though I had epidurals to take care of the physical pain in Christopher and Matthew’s hospital births, that could not take away the mental pain of regrets and dissatisfaction with all the interventions. Being in my own home, in my own comfort zone, with an amazing birth & support team, and the amazing techniques I learned from my Hypnobabies home study courses made the entire experience breathtakingly beautiful. I felt so calm, Zen-like during my birthing time, and I was able to handle each contraction as it came, and let it go when it left, and not think about the next one until it was upon me. My head space stayed clean and I never once felt like I could not handle it anymore and needed drugs. I cannot get over the feeling of accomplishment and pride I feel. I did it!

Special thanks to my doulas Candace (above) and Kim (below) who reminded me of my strength through the entire labor and birth, and who’s tireless hands comforted me through each contraction helping me keep my calm. And of course to my calm and collect midwife, Jan, who brought so much wisdom and experience to my birth, and for making it possible for me to fulfill my dream of a homebirth.

And I just had to include this picture, because it shows how tired my poor family is the morning of the birth.

And of course, thank you to my beautiful mother, who flew in to support me during my birth, even though she was uncomfortable with homebirth. She never once wavered in her unconditional love and support. She never once showed fear, even though she told me later she was scared when Sophie was taking a while to clear the mucous from her throat and we let her work it out without suction.

I have been contracting every 4-8 minutes lasting over a minute for the last 2 hours. I was contracting every 5-15 minutes this morning starting at 7am and these are a LOT harder to focus through. Birth team is on standby and I am going to have Bobby take a walk with me when he gets home from work.

I had to send my mom to the ortho with Christopher to get his arm fixed, by herself, in a strange town, in a minivan (she has never driven a minivan) and the staff there were so nice when I called to explain why I could not make it.

Anyways, send me all the “for petes sake, let this FINALLY be the real thing” easy labor vibes and let’s hope I have a good update soon… mama wants this baby girl out NOW!

Well, I guess they were all slacking because I apparently was not busy enough. Austin and Christopher were bored today, so I told them to go outside and play. Austin took his bike, Chris took his scooter. About 20 minutes later, Christopher comes in crying and holding his left arm. He fell off his scooter and caught himself with his wrist. I sent him to run cold water on it and took a shower, thinking he was just sore. Bobby comes in (more on why he was home in a little bit) and tells me it is pretty swollen so he thinks he should be seen. Ok, so I tell him to call urgent care and make an appointment and my mom and I will take him in.

So we get him to urgent care and he in bouncing off the walls, acting totally fine, putting pressure on his arms, making it look like a wasted trip. We actually tell him to settle down because we are worried they will send us home with ice and Motrin and not x-ray his arm. The PA comes in, she is super sweet, takes his history, notes the small amount of swelling and then sends us downstairs to radiology. Chris seems smitten by the cute x-ray tech, she is a pretty little thing though. A short while later, my mom hears someone say “buckle break, room 5″ in the hallway and my mom asks “are we room 5?” Crap. Sure enough, it was us. Christopher broke his arm. The PA tells us the buckle fracture is one of the most common childhood fractures and that he will need to see an orthopedic doctor, however he may or may not need a cast. He has a splint and a sling right now and it seems to be doing fine. Here is a picture of what a buckle break looks like (this is not Christopher’s x-ray, just one I found on the web).

I am keeping plenty busy, between urgent care today, and ortho tomorrow afternoon. I also see my midwife tomorrow for my 40w4d visit, and HOPEFULLY our last prenatal. Last night I was thinking I was going to be seeing her sooner as I had around 9 hours of strong contractions every 8 minutes lasting 3 minutes in length. Around 4am my body surrendered to exhaustion and that was the end of those. Since then I have been having irregular contractions. Sometimes minutes apart, sometimes hours, mostly in my back. I put the doula and midwife on alert, so I am sure I will get a long restful night of sleep tonight. *sigh* I did get a good nap in this evening hoping to keep well rested in case it started again at dinner time, but nothing significant. My mom leaves in 5 days, please cross your fingers we can get something going before she leaves!

Check out the full article here: Home Sweet Home Birth

Home births are not just for granola loving Earth mamas. There are plenty of advantages to giving birth in the comforts of your own home. It may surprise you to know that approximately 75% of women worldwide choose a home birth as their delivery method of choice. That is except for here in the United States where, according to Ricki Lake’s documentary “The Business of Being Born,” hospital deliveries are encouraged over home births because they’re more advantageous to doctors and insurance companies rather than mother and child. But now, more and more expectant American mothers are doing the unexpected and choosing home births over hospital deliveries.

And then better yet, check out this Q&A about the safety and pros of homebirth: Homebirth: Making it Happen

If you have thought about delivering your baby at home, you probably have a lot of questions! Are you wondering what exactly a midwife is, and whether midwifery care is right for you? What about homebirth — is it safe? Is it legal? Is it what you want? This article, an excerpt from “Homebirth: Making it Happen,” will help you find answers to these questions — and more.

Christopher has had three days worth of enrollment and testing for the charter school he is on the waiting list for. I was hoping that would prompt Sophie to make an appearance since babies are so anti-schedule, but she decided to be a good little sister and let him finish, darn it!

I just got home from a 90 minute prenatal massage. O.M.G. Was heavenly!! For good measure I made sure to hit every bump and pothole on the way home. I am contracting a bit, but what else is new. LOL I finally feel at peace with the world though, I hope this does not wear off anytime soon, I am loving this pregnancy zen.

My husband came home this morning to take care of some stuff he needed to do for work. He ended up making me a nice brunch of eggs and sausage. YUM!

My cats have lost their minds, I think they have all decided to put their differences aside so they can keep me under 24/7 surveillance. I cannot leave a room without at least 2 of the 3 furry beasties following me.

Rest assured, when Sophia arrives, I will let everyone know, I promise I will. Well, more thank likely you will get a phone call, text message or email from Bobby saying “she is here, mom and baby are resting, you will be updated later”.

I tend to bake my babies longer than the magical 40 week due date, so I am not particularly excited that I am due in a week, because, really, that just means it could still be another 2-3 weeks after that date before I have my little girl.

Yes, I feel huge, thanks for the reminder, it was not clear enough last night as I was trying to shave my legs that my belly prevents me from seeing any part of my body below my breasts, not without olympic type maneuvers of trying to flex my body in ways it is not meant to flex.

An yes, apparently I *AM* very bitchy… I think I have the right to be!

I came across the article from GMA about the Eggplant Parmigiana in Georgia and almost drug Bobby to Olive Garden to see if their recipe did the same, but then I noticed they made the recipe available to the general public! I figured, if anything the recipe looks like it tastes good, so what would it hurt to try it? So today we went to Safeway, picked up the ingredients and I slaved over a hot stove to make it.

OMG! Labor or no labor, this recipe is SO worth it!! It turned out perfect, there is no way it could have tasted any better. My husband and kids devoured it also. I would have made a few changes though: I would have started cooking earlier, this took a long time to make. I would have halved the recipe, it made two HUGE pans of food, enough for our large family to have it as three full meals (thank goodness Italian food makes the BEST leftovers and anything in red sauce usually tastes better the next day). I also would have skipped the rich bread I served with it (the frozen, pre-buttered, garlic toast) and opted for a plain white french bread.

If you are looking for a GREAT recipe, make sure you check out Scalini’s Eggplant Parmigiana recipe. The legend is pretty cool and I guess we will know soon enough if it works for me. Also, if this recipe is any indication of their other meals, and you are in the Smyrna or Marietta Georgia area, you should check out Scalini’s Italian Restaurant; let me know if it is any good!

I.AM.SO.DONE!

So, I had my 36 week appointment on Tuesday, all is well, I am measuring right on schedule. Sophia is head down in my pelvis with a good strong heartbeat and a stronger stubborn streak. Blood pressure was 112/68, so perfect. I still weigh less than pre-pregnancy by 5 lbs, which is right where my midwife is guessing Sophie’s weight… around 5 1/2 lbs. Next Tuesday I have my home visit, which I am really looking forward to.

However, today’s milestone of 37 weeks is exciting, because by all medical textbooks, today I am considered “term”, meaning if I have the baby today, she would not be considered premature… do I see her coming today, tomorrow, or even next week?? No, but hopefully soon, and definately in the next 6 weeks!

Lady #1

Matthew was whining because he was tired and not knowing he wanted a nap. She commented “Isn’t it funny how when we are little we cry because we don’t want a nap, but then when we grow up be cry because all we want is a nap??”

Lady #2

We will call her “The Mystic” (TM)

TM: (Looking at Austin and Chris) Are they twins?
Chris: Nope, we are 16 months apart.
TM: You must hear that a lot, are you older?
Chris: Nope, he is older, and he’s adopted.
Me: Christopher, you are oversharing! (Feeling mortified for poor Austin)
TM: Amazing how much alike they look!
Me: They are biologically half brothers, but legally full brothers, they look like their daddy. (Still reeling from Christopher’s oversharing, poor Austin looks like he is stuck between bored to tears and annoyed at the conversation).
TM: And when is the little girl due?
Me: (Realizing I never mentioned I am having a girl) Next month
TM: That is wonderful! Little girls….. (I start tuning it out, I have heard it all before)
Me: Yup, we are excited, we were not trying for a specific gender because we knew we would love either one equally.
TM: What hospital are you delivering at?
Me: Oh, I am having her at home (waiting for the look of mortification I hear everyone gets in my family when they tell people I am having a home birth)
TM: Oh! That is wonderful! I had my son at home, we lived in Japan where my husband was stationed at it was the most wonderful experience!
Me: That is great, I read that 70% of women in Japan have their babies at home and they have better outcomes than here in the US.
TM: So you found a good midwife?
Me: Yes, she’s very experienced.
TM: That is wonderful, I wish all women would have their babies at home.
Lady #1 (L1): I had three of mine at home, I agree, all women should have their babies at home. In fact my friend has 6 kids and she had all hers at home too, but the last three she delivered without an attendant!
TM: Hospitals are for the sick and high risk. I hope you have a wonderful delivery.
L1: I agree, blessed birth to you!

As I leave about 3 other ladies and a man in line are all smiling some tell me congratulations, some tell me I have a beautiful family, some tell me good luck.

It’s amazing how one little old lady who just assumed I was having a little girl was able to start a conversation that transfixed an entire line for the post office.

I cried to Bobby last night, I feel so done. I am so ready to have my sweet little baby now, but of course I know she is not done cooking yet and I don’t want her to come out before she is ready. However I wish I could fast forward to my birthing day so we can both be ready and I can skip over the next X weeks of wishing it was time now.

I do need to work on increasing my protein intake and increase the number of snacks I eat. I also checked out two videos from her birth library, one a documentary I was wanting to see, another which she said would be a great video to show the boys to make sure they are comfortable with birth. Bobby and I told the boys last night about the homebirth, and the expectations of being here (that they will have to get their own meals, entertain themselves, help with Matthew, and that we will not be giving them permission for anything, so they need to make their own judgment calls, since normally they ask before going outside or turning on video games). We also let them know our stances on them being in the room for the birth, I told them I ONLY want them there if they feel 100% comfortable since you cannot “un-see” birth and I do not want them to have any regrets. Bobby told them he did not want them there at all, but was willing to let them chose. We also told them we would not wake them, but that they are more than welcome to come in and see us after she is born if they are more comfortable waiting.

Both of my old OB offices still have not faxed her my records, even though I faxed them releases 2 weeks ago! They are supposed to have a 48h turn-around and I am getting irritated. She is going to call both of them today to remind them, but if they don’t fax them soon I am going to call and raise hell.