Mistakes in Motherhood

As in the speed that time passes in my pregnancy seems to be directly linked to the space, or distance, of my husband.

The first 20 weeks flew by, the last two weeks have drug. Can you guess how long he’s been home?

This will not be the case for the remainder of the pregnancy though, I know for sure of three weeks he will be gone coming up. Plus summer is starting to wrap up, school will start next month and all three of my boys are attending. One starting kindergarten, one starting middle school, and one starting high school. At least for a few months, it will just be me and little one until the end of winter break, then it will be me and the little one and the new baby!

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want him gone, I want the pregnancy to fly by as fast as it has been ALL the time.

No Comments | In: A lot about nothing | tags: Bobby, Pregnancy, School. | #

Matthew is starting to read. JUST starting. I took him to Barnes and Noble today so we can get some Bob books, they are like our generation of our parents Dick and Jane books (they still sell those by the way!). While I was there I also got him some Biscuit books, which are a little harder, but my older boys loved them. The entire time there I am talking to Matthew about what a big boy he is and that he is ready to start trying to read. We bought the books, he carried his little bag of books out to the curb and when I asked him to hold hands he tells me “I am a big boy now mama, I am going to be reading soon, so I am too big to hold hands”.

Silly boy.

No Comments | In: People, Places & Things | tags: Matthew, School, Silliness. | #

When Bobby went to Iraq, he had to put his degree on hold. That also means student loans that were on deferral until graduation, will soon be activated and moved into our debt snowball. I was so excited to be at 15% repaid, and now that I have added in this other debt, we are not only 10% repaid. This is very sad news to me. I was really hoping to pay off everything but the van before he returned from Iraq, but now it looks like we will still have the van and student loan debt.

Oh well, this only strengthens my resolve. What is another couple years of working hard to get debt free when the end result is the same. I am really hoping that when we sell the house we are able to make enough of a profit on it to pay down more debt, or at the very least not need to use the money we are saving for any shortcomings we will have at the time of sale.

We can do this. We will do this. We ARE doing this!!

1 Comment | In: Frugal, not cheap!, This is how I roll | tags: Bobby, Finances, School. | #

On Tuesday, my sweet baby Matthew turned FOUR! It is so hard to believe that he is already four, but on the same hand I can’t believe I have only known him four years because I just cannot imagine life without him, it seems like I have always known him. For his birthday dinner, he wanted to go to Olive Garden, which hit a sweet spot with me because that was the place I always went to for my own birthdays.

Sophie is sick with a fever and a cold. It started with a low grade fever on Tuesday and by Wednesday morning it was up to 103.5 and she had me up all night long. She is still a little warm today, but she does not seem so dependent on Motrin or Tylenol. I keep expecting to see teeth or chicken pox appearing, but so far neither one seems to be coming.

Matthew started preschool on Wednesday, so Sophie and I were able to rest while he was away. He goes 3 days a week for 6 hours a day and he LOVES it. I really struggled with the decision between a home daycare where they center around play-learning or an actual academic preschool. Both have up sides and down sides, but in the end I really liked the teacher, philosophy, price and convenience of the home based daycare near my home. He is only around two other kids who are 2 and 3 years younger than he is, but he does not seem to mind. I also like that he is exposed to less germs. I was hoping she would have another four-year-old or two, but he does not seem to mind at all.

Having only one child here for 18 hours a week clears up my schedule when Sophie naps to get much needed projects done. Part of my frustration was the clothing situation we are having. Matthew was pulling all his clothes out of his dressers to find one shirt, and when he and his brothers cleaned his room, those clean clothes ended up in the hampers and I had Mount Washmore climbing to scary heights. I felt overrun by laundry and was ready just to institute a burlap sack uniform policy. I decided the only reasonable thing to do was to move all his clothes into my room into Bobby’s dresser. However then I had to decide what to do with Bobby’s clothes. I ended up hanging up all his clothing, to include his jeans. It was actually sadder than I thought. I felt like I was “moving on”, when in reality he is just overseas, not gone.

With Matthew’s dresser now empty, I decided to use if for Sophia’s clothing and then I moved all her diapers off the top of his dresser and into her old dresser. The room looks a lot more orderly now. We will see in time how this arrangement works.

The older two kids have been busy this week with state standardized testing. Austin is done and Christopher has another week left, but I think they are both feeling pretty sick of those stupid tests.

I braved the post office this week when I mailed off a 17 lb box to Bobby, it took me 45 minutes of standing in line to get it mailed out, but I needed to take a helper and I knew that would mean going at a busy time of the day.

Today I am feeling like a drill sergeant, the kids have overrun the house with their toys and messes and enough was enough. It was time to take control of the situation and put them to work cleaning up toys, their bedrooms, and all their other little messes. I still have to go through the house and clean up all the little hot spots that they have gathered on tables and the kitchen could use a good scrub down. All the floors need attention from a vacuum or mop too.

Last night I had my first bad night since Bobby left. It was the first time I REALLY started missing him. I mean I miss him every day, but we also talk, email, and chat daily. It has been almost four days since we have talked, which is the longest we have gone without talking since he left in January for training or February to Iraq.

Matthew is also having a hard time, he went from only 2 or 3 accidents at night a month, or 4 or 5 or more accidents a night a week since he left. I forgot to bring it up with the doctor on Wednesday at his physical to rule out anything medical. I am also having other issues with Matthew and Christopher both that I won’t be bringing up on here to protect their privacy and keep from embarrassing them later in life.

I guess we all deal with changes differently, and we all have our good days and our bad days, all our trials and triumphs and in the end we will find our own ways to work through it all and be stronger for it.

4 Comments | In: People, Places & Things | tags: Austin, Bobby, Christopher, Domestic Diva, Family, Health, Insanity, Matthew, Me, Milestones, Parenting, Ramblings, Ranting, School, Sleep Deprivation, Sophia, Updates. | #

Austin had an altercation at school today. From what I understand, some kids accidentally pushed him up against a stall in the bathroom, the kid inside freaked out on Austin and pulled him under the stall, another kid tried to pull him back out. Austin got mad and threw his shoe at the boy and the boy tossed his shoe in the toilet.

The kids’ mom was FURIOUS at her son, I have no doubt that this will be dealt with at home. He was also suspended and will have to write an apology letter to Austin and to Bobby and I. I feel so much more confident about how this school is handling this problem, and how well the parents are cooperating.

1 Comment | In: People, Places & Things | tags: Austin, School. | #

I will call it “Drop off your damn kid like you have a brain, 101″.

Austin goes to a charter school, it is an amazing school, it is free, but it comes with a price. The price is that it is a commuter school and most parents must drop off and pick up their kids. I think there is something about this parking lot that turns normal people into complete idiots. The school parking lot is designed very well, I think my 3 year old could figure out how to navigate it, however some parents seem to regress to the wisdom of a newborn babe as soon as they cross the thresh-hold.

The parking lot is laid out simply:
You enter, you pull into bay A or B depending on which one is empty, you pull your car up to the front of the line, you kick your kid out the door and leave.

Simple huh?

Yeah, one would think so but this is what I see on a daily basis:

• Bay A is full, Bay B is empty, and cars are backed up to point C so no one can get into bay B because heaven forbid we let our little prince or princess walk TWO full freaking car lengths more to get to school! Let everyone behind us be late, we MUST wait to get to Bay A!
• Kid sits in the front seat, backpack goes into the trunk, so in order to kick the kid out of the car, we must make a fiasco of kid out, unlock (or pop) trunk, rifle through the crap in the trunk to find book bag, binder, lunch pail, coat, etc. What happened to putting your coat on, your crap inside the backpack and put your junk on your lap or feet so mom or dad can pull up and you can move onto class.
• This is my favorite, I love it when mom makes a HUGE production of sending her baby off to school with multiple hugs and kisses and the line is backing up around the block. I feel like screaming “GET A ROOM!!” I can understand this if little Johnny is going off to kindergarten for the first time. But this is middle school! for shit’s sake people, your kid is TWELVE! You are humiliating your kid into lifetime therapy!
• I love it when cars stop directly in line with the door instead of proceeding down to the end of the line. This prevents about 6 more cars from entering the drop off line and slowing the whole process down.
• Same goes for the people who stop one or two car lengths between the car in front of them. We are not driving at highway speeds here, 15 second rule need not apply. Guess what, at ZERO miles per hour, you can be less than a foot from the car in front of you and STILL be able to stop in time!

I am sure more topics to my class will come up as time goes on. Props will include gestures and words not suitable for young children, so if you wish not to attend, pull into the first available bay (yes B is just as good as A) pull up all the way to the numbered line, kick the kid out of the door with no more than a wave or a “have a good day” and then GET OUT! If you do wish to attend, please arrive between 7:15-7:35, and behave like your IQ is the same number as the temperature is outside. This seminar is complimentary and includes a free birdie, multiple four letter words you may not have ever heard combined before, and if you are lucky I may just get out of my car and smack you upside the head!

Have a nice day!

8 Comments | In: This is how I roll | tags: Austin, Lame-o, Public Service Announcements, Ranting, School, Tirade, Vehicle(s). | #

Christopher is a smart cookie, I know that, but he is also a very trying child because he borderlines on obsessive, and is always spouting off useless facts. Remember Jerry Maguire? Did you know the human brain weighs 8 pounds?

Well, a few weeks back, Christopher’s teacher sent a permission slip to allow testing for the gifted program, of course we consented, but I expected similar results to last time he was testes… one very high score, and low scores in literature/composition. Today the results came back… 73rd percentile for verbal, which was not bad… but in quantitative and reasoning he scored 92nd and 91st respectively and has officially been identified as gifted and qualified to receive gifted services. HOLY SMOKES! I did not expect that! This makes me wonder how he did so poorly on the entrance test to the charter school we applied for (he did not get in), but then explains how his standardized testing (thanks NCLB*tongue in cheek*) was above average and advanced.

I am not sure yet how these results will affect his curriculum yet, but I will call in the morning and ask questions. I am now curious how these results compare to his last test.

3 Comments | In: Uncategorized | tags: Christopher, Family, School. | #

I am finally back from my 3 week long vacation in Spokane and I totally need a vacation! The short version

• 3 weeks away from home
• 4 kids- ages 12, 10, 3, and 1 month
• Just me, Bobby did not come
• 3400 miles driven total
• Four 12 hour days of driving

Every year I try to send Austin & Christopher to see my parents, either by flying them up to Washington alone, or by flying or driving with them. Last year we flew them up first, then Bobby, Matthew and I drove up together and then the five of us drove back together. The trip from Colorado to Washington is about 1200 miles each way.

This year Bobby did not have enough vacation time and it was even more important for me to go because my dad is having some health issues and because I wanted my family to meet Sophia. I knew it would not be easy to drive that far with a 4 week old and a 3 year old, but they were actually very good. My van has a DVD player in the back and all the jacks necessary to hook up a game system, so the three boys brought their Gamecube and kept themselves entertained while the baby slept through most of the drive. We made a point to stop once or twice a day at parks along the way to get the kids out of the car. In Billings the hotel we stayed at had a pool with a water slide and the five of us unwound in the pool, which was heavenly after the long drive.

My dad looked amazing, we don’t know what is causing his health problems, but he has to be on oxygen and we are all pretty bummed about that because my dad leads such an active lifestyle and the oxygen pretty much keeps him tied down. My dad is a non-smoker, and the doctors had no answers to why he is having breathing problems, despite spending a week in the ICU.

While we were there we visited with Bobby’s nieces and nephew who we met last year for the first time. To make a long story short, Bobby and his brother had a falling out. We have always liked ex-SIL, but lost contact with her when we moved away. I met her back in 1997 when she introduced us to her oldest daughter, R., despite her husband’s (Bobby’s brother) wishes. I found BIL on myspace, contacted his girlfriend who gave me his ex-wife’s number, and we have been in frequent contact since.

Here is a picture of her youngest daughter with my youngest daughter. Click to see a larger image.

And here is a picture of her three and my four.

From Left to right is Austin -12, B. – 9, and Matthew – 3
Christopher – 10, A. – 6, R. – 11, and Sophie – 5 weeks.

In addition to spending time with my parents and his family, we also got to go to Faragut National Park in Idaho for a family reunion. My mom and her sisters and their families get together once a year for a long weekend campout. Since my dad could not stay the night and I did not want to camp with a baby, we drove back and forth each day (1 hour drive each way). My sister kept Austin and Christopher with her so they were able to stay the night. Matthew loved playing in the dirt as you can see.

It was so nice to spend the weekend with my sisters, Aunts and uncles, cousins, and all their kids. My oldest sister made me the nicest gifts ever, she is so talented. She scrapbooked a little brag book, and hand painted Sophia’s name on wooden letters, she also got her the most darling little outfit. All three were in Sophie’s colors, pink and brown, which I did not know were also my sister’s colors. I need to take and share some pictures, the scrapbook has got to be about the most gorgeous thing I have ever seen, I wish I had an ounce of her talent.

We also spent a lot of time up at their cabin in Priest Lake Idaho. The older boys stayed a little over a week up there with my parents, where the little ones and I drove back and forth a couple times (2 hour drive) since the cabin is unsafe with exposed electrical and a loft without rails. They are building it themselves, so they are waiting for inspections and such, and with my dad’s health issues, they did not expect the process to take so long. Since they are only a couple miles from the lake, we spent almost all our time at the lake. Click on the pictures below to see larger images.

Time flew by so fast, I only got to spend a couple hours with my best friend of 28 years, and my best friend of 14 years.

My mom started the potty for penny campaign with Matthew, and now he is almost potty trained, I am so proud! He is now peeing in the potty with maybe one or two accidents a day, and rarely needs reminding. Even more shocking is that he is pooping in the potty, something we could not get him to do when we almost had him trained a few months ago!

Leaving was bittersweet, I was so homesick and missed Bobby so much, but I did not want to leave either. I had such a wonderful time with my parents, and the boys were ready to leave me forever and live with their grandparents forever. My 11 year anniversary is tomorrow, and school starts in 2 weeks, so it was necessary to return. On the drive home, I did get some amazing pictures of Sophie, you can’t tell in the pictures, but her eyes almost looked violet in the light.

She was so good in the car, she only cried when she wanted to nurse. The rest of the time she either slept or just looked around contently, or smiling at her brothers.

4 Comments | In: People, Places & Things | tags: Austin, Auto Stuff, Bobby, Christopher, Family, Friends, Health, Holidays, Insanity, Marriage, Matthew, Me, School, Sophia, Vacations, Vehicle(s). | #

My children have entitlement issues. They made a list of summer activities and on the list was visiting expensive arcades and Six Flags this summer. Ha! I told them summer is for riding bikes and playing outside.

Christopher has had three days worth of enrollment and testing for the charter school he is on the waiting list for. I was hoping that would prompt Sophie to make an appearance since babies are so anti-schedule, but she decided to be a good little sister and let him finish, darn it!

I just got home from a 90 minute prenatal massage. O.M.G. Was heavenly!! For good measure I made sure to hit every bump and pothole on the way home. I am contracting a bit, but what else is new. LOL I finally feel at peace with the world though, I hope this does not wear off anytime soon, I am loving this pregnancy zen.

My husband came home this morning to take care of some stuff he needed to do for work. He ended up making me a nice brunch of eggs and sausage. YUM!

My cats have lost their minds, I think they have all decided to put their differences aside so they can keep me under 24/7 surveillance. I cannot leave a room without at least 2 of the 3 furry beasties following me.

No Comments | In: People, Places & Things | tags: Austin, Bobby, Christopher, Family, Matthew, Me, Pregnancy, Ramblings, School, Sophia, Updates. | #

YAY! The kids are out for the summer, no more worries about getting them to and from school or not being able to give Matthew a nap at 1:30 because I have to leave in 90 minutes to get Austin.

Both boys made honor roll, way to go guys!!

Speaking of school…. BOBBY will have his associates degree next week!! I AM SO PROUD OF YOU HONEY!!

No Comments | In: Uncategorized | tags: Austin, Bobby, Christopher, School. | #