Mistakes in Motherhood

Thanks to the “wonder drug” making me so sick, I have yet to have a full night’s sleep. The first night I was puking, the second night I kept waking from crazy dreams (the kind you get when you are sick), and last night I was in so much pain that not even the hot bath could relax me enough to get more than a couple hours of sleep. Everything from my waist up (to include wrists and thumbs) hurt so bad that breathing is almost unbearable. Even sleeping upright did not help.

My only solace is that DH is taking our oldest to school, so I don’t have to get out of my pajamas. I need whatever comfort I can get so not dragging out the two year old, scraping frost off my windshield to drive him to school is the best thing I could have asked for.

Don’t get me started on the middle son though…. the boy is on my last nerve. I have been wondering how it takes my oldest two boys to get ready to school when the oldest has 1 1/2 – 2 hours to get ready for school, and the middle child has 2 hours to get ready. Yes, they have chores in the morning (make sure the dishwasher is loaded, should have been done after dinner so that is a cinch, get the clothes out of the dryer and start a new load in the wash, pick up your messes, and get yourself showered, dressed, eat breakfast, brush your hair & teeth). NOTHING that should take more than an hour. Apparently my middle son thinks it should take 45 minutes to be dressed up to his underwear. When I finally gave up trying to sleep, and got up because I was sick of hearing him yell through the house, I got up to find he had showered for 15 minutes (no biggie) and then done nothing but stand around in nothing more than his underwear for the next 30 minutes. I am not sure how I can get that boy motivated without breathing down his neck for 2 hours each morning, which just is not feasible with my lack of sleep lately.

On a better and brighter note, I am 12 weeks today! The baby is starting to look more human, and I am *supposed* to start feeling more human soon, but I will just watch and wait to see if my morning sickness gets the hint that it is time to hit the road. I am going to go out on a limb here and say either I am carrying a girl (since I have 2x as much morning sickness than I did my other two pregnancies combined) OR this is another baby boy trying to guarantee he is last baby we have (which was always the plan anyways). Either way, I will be happy, as I truly just want a healthy baby. Don’t tell Matthew this, as he insists this is his “baby sister”, he gets angry anytime I even suggest it could be a baby brother.

Please someone tell my 2 year old that mama REALLY needs him to take a nap today, so she can try to nap herself. This nap strike he is on is about to drive me batty!

No Comments | In: Uncategorized | tags: Austin, Bobby, Christopher, Family, Health, Matthew, Me, Milestones, Parenting, Pregnancy, Ramblings, Ranting, Sleep Deprivation, Tirade, Toddlers. | #

Nope, not morning sickness this time. The below pictures show what happens each time we leave Isis free in the house. This time I was taking a nap and did not know she got left inside and this is what I come downstairs to. I can’t even express into words how devastated I feel right now. DH is on his way home from work right now because he could hear it in my voice how upset I was.

She does this EACH and EVERY time she is alone. Be it when I am upstairs in bed, or when we are gone for 15 hours, or 15 minutes. Our solution was to keep her in the back yard with an invisible fence when we left (weather permitting) and it got turned off because she got stuck under the deck and before we could turn it back on she shredded the wires and now I will probably have to pay another couple hundred dollars I don’t have to repair it.

She has done this with homework, with Bobby’s $100 dress shoes (twice), with bills, with books, with toys, you name it. I am getting to the point where I am wanting to get her on an anti-anxiety medication like Prozac or Xanax for dogs. We tried crate training her, but that make her anxiety worse and she would have GI problems resulting in explosive diarrhea.

View of most of the mess.

Ongoing damage she has done to my floor rug.

Brand new yarn I was going to use to make something for the baby. Was white, now yellow with pee.

What was formerly known as my favorite shoes.

Christopher’s book he was reading for school, in part.

Matthew inspecting the damage.

Matthew laughing at the kitten.

I am off to google ideas on how to deal with separation anxiety, I am tired of dealing with all the damage!

2 Comments | In: Uncategorized | tags: Fur Babies/Pets, Photography, Ranting, Sleep Deprivation, Tirade. | #

The other day I was grocery shopping and I overheard a middle age woman comment to a young mother with a large family “you know what causes that, right?” I should have said something, I felt bad for the mom who seemed taken aback by the comment. I did not understand why the older woman felt like sticking her nose into the mother’s business.

All 5 of the young children were healthy, clean, well mannered and the mom, though still being frugal about it, made her purchases with cash, not WIC or a state issued food assistance card. I don’t think the mom had these children because she was too stupid for birth control, they seemed naturally spaced, the youngest child contently nursed from his mother’s breast while being worn in the sling… Oh my, nursing in PUBLIC?? What would the older woman say if she noticed that??

This got me thinking to inappropriate comments I have received, specifically referring to my three sons. I can’t tell you how many times I am asked if I plan on trying for a girl… when did boys become the consultation prize? Did G-d put a child into my womb and say “Sorry, you did not win the prize this time, but take what is behind door number two so you won’t be sent home empty handed”. My usual response is that if we decide to have another it will be to have another baby, not play Russian roulette and only want one specific gender. The most offensive was when I was pregnant, the cashier asked if I knew the gender of the baby (as she is scanning 100% blue clothes, blankets, etc) and when she heard it was another boy she looked at my other two sons and said “Are you guys sad you are having a brother? I mean sisters are so much better, wouldn’t you rather have a sister?” Yeah, because *I* was the one who chose their genders, but come on! My oldest son was hoping for a brother, but my middle son was licking his wounds from being wrong on his guess and at the time was hoping for a sister. Anyways, I digress.

When did society think that the store was an appropriate place to lecture someone about reproduction? Obviously the young mom had read page one of a parenting book if she knew her kids needed to eat. I know people who are not that sophisticated. Also, it is not like this mom was at the drive through window with grubby kids screaming for a soda pop and fried chicken nuggets. If the store was the place to lecture parents on birth control, wouldn’t you think Planned Parenthood would have rented a pagoda at the front of the store? Maybe the wife could look over to her husband and say “honey, can you go pick up paper towels, and while you are on isle 7 get that vasectomy we have been wanting?”

To the woman at the grocery store.. please save your breath, find another medium for your cause. Volunteer at the woman’s shelter, help families in crisis, send an article into the newspaper about the importance of reducing your carbon footprint, or help raise money for a family who has an ailing family member and needs money to pay for cancer treatment. I don’t believe you said what you did out of malice, but it was in bad taste and only served to annoy the mother and other patrons in the store. Cut the mother some slack, her 5 kids were so much better than a lot of families I see with only one child. If you want to see some bad kids, go shop at Walmart, you will be running for the pharmacy section and popping headache medicine faster than you can say “wear a condom”.

To everyone else, think twice before you make “harmless” comments to mothers, our hearts are fragile from countless sleepless nights, an infinite number of kissed boo-boos and “I love you’s”. We have to deal with our children’s tears of disappointment when they don’t get what they want, lose their best friend, break up with their first crush, and get teased by the neighborhood bully.

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Now playing: John Mayer – Dreaming with a Broken Heart
via FoxyTunes

2 Comments | In: This is how I roll | tags: A lot about nothing, Controversey, Family, Parenting, Public Service Announcements, Something Worth Mentioning, Tirade. | #

Disclaimer: This entry is rated PG-13.

I had today’s blog entry pre-written in my head, I was going to call it “Mommy’s Little Helper: A love story” and gush about my love of Starbucks Venti White Chocolate Mocha, or my lifeblood, and how even after only 4 1/2 hours of sleep I can accomplish so much before 9am and how much I had gotten done already…. then at 8:50am my good day went bad.

So when I look back it was not the best day, but with all the pitfalls I was still able to get the kids off to school without choking them, the car jumped which involved calling the dealership to find out how to override the shift lock and moving a dead car onto the street, still got Austin to school on time at 7:30, got $150 worth of groceries, got a roast & veggies into the slow cooker AND got myself a dentist appointment for today for the tooth I chipped on Saturday… and then with one simple phone call to DH the day changed and my good day turned bad.

Now I am not going to say my husband ruined my day, but that is because he reads my blog… but I think you can read between the lines. I guess the main issue I am having is getting the kids up at 6am just does not seem like early enough for them to get showered, dressed, get their chores done, breakfast eaten, hair & teeth brushed and out the door by 7:20 & 7:30. I am really debating whether or not I need to start getting them up at 5:30 which means either I need to get up at that time also, which is nearly impossible when I don’t get to sleep until after midnight, OR if I can trust them to get up on their own with an alarm clock, and get ready without waking up the whole house. Some mornings I want to duct tape the mouth of my 9 yr old shut because he fills the entire house with nonsense noise… throaty noises like “uh-uh-uh-uh” which serve the ONLY purpose of comforting him and annoying the shit out the other 4 members of the family.

So the car battery was dead this morning, either Austin or Bobby left a light on inside and the car would not start, nor go into neutral without being started. So I called the dealership who told me to look in my manual for how to override the steering lock, which was a delightful discovery that I hope we never have to use again. Backing the car into the driveway did not work, my cables were about 2″ to short, so we gave some lady a heart attack as we pushed it down the driveway thinking that we were going to have the brute strength to push the car uphill into her car and she gave us a friendly little honk while waving at us with a single finger, I was thrilled with her strong level of perception that roads are only made for one car at a time and choosing to get pissed instead of you know, going around and driving on the correct side of the road instead of the middle.

Ok, so whatever… I got the kids’ papers signed as I was trying to run out the door to get Austin to school in time after the whole fiasco. I hate it when teachers come into the house early Monday morning and sneak papers into backpacks instead of giving them to the kids on Friday, it makes Mondays so much more interesting I guess. By this time I am already losing my voice because the kids have been up over an hour and in that time have only managed to shower and dress. The animals are starved, they have not eaten, and the bathroom, the bedroom, and the kitchen looks like a hurricane swept through it. I swear, kids have the anti-midas touch and everything they touch turns to shit. Ok, maybe not that bad turns to dirty, wet, filthy garbage, that is nicer.

So I get Austin to school, I go to Safeway to get a much needed coffee & some milk and ended up with $150 worth of groceries and we will still not have anything to eat. When I got home I browned a roast, cut up potatoes and onion & tossed them all in a slow cooker with baby carrots, garlic, and seasonings and dinner is done. While unloading the rest of my groceries I put a call into the dentist and snag a same day appointment at 4pm to get a filling put in the molar I chipped this weekend when I bit on the barbell of my tongue piercing which keeps rubbing on my tongue and making it swell. I called DH and asked him if he could come home 30 minutes early because there is no way I can get Austin at 3:30, pick up Christopher from home, take them a sitter and be at the dentist’s office at 3:45. Well that was a no-go so I had to call and reschedule at their next available appointment 3 weeks from now… I must be the world biggest baby because after 3 days of this I am ready to just pull the damn tooth myself… but after three weeks I will be wanting to shoot myself, I cannot handle tooth pain!

Ok, so I am frustrated with the dentist and my husband and my child who has already had his third trip into time out for yelling at me, getting into the fridge and for not listening, and the tears are starting to flow. I toss the toddler into the highchair with a yogurt, drink my coffee and try to clean up my mess from making dinner. The trash of course is overflowing because that is my middle son’s chore (that is a rant for another blog entry… I got to clean underwear off my curb because apparently my MDS got lost in his 20 foot walk out to the trash can). I also busy myself with filling my in-sink soap dispenser with the dish soap I bought today because I ran out of the bulk soap 2 weeks ago and have just been using my little bottle. I guess in the two weeks it sat empty it broke because I can push the dispenser down, but it will not come back up… so I just wasted 1/4 a big bottle of Dawn into the empty abyss of brokenness. In the process of trying to fix it I overflow my sink with suds and I learn that we have no clean dishrags to clean up the huge mess with. I turn to grab a paper towel and knock the cutting board off my counter sending the 1/2 an onion I did not use flying through the air. I take another sip of coffee and clean up my mess.

Meanwhile the baby starts complaining that he is still hungry and asks for another yogurt. I offer a banana instead which he gladly accepted and I left the room to come in here and start writing. Next thing I know a yogurt covered baby had escaped from his highchair, abandon the uneaten banana and made his way to my couch leaving a trail of yogurt paw prints all over my kitchen table, cloth dining room chairs, walls, and my couch… as I jump up I knock over my cup and my coffee ends up on my carpet. I am SO ready to crawl back into bed and call it a day… the baby can pick up Austin from school at 3, I’ll leave the car keys on my desk within reach.

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Now playing: Ani DiFranco – 32 Flavors
via FoxyTunes

2 Comments | In: This is how I roll | tags: A lot about nothing, Austin, Auto Stuff, Bobby, Christopher, Family, House Stuff, Insanity, Matthew, Me, Ramblings, Ranting, School, Sleep Deprivation, Tirade. | #

This morning I was relaxing, reading, while I thought to myself how nice it was with the kids in school because the house is so nice and quiet. Then I paused… QUIET??!!?? Where is the baby and why is he quiet?

As I started walking through the kitchen, the smell hit me at once… Comet!

I walk slowly up the steps to catch the baby in the act and in my head I am hearing the sound effects from Jaws, ‘duh-duh, duh-duh’.

I can feel my blood pressure rising with each and every step, and I will share with the class why this is. Below are pictures of what I saw in sequential order:

First step.

Second step.

Top landing.

Top landing leading into the kids’ bathroom.

Hmmm, footprints of the guilty??

Bathroom & rug.

Wet comet.

Hmmm, could Matthew have done this? Does he look guilty and remorseful or what?

Matthew signing “sorry” while saying “sorry mama”.

So I could tell he felt bad, and I did not need to raise my voice, but I did tell him he was naughty and that the comet was a “no, no, no”, I still can’t figure out how he got to the Comet, but my instincts tell me Austin got it out and put it away under his sink instead of in the locked cupboard under the kitchen sink. I gave him the meanest punishment I could, I told him to sit down on his stool in his room while I vacuumed. The vacuum scares him more than anything else, so I shut the door to minimize the sound. Normally he runs and hides when I vacuum, or I do it when he’s sleeping, but today he got to hear it right outside of his bedroom. Five minutes later when I was done cleaning I went back in his room to check on him and he was still right where I left him.

I wish I could say he was better after this ordeal, but he was a pill when we went to go run errands, at lunch time, and at nap time, but he’s sleeping now so I KNOW where he is and as a bonus my house is quiet once again.

Oh, today I was at the post office mailing off a math textbook to a friend and when when they did the standard “anything perishable? Fragile? Hazardous?” I said “only if you consider math hazardous” and he said “I sure do, and I am sure your kids will agree with me!” LOL I love that post office, the one who handles my mail is full of people who are unkind and act like they hate their job. At least at this branch the workers are not afraid to joke, conversate, or be polite. If you have any doubts about what I mean when I say they are rude at my local branch, read this post from April.

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Now playing: Grateful Dead – The Golden Road (To Unlimited Devotion)
via FoxyTunes

3 Comments | In: Uncategorized | tags: Humor, Matthew, Parenting, Ranting, Tirade, Toddlers. | #

Ok, since I sold the kids out on their messy room, it is time for me to confess a mess of my own, it’s only fair.

We have a landscaping problem.

It all started out simply… in July ’04 we bought our first home. Our ‘yard’ had nothing but weeds that we thought we could tame. The flower bed had silk flowers that we figured we could replace with a lush oasis of wildflowers, and it has a sprinkler system, with a timer! Soon we learned some things that made our hearts sink.

• Our soil was made up primarily of sand, and we were lucky we could even get weeds to grow as ground cover.

• Plants take a long time to mature.

• Our sprinkler system was manufactured sometime before the birth of Christ, AND it was leaking.

From the time we purchased the home until last fall we tried everything from seeding and watering like crazy, planting a “tree” and shrubbery, to fertilizing, aerating, thatching, weed n’ feeding, using round up, tilling, to finally throwing up our hands in disgust.

For the last two weeks I have been calling landscapers and arranging estimates. We have interviewed four landscapers, have one more coming on Wednesday and have received one estimate back for the total of around five thousand dollars. Some have given us a time line of having the work completed in anywhere from 3 weeks from now, to three MONTHS from now.

So without further adieu, I give you all my Yard of Shame.

This is a view of my front yard from the street… this is what all my neighbors see, this is my “curb appeal”. Nice huh? Notice the lovely patches of dead grass. THAT is what type of grass grows when you don’t have good top soil.

This is my sweet little “overgrown weed” as my neighbors refer to it; we get a lot of razzing for this sweet little tree. My mother, who lives in Washington, has a yard full of trees that are probably all 15-20 years old. This little guy was a volunteer from her maple tree that she put in a pot and gave to me to take home. I drove this little tree 1400 miles home to Colorado and planted it with the help of Bobby. Bobby does not love it as much as I do, and he is not against ripping it out and putting a more mature tree in.

This picture shows you how tiny this tree really is in comparison to my neighbors trees. The sad thing is, the two neighbors on the same side of the street as us also have young trees. Theirs were the classic 1 1/2 inch diameter trees that one can usually find at a nursery, I expect our little maple to be the size of their trees in 3-5 more years.

This is my sad little flower bed. The saddest part is, you can barely see the difference between the Potentilla shrubs, and the tall weeds. However, the positive part of this picture is I have had the potentilla for 2-3 years and have not managed to kill it! This is impressive for me. Generations upon generations of talented gardening genes in my family, from my paternal and maternal sides, have all managed to skip over me. However, these messy little bushes are a vast improvement over silk flowers sticking out of bead-board.

This is my lovely sprinkler system (not the hose, though that would probably work better). It has a timer, but the previous owners said it did not work, and the timer is mounted in my basement behind my washer and dryer, so even if it DID work, we could not get to it. We also found out that the pipe broke sometime before we moved in and so we have been throwing money out the window each and every day as this thing leaks all over the place.

This is my backyard. It has no sprinkler system and no landscaping (unless you count weeds, overgrown ivy, holes from the dogs, or chewing damage from the dogs landscaping). The fence is thrice the age of the home and needs replaced badly, however we need to get our two neighbors to agree to do a couple things. The neighbor to the north of me would have to kill his ivy and replace his own fence that is putting weight on mine. Being he has 4-5x more fence than we do this is easier said than done. The neighbor to the west of me would have to replace a retaining wall that the previous owners of their house ripped out. The husband is deployed to Iraq and the wife barely speaks English so this is not happening either. Those two 2×4′s you see are from a windstorm we had that caused the fence to partially collapse since about a quarter of my support fence posts are rotted at the base and broken.

This is a view of the west part of our fence and most of our backyard. Those pieces of plywood are nailed to the fence to cover the holes my dogs are creating to assist the neighbor dog in her escape to my back yard. This is also where my yard is sinking into the neighbor’s yard, along with my support posts for my fence making it that much more unstable.

Anyways, if you wish to view the entire set of pictures, make sure to visit my Flickr set titled “Yard of Shame“. [Opens in a new window]

No Comments | In: Uncategorized | tags: Confessions, House Stuff, Tirade. | #

This mom has finally snapped. I went into the older two boys’ ‘clean’ room that they claimed they had just cleaned to put something away and could not fathom the amount of garbage I saw in their closet. Less than 2 weeks ago they had been told to clean their closet, so I know that had used that time to stuff more crap in their.

Here is a brief description of the items I saw in the closet that led up to my breakdown…. candy wrappers, school assignments, toothpaste sans lid, the remote control to my TV I have been looking for for months sans battery cover, my watch, a baby shoe, dirty underwear, my movies sans case, I think you get the point.

Rather than scream and yell and have the kids surface clean again without making a dent in the problem and having Austin do 10x the work of Christopher, I thought back to an article I had just read in Mothering Magazine about a mom who uses “fun ways” to motivate her kids and one of the games was “everything in the center of the room” where the mom and kids took everything that did not belong, move it to the center of the room and then put it away. Well, let me tell you… there was no singing or dancing and no kid cooperation moving stuff and no mom cooperation cleaning.

Without a word I started moving the bookshelf and using my euromop for the only thing it has ever been useful for…. raking crap. Next step was to take anything piled up on top of the dresser or sticking out of drawers to the growing heap I dubbed Mount Trashmore, next was the closet, where I keep plastic bins for every type of toy…. Lego’s, Cars, Action Figures, Science Toys, etc, and if the toys were not put away, they went in the pile… would you believe that 100% of everything in their closet was not put away right, or even CLOSE to it? (I am not talking a few Lego’s mixed in with action figures, I am talking a box designated for Action Figures with Lego’s, candy wrappers, dirty socks, broken toys, Pokemon cards, and scraps of paper with a lid on it and “put away”). Can you imagine the satisfaction of hearing thousands of Lego’s falling to the floor?? I could just feel my blood pressure dropping as each piece of trash was added to the pile.

I just wish I had taken some before pictures of their closet so you could see what I meant, but all that is included before are after pictures of what I did, as well as my little Shamelings as they hear the rules of the “game”. Here are the rules I laid forth… They have 48 hours until trash day…anything left in Mount Trashmore will make it to the curb. They will not sleep in their room until they can get to their bed, we have a very large front room and sleeping bags that will work nicely for a camp-out. Anything broken, or from a fast food restaurant goes into the garbage, anything they don’t play with gets packed up and donated, anything to be kept will be put in its designated basket. I will supervise the whole endeavor, I will not raise my voice, I will not punish, and I will not spank. Bathroom and drink/snack breaks will be earned. Nothing goes into the closet until I approve it to go in. And of course pictures go up on the internet, bad and eventually good.

[Click to Enlarge, Opens in a New Window]
This is Austin standing next to Mount Trashmore, notice how high it comes up to him.

Another picture of Austin next to Mount Trashmore.

The Shamelings, Austin and Christopher.

Mount Trashmore.

Mount Trashmore.

Mount Trashmore and their bed.

The bookshelf AFTER picture, as in After Mom removed the junk. That is the Euromop and their plastic storage tubs you see.

And that is the closet AFTER picture… after Mom removed all the crap.

Stay tuned for updates… we are on hour one and the boys have removed one large garbage bag of trash, one laundry basket full of clothes, one armful of books have been put away, one load of things that do not belong to them/in their room have been removed and they have almost earned their first break. Daddy came home briefly at lunch to view the mess, back me up, and help me move my laptop to “the Guard Tower” aka, the hallway directly outside their room so I can supervise 100% of the action while playing on Pogo.com.

5 Comments | In: Uncategorized | tags: Austin, Christopher, Parenting, Tirade. | #

I watched the movie last night Raising Cain: Boys in Focus and I was AMAZED at some of the things I saw and learned. This movie talked about many issues facing boys and young men from censorship of violent stories at school, an education system that does not understand how to teach this complex gender, peer pressure to conform to others to fit in, to how being fatherless or impoverished can affect our young men. If you have sons, are an educator, or work with boys, this movie is a must see. Even my husband found a lot of the information helpful, even if he did keep telling me I told you so.

The main focus of this movie is that we are not raising violent men by allowing violent writing and violent play. Boys who pretend to be cops and robbers, Sir Lancelot, Luke Skywalker, or a sub-machine gun wielding robot DO NOT turn into violent men. In fact a child is more likely to be permanently damaged by being told he cannot play these natural types of games. This carries into writing and reading as well and this is where the most profound quote hit home.

“Boys lag behind girls in literacy because schools discourage the things that they are interested in”.

This was said by Thomas Newkirk, who wrote the book Misreading Masculinity as he was explaining how the public school system is failing our boys by discouraging books that may interest them, or disallowing full creativity of stories that may be offensive to others. He goes on to say that boys should be allowed to write about things like death, or murder, as long as the subject of that story is not a classmate.

They showed an example of a young boy named Seth, who was in a pre-school or kindergarten where the teacher would sit down with each student and they would write a short story. At the end of the session the teacher would read the stories out loud to the other students in circle and they would discuss it. Seth wrote a little story about a unicorn and a horse, and a mean man killing the horse, so the unicorn turned around and killed the mean man. The girls were all very upset over this story, as horses should not be killed they said. Seth seemed heartbroken and they made a rule that stories could not be about dying, just fainting. The next day Seth could not focus during writing time and the teacher said the boy who normally would come to her with a story in mind without hesitation, suddenly had writers block and had a hard time coming up with anything to say. So the teacher talked to the children once more and they all agreed that it was OK for them to write about ‘bad guys’ dying, or getting killed; just not the ‘good guys’. Seth seemed pleased with this answer and his writers block cleared.

Now, imagine if your own 5 yr old is told to censor his writing, and that he cannot play with weapons, and he cannot ready books about magic and dragons because they are too violent. And this continues through age 6, 7, 8 and so on. Your child is told in order to get a passing grade in school they have to read from an approved list of books that are on things like horses, or living on a prairie, or the trials and tribulations of first grade, when they really want to be reading about knights and dragons, shark attacks and hacking and slashing through piles of venomous snakes to find the lost treasure. Can you see how through time they may lose their interest in education all together?

Boy are also active, where schools want you to sit down, stay still, and listen. Active boys need active play in order to keep their mind focused. When the movie talked about how schools are lessening or taking away recess time and how this is causing boys to have a harder time focusing, it made me think of Cesar Millan, the dog whisperer, who is always preaching that in order to calm the mind, you must exercise the mind. I think this is true for children too, and when we take away games such as tag, or football at recess, or take away recess all together, you are setting boys up for failure in school. It is no wonder when boys are asked their favorite subject in school they respond Gym, Lunch or Recess.

This year, Austin was fortunate enough to be in an all boys classroom, taught by a male teacher who focused on boy centered learning. The school has seen increased test scores from this program and Austin has seen grades higher than he has ever achieved before, from some B’s, but mostly A’s. I think this is a direct result of boy centered learning and I really look forward to when Christopher will also get to be in this same class.

Anyways, please go see this movie, either borrow it from the library, Netflix it, or even buy it. The wealth of information received from this documentary has been invaluable, and reassuring that I can be a good mom to these sensitive young boys in a world where public education and society is failing our sons.

1 Comment | In: Uncategorized | tags: Advocacy, Austin, Bobby, Christopher, Matthew, Parenting, Public Service Announcements, Tirade. | #

There are times when stuff happens in my personal life that I hesitate to share on my blog, and this is one of them. I mentioned on my other blog, how back in August Austin was being bullied, and then again briefly mentioned it here. One of the main reasons why I try not to mention this stuff is because there is another child involved, and I have found that bullies are often a by-product of a troubled child in a troubled him. I don’t believe that my “badmouthing” the bully will change the situation.

With that all said, Austin was hurt at school again yesterday. On the walk home the bully from the last incident tried to take his backpack from him and throw it in the creek, Austin resisted because his house key is in the backpack and he did not want to lose it. The bully tried to take it by force and ripped the backpack and shoved Austin to the ground. Austin was very upset, and tried to hide the incident, but my friend who was here watching Matthew got him to talk about it.

Skip to today, I called the school to talk to the Principal who was unavailable so I talked to the counselor who talked to the parents of all involved, the main bully showed no remorse, his parents did not seem upset at his behavior. All children involved got suspended for two days, and after Bobby talked to the counselor we decided not to press charges against the child.

So anyways, this is the short version of the story, everyone in the family is on edge/stressed but we will get this taken care of and I am confident this issue will stop.

3 Comments | In: A lot about nothing | tags: A lot about nothing, Austin, Tirade, Updates. | #

I am so angry about all these commercials I have seen for tonight’s episode of Supernanny. I boycotted the show after an episode where the mom was berated for co-sleeping with her children and her babies were forced into their own rooms while mom cried, the babies cried, and the father was distraught to see his family in tears. The mom finally snuck the babies back into her bed while the nanny fumed and belittled the mother on camera, and the parents and children got a good night’s sleep.

Well, tonight they are taking on the issue of extended breast-feeding. So, you must be thinking this “child” must be 6 or 7, right? Noooo, this baby is only 14 months old, and the nanny wished to rip this precious little one off her mama and “give her a bottle” as the announcer says. What kind of idiotic advice is that??? Anyone who is familiar with the AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) or the WHO (Wold Health Organization) knows that the bottle should not be used after 1 year of age, and breastfeeding should continue as long as mutually desirable, but beyond 12 months. In fact, I will go farther and suggest nursing to age 2 or 3 and letting the child decide when s/he wishes to stop.

Matthew is 2 now, and he still asks for “boo” between 3 times a day, to as little as every other day. If anyone told me to wean him (like my old doctor, with an emphasis on OLD) I would educate them, laugh in their face, ignore them, or in the case of my old doctor, fire them. This whole thing has really left a bad taste in my mouth and has reaffirmed my decision to quit watching this show for it’s poor advice towards mothers of babies and toddlers. I thought she had great suggestions for older children, but her backwards views and anti-Attachment Parenting styles for younger children have done nothing but infuriate me and make me doubt any other advice she gives.

So mamas, hold you babies close, and keep the love flowing, your little ones will continue to benefit from your milk, comfort, and love.

3 Comments | In: Uncategorized | tags: Advocacy, Controversey, Lame-o, Parenting, Tirade. | #