Mistakes in Motherhood

Matthew is quite the little smart mouth. Tonight he was being a pain and being naughty, so I sent him to bed 30 minutes early. He stormed up to his room, very angry at me; I could hear his toys being flung and him storming around up there. I planned on letting him blow off some steam, and then go up there to talk to him and then hug and kiss him goodnight and talk to him about his behavior.

While he was cooling down, Austin went upstairs to get some pajamas for Sophie out of Matthew’s room, and I hear them arguing and then I hear Matthew say “IF YOU TELL HER, I WILL KICK YOU!!!” Austin came running downstairs with a silly smile on his face and explained that he needed to tell me what Matthew said. I guess in a fit of rage, my darling sweet son turned into some sort of monster when he told Austin angrily “Next time I see Mommy with a knife, I am going to tell her I hope she cuts her head off!”

The problem with this statement, is that it would be nearly impossible for me to keep a straight face when confronting him about it. After having a giggle and updating my Facebook page, I called my parents to take turns telling them one of my near-famous “Matthew Stories”. They also had a giggle and then I mustered as much composure as I could and “angrily” marched upstairs.

Matthew was very remorseful and said he let some angry words come out and that he was very sad about what he said. He claimed he tried to say “next time I see mommy with a knife, I am going to tell her I hope she cuts some vegetables“, but the other words just slipped out. This is where I had to turn my head and hold my breath to keep from cracking up. He apologized freely and we talked about how it was not okay to be naughty like he had been when I sent him to bed early, and that he needs to try not to have angry words, because once the words are out they cannot go back and can hurt someone’s feelings. I gave him a hug and a kiss goodnight, and surprisingly enough he went to bed fairly easily. I have a feeling he was tired in the first place, causing the naughty behavior in the first place that led to angry words. Having a four year old is an adventure.

No Comments | In: People, Places & Things | tags: Family, Humor, Matthew, Parenting, Silliness, Sons. | #

A Thank-You letter to Cindy from Cindysporch.net

Dear Cindy,
I want to thank you for your email thread with the subject line “Spring Cleaning Challenge #3: The Kid’s Rooms”. You sufficiently helped me traumatize my children for life, and almost made my 12 year old son cry.

Let me back up a bit… I am a mother of four, two preteens, a preschooler, and a prima donna, I mean a baby. My sons are 12, 11, and 4, and my daughter is 9 months old. I also have three cats, and two dogs who are over 85 lbs. Things got even crazier this February when my husband left for a year in Iraq as a military contractor. I would like to say my house normally just looks “lived in”, but truth be told there are times when it looks like World War III was just fought and a nuclear disaster was contained in my 1800 square foot home.

Your email could not have been read at a better time. Today we had a surprise blizzard here in Colorado, and because it is spring break, I have been hearing how bored my children are, or have had to pull them out of their Gameboys just to get them to clear their dishes from the table. What a brilliant day to play the “Clean your room or mom will kill you” game!! So I excitedly posted the link to the the spreadsheet in my Facebook status and printed out a copy. My four year old took quite a delight in running up to the printer to grab the game sheet and I handed them to my oldest son. His displeasure was easy to read; his face was red, his answers were curt and he looked like he could start crying at any minute.

To prove to him what a wuss he was being, I printed out a second sheet and told him I was going to do the same to my room. I even took the four year old up to “help” me and instructed the 11 year old that if he stopped working that he would would be grounded until the end of time.

Truth be told, the four year old was a lot of help. He made an awesome little “gofer” and had no problems fitting under the bed to push out CDs and books that found themselves held hostage under the bed by rogue dust bunnies. The children needed no prompting to get back to work or stay busy. They did need some reminding that Yu-Gi-Oh cards do not belong under dressers and that “clean dresser tops” does not mean to pile the junk right back on them as soon as you have dusted the tops off, however I think they earned an A-!

I soon found the cleaning was contagious though, because soon it spread and I found myself “accidentally” cleaning my bathroom mirror, which was not part of your list. The virus kept mutating and soon I was accidentally putting away pill bottles and mouthwash, tooth paste and mousse. Hair clips and nail clippers soon seemed to crawl into their drawers to escape the wrath. Next thing I know I am thinking how wonderful my cucumber melon all purpose would make the room smell and the counter, sink and toilet soon sparkled.

Before I knew it, my cluttered bedroom soon resembled a spa-like sanctuary. I now have a peaceful place to retreat to at the end of the day, and won’t have to worry about books and CDs crawling out from under the bed while I am sleeping and tying me up like in Gulliver’s Travels.

THANK YOU for giving me my sanity back and helping me to find a small slice of peace again. I LOVE my gorgeous bedroom and bathroom, I am really hoping having my rooms clean will inspire me to break out the gallons of paint I have had sitting out in the garage for weeks now and finish my redecoration project I have been putting off since I bought this house back in 2004.

Heather

1 Comment | In: People, Places & Things, This is how I roll | tags: Add new tag, Austin, Christopher, Domestic Diva, Family, Fur Babies/Pets, House Stuff, Matthew, Me, Parenting, Sons, Sophia. | #

Those who are on my facebook have heard this story… and they may see it again when this feeds to my page, but here is the full story in full. My day started off a little rocky this morning (as demonstrated by my earlier rant), but this morning when I went downstairs to start some laundry I BLEW my stack.

See, Austin and Chris, who are almost 13 and 11, have chores. Their main chore is to feed the animals, but they are also required to help me with laundry and dishes. Most days, the most I will ask them to do is start a load before school, and fold it and put it away after school. I also am very strict about sorting (darks, whites, and reds) and I wash everything on cold, except whites. This weekend, with me being busy getting Bobby ready, I asked them to do the laundry, and did not have time to help; so I was planning on catching up this morning.

When I came downstairs, it was utter chaos. Mount washmore was overflowing. The three hampers were packed with a mixture of all colors and stacked up to twice their height… there were no less than 4 baskets with wet or damp clothing, all of which stunk like mildew and cat pee. My dryer was empty, my washer was full of stinky clothes, and all my light colored and white clothes had been bled on by the dark clothes. I easily had 10 loads (and I am talking HE/front loader loads, not top loader loads). I think they were just starting the washer, but then never putting the clothes in the dryer. I also had about a foot of wet clothes piled in front of the washer.

More than an hour later, but less than two hours later I finally had all the clothes sorted, a load in the dryer, another in the washer, and I am having to use double the soap, bac-out & vinegar in each and every load, with bleach in my light towels/rags & my 100% cotton whites. I have washed, 6 loads of laundry already today, and I still have about four left. I tossed all of Austin & Christopher’s dirty clothes back in their room, I was too mad to wash it… but here is the stunning part of it… Bobby has been gone 3 weeks, I wear my jeans twice before I put them in the dirty clothes, but we had 10 loads of clothes to their 1…. so it looks to me like the kids are picking out their own clothes and only washing it.

Needless to say, I was either going to send them to boot camp or shake them up a bit, so I went on strike. I told them they are on their own for everything I did for them in the past. They have to cook their own meals, wash their own dishes, wash their own laundry, etc. If they want to use my stove or my washer or dishes, they need to “pay” for it, not with money, but with “hassle time chores” as my sister calls them. Basically if I have to do your work, you better do something for me. So they got to clean Matthew’s room, tidy the house, hand wash pots & pans, etc.

Tonight for dinner they made themselves baked potatoes and leftover stew, and I ordered a pizza for Matthew and I. I am really hoping that they get how much I do for them soon. I don’t like them being in trouble, but I just cannot carry the weight of doing absolutely everything in this house. I can’t spread myself four ways picking up every crumb they drop, and expect to have time to do the important things like help with homework, take them to the park to play, have family game nights, etc.

I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, I have only about 2 1/2 loads of laundry to start, one of which is my bed sheets, which I am dreading. They smell like Bobby, and I just cannot fathom washing his scent out of our bed. I have not cried about him leaving, but just the idea of washing our sheets makes my eyes well up with tears.

Oh, and as a cherry on top. Both kids have detention this week! Austin for being late to a bunch of classes “due to GI issues”, which sounds hokey to me. And Christopher because he “got a 4 out of 14 on an assignment”, which sounds even hokier to me. I think I have a couple phone calls to make tomorrow.

2 Comments | In: People, Places & Things, This is how I roll | tags: Austin, Bobby, Christopher, Domestic Diva, Family, House Stuff, Insanity, Me, Parenting, Ranting, Sons, Tirade. | #

The other day I first heard the term “Free Range Kids“, and when I started reading more about what raising a free range child is about, the more I got it. DH and I always joke how different things were when we were children. His mom used to send him a few blocks away to play in the 3rd largest river in the US (Columbia River) where he and his buddies would shoot at each other with their BB guns (no one shot their eye out), or rode bikes down hills too steep for cars to drive up in the winter with a friend on the handlebar.

We have friends whose 10 year old has never ridden a bike out of fear. In my hometown Tag has been prohibited at the school, all because of fear of safety for the kids. Puh-lease! What ever happened to kids learning natural consequences? Why do they need full body armor to go out and play in the back yard (heaven forbid they set foot in the front yard without at least two, armed, secret service agents). Heck, when I was a kid, my parents would not even know if I had been abducted until at least 20 minutes after the street lights went on. And what the hell is up with ‘play dates’?? Are parents now days so over scheduled that they have to pencil in little Johnny’s play time between pee-wee soccer and his gymnastics class? That is what I love about this neighborhood, if a child wants to play with my kids… they knock on the door and ask if they can come out and play…. get this, WITHOUT their parents hovering behind them making sure their 10 year old can walk a block away without being stolen.

Now I am not saying we should air drop our children over a South American jungle with two quarters and a rubber band and expect them to MacGyver their way home, but seriously, don’t you think our kids should get to share memories of skinned knees, chasing the ice cream truck, drinking from the hose, building forts in the woods, walking to the supermarket with a dollar to buy candy or soda, climbing trees, skipping rocks and wading in the creek, and snowball fights?

Now I am not criticizing anyone else, you parent your child the way you see fit, but I found letting go works for us, as long as my child shows they are mature and capable of making reasonable decisions. At the park, I have no problem watching Austin climbing a tree 10 feet in the air, or walking to the convenience store to buy treats for his brothers. When I was in labor with Sophie, I mentioned Christopher broke his arm on his scooter. He was so proud of his injury, just like he is of his appendectomy scar. When Matthew falls down we tell him to “get up and do it again”. We still kiss his owies when he hurts himself, but we don’t act like the world is going to end if he draws blood when he falls down.

Someday, I hope my kids can look back and tell their own kids how much fun they had when they were kids, and all the risks they took and adventures they created.

1 Comment | In: This is how I roll | tags: Austin, Bobby, Christopher, Confessions, Controversey, Family, Matthew, Me, Memories, Sons. | #

Miss Sophie got to wear the onsie that was passed from Christopher to Matthew to her. This was the very first baby gift I received and [start geekyness] it was given to me by the Sysop of the BBS I had been a member of for 3? 4? maybe even 5? years of my life at that time. [/end geekyness]

Sophie was called a boy at Best Buy today… I told myself after 3 boys, if I ever had a daughter she would never leave doubt in anyone’s mind as to her gender. Oops!

This morning, Sabin was a furry door mat, this is how I found him when I opened my bedroom door:

When I got up, my house was 78 degrees! Why? Because Matthew decided to turn the thermostat up and then move the button over to heat! HOLY HECK it was hot! I think he was trying to prepare my friend Julia for 100 degree heat for her trip back home to Vegas. We were very sad to see her go.

No Comments | In: People, Places & Things | tags: A lot about nothing, Christopher, Fur Babies/Pets, House Stuff, Insanity, Lame-o, Matthew, Me, Memories, Photography, Sons, Sophia, Technology. | #

*Disclaimer* This is going to a mushy mom-brag post because I am so dang proud of my child. Read on only if you you don’t have diabetes, this is likely to be sugar-filled.

Yesterday afternoon around 3:30 I got a phone call from Austin’s school saying he would be getting an award at an assembly the next day at 1 and said they would love for me to attend. I asked Bobby to take a long lunch so he could come with me, but he opted to work a half day instead. So we get to the gym today at 1 and the very first name called is Austin, for an award for best in his class for fine arts. Nifty. They then proceed to call out names of other students broken down in 4 categories for each subject…. “Outstanding Student Award – Boys”, “Outstanding Student Award – Girls”, “Most improved – Boys”, and finally “Most improved – Girls”. They did all the subjects for 6th grade, and then 7th grade.

At the end of the ceremony, the Dean of Students said he had a surprise for the students. He went on to say that he got some extra grant money and decided that he wanted to award one student from each grade for overall excellence. Someone who maintained great grades, attitude, attendance, and went above and beyond as a citizen of the school.

He then went on to say that the first student awarded has demonstrated excellence in many ways, not only by being a friend to all in his grade, but by being cheerful and courteous at all times. He is the student who at the dances stands in the middle of the gym and rocks out the his air guitar all by himself without a care in the world. The student who demonstrates honesty by returning the snacks to the Dean when the machine accidentally gives him two because he “only paid for one”, the student who is always asking if there is something he can do to help his teachers, his peers, and the Dean.

Bobby and I looked at each other because that kid sounded a LOT like our goofy, care-free, honest little guy, but at the same time there are a LOT of great 6th graders at his school. The Dean went on to say that he could not imagine a more deserving student than Austin to receive the award!

You should have seen my little guy, he was SO proud of himself and his classmates were all so excited! His teacher and I were bawling our eyes out and Bobby stood up to grant his permission for Austin to receive the iPod (since the school will not give a student big ticket items without the parents permission). Since it was so close to the end of the day, the teacher told us to go ahead and take him home with us, and on the way to the car Austin says “You know, my iPod I just bought with my birthday money has a 30 day return policy!” LOL So we went home to get the reciept and took him Best Buy to exchange his iPod for something else. He picked up Guitar Hero III (a game where you play songs on the XBox on a life-sized wireless guitar), he then also got two games for the Wii, Super Smash Brother’s Brawl, and Sonic vs. Mario Olympics, as well as an iTunes gift card.

Right now the three little boys are playing the Smash Brother’s game, even though Matthew has NO clue what he is doing, his brothers keep praising him for doing well.

In other news, Austin and I went back to the Humane Society, and still no Sabin. On the way home we picked up some neon paper to print out some missing signs to hang around the neighborhood. Hope fully we find him soon.

4 Comments | In: Uncategorized | tags: Austin, Fur Babies/Pets, Parenting, School, Something Worth Mentioning, Sons. | #

Tomorrow I will be 38 weeks pregnant. Wow. I have 15 more days until my due date, which means I *should* have my baby in my arms within the next 29 days. Hopefully sooner than later, come on out little lady, mama wants to meet you! I am so crampy.

Sabin is still missing, we are now on day 5. I have filed a report with the humane society (and looked at all the kitties to see if he was there), contacted the company he is microchipped through. Talked to neighbors, call for him daily, Bobby walks the block with a flashlight each night after sunset. I set out some smelly food, but a neighbor kitty ate it all up. Now we just wait, and hope, that he finds his way home soon.

I had my home visit with my midwife on Tuesday, all is well and she seemed to get along well with Bobby. She told me that they way I was coughing, she could tell I did not read the manual that states I am not allowed to get sick at the end of pregnancy. LOL I am feeling a little better today, so hopefully I am not coughing when I am pushing.

The older boys only have a week left of school before summer vacation, I am really looking forward to having them home to help. Usually I dread it because they get *so bored*, but they are older and more mature and are SO helpful around the house.

My mom is coming to visit in 2 1/2 weeks, I am so excited to see her, it has been 3 years since her last visit at my house. Normally we all drive up to visit her since all my family is up north and I can visit everyone.

Bobby’s boss is coming next week to visit him from Texas. I told him I will try to wait until after his boss leaves and after the kids are out of school to have this little one, which is May 23rd, but realistically, this will probably be a June baby. I am just hoping she decides to come sooner than later so Grandma can meet her.

No Comments | In: A lot about nothing | tags: A lot about nothing, Austin, Bobby, Christopher, Family, Fur Babies/Pets, Health, Matthew, Me, School, Sons, Sophia, Updates. | #

After picking up Austin from school, I took the boys to the post office so they can mail off their hair to Locks of Love and while we are there we got several cute comments from strangers.

Lady #1

Matthew was whining because he was tired and not knowing he wanted a nap. She commented “Isn’t it funny how when we are little we cry because we don’t want a nap, but then when we grow up be cry because all we want is a nap??”

Lady #2

We will call her “The Mystic” (TM)

TM: (Looking at Austin and Chris) Are they twins?
Chris: Nope, we are 16 months apart.
TM: You must hear that a lot, are you older?
Chris: Nope, he is older, and he’s adopted.
Me: Christopher, you are oversharing! (Feeling mortified for poor Austin)
TM: Amazing how much alike they look!
Me: They are biologically half brothers, but legally full brothers, they look like their daddy. (Still reeling from Christopher’s oversharing, poor Austin looks like he is stuck between bored to tears and annoyed at the conversation).
TM: And when is the little girl due?
Me: (Realizing I never mentioned I am having a girl) Next month
TM: That is wonderful! Little girls….. (I start tuning it out, I have heard it all before)
Me: Yup, we are excited, we were not trying for a specific gender because we knew we would love either one equally.
TM: What hospital are you delivering at?
Me: Oh, I am having her at home (waiting for the look of mortification I hear everyone gets in my family when they tell people I am having a home birth)
TM: Oh! That is wonderful! I had my son at home, we lived in Japan where my husband was stationed at it was the most wonderful experience!
Me: That is great, I read that 70% of women in Japan have their babies at home and they have better outcomes than here in the US.
TM: So you found a good midwife?
Me: Yes, she’s very experienced.
TM: That is wonderful, I wish all women would have their babies at home.
Lady #1 (L1): I had three of mine at home, I agree, all women should have their babies at home. In fact my friend has 6 kids and she had all hers at home too, but the last three she delivered without an attendant!
TM: Hospitals are for the sick and high risk. I hope you have a wonderful delivery.
L1: I agree, blessed birth to you!

As I leave about 3 other ladies and a man in line are all smiling some tell me congratulations, some tell me I have a beautiful family, some tell me good luck.

It’s amazing how one little old lady who just assumed I was having a little girl was able to start a conversation that transfixed an entire line for the post office.

2 Comments | In: Uncategorized | tags: Austin, Christopher, Family, Humor, Matthew, Me, Pregnancy, Sons, Sophia. | #

Austin and Christopher decided back in 2005 that they would like to start growing out their hair, like their dad had his when he was a teen. The glamor of long hair wore out last year when they started getting teased at school, but Austin said he would like to let it grow out long enough to be donated to the charity “Locks of Love”

Here is a before picture of my little boys:

Christopher with his hair all up in pig-tails before the big snip:

Austin, minus the long pigtails, but before the real hair cut:

The three boys after their hair cuts:

Monday after school we will hit the post office to mail their hair, the boys are loving their short new cuts and look forward to seeing the reaction they receive on Monday at school. I am so proud of my sons, they have put so much into this and taken a lot of crap because of it, but they feel it is worth it and have no regrets.

PS. To see the full photostream, make sure to visit the entire set on Flickr.

14 Comments | In: Uncategorized | tags: Austin, Bobby, Christopher, Family, Matthew, Newsworthy, Public Service Announcements, Sons, Updates. | #

Austin and Christopher got grades this week, not only were we impressed with the actual grades, but more impressive was the improvement between 1st semester and 2nd semester.

Austin made the Dean’s List!! YAY AUSTIN!!!

He had 6 A’s and 3 B’s, up from 3 A’s, 2 B’s and 2 C’s.

Not sure if Christopher made honor roll yet, but he had 7 A’s, 1 B and 1 C, up from 5 A’s, 2 B’s, 2 C’s and a D.

Looks like we get to take BOTH kids out for a celebration this time, I am so proud of them! I am not sure I can pass the pride they are feeling for themselves though, good job boys!!

No Comments | In: Uncategorized | tags: Austin, Christopher, Family, Parenting, School, Sons. | #