I can’t believe how thirsty I am, and then I guzzle water by the gallon all day long and when I try to pee, I barely go at all. I think I am going to call my primary care doc on Monday and see if she can test me for a UTI and order me another beta test since my OBs office STILL did not have the results of my first beta blood test I had drawn on Wednesday morning. The nurse did tell me my blood test was positive, after doubting I was pregnant when their ultra non-sensitive test came back negative.

I am undecided what I want to do about my OBs office. One one hand I am grateful they impregnated me. I am also wanting to use a midwife and they have the only midwives covered by my insurance…. BUT they don’t take me seriously, they don’t believe in early monitoring and it’s hard to get someone on the phone. I miss my old OB, I would love to use him again, but new insurance means new doctors and hospitals.

Cycle Dates: 8/15/07 – EDD: 5/30/08

Yup! I peed two lines!!

(Click to Enlarge)

I will get a blood test on 9/19 and then have my first official appointment in 4-6 weeks.

Guess I can delete my cycle ticker down below and use this one instead:

Baby Gender Predictor

We are feeling so over the moon excited right now, I can’t wait to see the heartbeat of my little Bellybean.

I guess I am not crazy afterall!

Well, here it is, 3 days later, and still nothing new. I should find out this week what my progesterone levels are, but I am 100% sure I did indeed ovulate on the 7th. I am 9 days after ovulation today, and yesterday had a nice little dip in my chart some could call an “implantation dip” and other’s would call an estrogen surge.

Symptom Checker:

Nausea – 5 days now
Smell Aversion – 4 days now
Bloating – Started Today
Constipated – 2 days now
Cramping – Yesterday
Fatigue – 2 days now
Moody – Started today
I also noticed yesterday and today my gums are swollen and sore.

So, all can be chalked up to PMS, my overactive imagination, or an illness. I am not saying if I feel pregnant or not because honestly I don’t know. I do know time seems to be going so slow. It is so hard to wait to test, but these below percentages explain why I am trying my hardest to wait. These are the percentages of when the average woman will get a positive pregnancy test.

* 35% at 10dpo
* 51% at 11dpo
* 62% at 12dpo
* 68% at 13dpo
* 74% at 14dpo
* 80% at 15dpo
* 88% at 16dpo
* 92% at 17dpo

And the insert says “In clinical testing, FIRST RESPONSE® detected the hormone levels in 69% of women 4 days before their expected period, in 83% of women 3 days before their expected period, in 93% of women 2 days before their expected period, and in 93% of women 1 day before their expected period.”

So, if I tested tomorrow, I would have a 35% chance of testing positive by one statistic or 69% by another statistic; both seem pretty low if you ask me.

I hate this waiting it’s crazy hard waiting this long if you ask me.

Anyways, I normally spot 1-2 days before I start my period, which is due on Saturday, so if I have not spotted by Friday that will be a good sign, but hopefully I will have some answers before then.

This is my second cycle on 50 mg of clomid, I ovulated later than my NP wanted me to, on day 24, where ideal is day 14. She had me using Ovulation Prediction Kits to know when to schedule my very first IUI, (Intra-Uterine Insemination) which was a lot less painful than I thought it would be. If I don’t get my period this month, I will be taking a home pregnancy test on 9/22/07. I know you are all finding it difficult to wait this long for some news, but it’s hard for me too. The body plays many tricks on a woman and PMS feels surprisingly similar to pregnancy, it’s difficult not to think that every upset stomach could be the result of lunch that did not agree with me, not morning sickness.

A little history, I am not new to infertility. I had Christopher in 1997 after being on birth control for a number of years, he was not an accident, but at the same time not planned. He was welcomed into our lives with much joy. When he was about 9 months old we decided we would have another baby, but I was lacking periods from 9 months on Depo Provera. In 1999 we sought out professional help at the military base who tried numerous methods to help my husband and myself. I was eventually referred to an RE (What is an RE?) who diagnosed me with PCOS, or Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCO-whaaa?) We tried clomid without success, and eventually took a break, because the Army sent my husband overseas for two years. (Conspiracy to lower our medical bills? I say yes!!) I should also mention at the end of 1999 we were trying to conceive number 3, not number 2 because Austin had just joined our family permanently.

While he was gone, from 2002-2004 my GYN put me on birth control pills, a common “treatment” for PCOS. I say it that way because birth control pills do not treat the syndrome itself, but it does lesson the side effects. Needless to say we got quite a bit of razzing for him being thousands of miles away and me being on the pill, but whatever. In May 2004, three months after he returned home from Iraq, we decided we would stop using the pill and see what happens. In July 2004 we bought our first home and in the moving process we threw out all my old maternity clothes… I figure I was about 5 days past conception at that time, and a blood test probably would not have even showed my new little belly bean. Matthew was born in March of 2005, into the arms of my OB nurse.

As soon as my periods resumed from childbirth we decided we would try to have another… let me back up by saying as soon as I confirmed I was pregnant with Matthew I decided we would have more, but Bobby was not fully on board. Men are funny creatures, they don’t see a positive pregnancy test with #3 and think, wow, time to start planning for a fourth. This month marks the second year I have been seriously trying to get pregnant, though we only recently sought out medical assistance because I am still breastfeeding Matthew and I refuse to make Matthew go without so I can give him a sibling. We are seeing a practical nurse in an OB/GYN office for our treatments, because face it, specialists are expensive and I won’t take away from money for my other three children to fund a fourth. So now you are pretty much caught up, if you are familiar with basal body temperatures of natural family planning you can click here to visit my WebChart.

Due to lack of posting, I am deleting the Trying to Conceive page and putting all the posts on the main page.

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Now playing: David Bowie – The Jean Genie
via FoxyTunes

Well, it is almost 2 am and I am still awake. I guess “up again” would be a better description since I went to bed and could not sleep, so I got back up again.

Let’s see. The older two boys are in Washington right now with their grandparents. We are missing them like crazy and will join them in less than a week. Matthew is asking for them daily and my house is boring, quiet and lonely without them here.

I finally had a cycle thanks to Provera, a synthetic form of progesterone. I had an HSG on Friday, where they insert dye contrast into my uterus and watch how well it spills into my tubes to make sure there is no blockage; no official word back yet, but they looked clear to me. Tomorrow is my last Clomid pill, a low dose fertility drug and hopefully I will ovulate soon. I have a fertility chart (opens in a new window) if you are interested, that I try to update often. Ok, so about as much as I have been updating the blog.

On the topic of blogging, I am thinking about closing down my other blog on blogspot and just transferring the archives over here. I just don’t have time to have two blogs going. I will miss a lot of the features over there, such as drag & drop layout formatting; but trying to keep both active is a nightmare. Again this is just a thought I am kicking around. I also purchased a new domain to use as a mirror site, that way I am easier to find and hopefully I will start generating more traffic. I can also be found by going to www.mistakesinmotherhood.com and it will redirect you back here.

Bobby just finished another semester in school and is 8 months from graduating. He is taking some steps towards trying to make things more financially secure for us, but I would like to see how those work out before making any announcements. Consider it unhatched eggs I am refusing to count. He is still loving his job, though I think he does not like all the downtime.

Matthew is developing his verbal skills daily, parroting almost everything we say, and playing back his new dialog throughout the day. Today he was watching Sesame Street with me and the letter of the day was “K” and they had a skit with kids demonstrating “Karate” and saying it started with the letter “K”. Matthew seems frustrated that they were calling the sport that he knows only as “Tae-Kwon-Do” and raised his voice to the TV and said “Silly boys! Tae Kwon DO!!” He also was quite proud of the term I used when changing his diaper and had to share with our dinner guests that he had a “bio-hazard butt”.

We have decided to hold off on landscaping the complete yard, and just do the front yard this year, and the back yard next year, or even the year after. We did get an invisible fence in the back yard to keep the dogs from chewing on the wood and when we landscape it will keep them out of the new trees and bushes. I could not believe how fast Chloe learned that the red flags and warning beeps from her collar mean step back, but Isis still has a bit more to learn. She is really good about knowing her new boundaries are 2 feet from the fence, but when she gets too fixated on the neighbor dog and does not back off when she hears her collar beep, so will get a small zap that snaps her back to reality.

It is now 3 am and I am starting to get sleepy, so I think I will try to get some rest. I have had a backache in my lower back all day and I think it is partially to blame for this touch of insomnia. Unfortunately I am having a really hard time pulling myself away from a news story about a neglectful parent, so who knows WHEN I will actually make it in bed (it was 4:30 am).

The only thing that is stopping me now is that I am late, probably because I don’t think I ovulated last month, the 2nd time since January ’06, figures it would be the month I want my period early. I am starting to get crampy, hopefully it is not just wishful thinking.

Oh, I almost forgot, I am also getting a hysterosalpingogram (HSG) around cycle day 5-7. I had this done back in 1999 and although it was somewhat uncomfortable (I mean it IS dye being inserted into the uterus and fallopian tubes though a catheter) it was nothing that I cannot handle and has a side effect of slightly increased fertility for a few cycles.

On top of that I am exhausted and have an upset stomach. I started a new medicine last night for my PCOS which always makes me so sick and tired. I guess it is not new, since I have started and stopped it two other times in the past, but new to my system since it has been a year since I tried it last.

I can also smell pee in my house, but I am not sure from who, or where it is and it is driving me insane… it is not strong, but it is there and it will be the cherry on my “I’m going crazy Sundae”.

This morning I tested with my CBEFM and got a “Peak” reading, then again I tested positive on my OPK so I know I am going to ovulate today or tomorrow. I hate this roller coaster, I just want it to all be over. I think by the end of the school year this year, Bobby and I need to make a decision if we want to stop trying or not. I am just not prepared to put up another long haul of a fight again.

I have PCOS, Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. This is an endocrine disorder that causes a plethora of symptoms, such as high testosterone and estrogen, weight gain, ovarian cysts, male hair growth & hair loss, heart disease, infertility, menstrual problems (irregular, infrequent or absent) and many many more problems. Right now there are several treatment options, such as insulin controlling medicines like Metformin, or Birth Control Pills to mask the symptoms. There are other surgical options or medicine therapy, but the above two are the most common.

The biggest heartbreak of infertility is how unfair it all is… my insurance will cover 100% of Viagra, birth control pills, surgical sterilization, abortion (all with a copay between $15-30), yet just for the initial consult with a Reproductive Endocrinologist I am looking at $700 out of pocket. Each visit after that would cost almost as much and I could be looking at being seen as many as 4-5 times in a single month. Also, why is it abusive parents, drug addicts and people who do not want children can pop them out right and left, where moms like me are lucky to have any at all.

In June 2004, 2 months after getting off of birth control pills, I learned I was pregnant for the second time. Matthew was born 10 months later, healthy, happy, and without complication. We started trying for #4 in August 2005 without any success. Because we just cannot afford advanced treatment from a Reproductive Endocrinologist, or even an OB/GYN we continue to just pray and hope that it will happen again.

If you are also suffering from infertility, be is primary, or secondary and in the Chicago or Naperville Illinois area, I urge you to seek treatment through a Reproductive Endocrinologist like Dr. Randy Morris at Chicago IVF. You do not have to suffer in silence, there are treatment options out there to help you achieve your dream!

*This is a sponsored post.

I am not too worried about it, I know how to make babies… I just can’t do it when I want.